Why I Should Write Dialogue For the World

Old Lady from Singapore Airlines: "Casual day in your office today?"
LOGMAN the Awesome: "Bitch day in your office today?"

Irony

Spending 3 weeks travelling all over town taking care of someone else's cats - including 4 visits to the vet and having to separate 2 kittens from their mother, meaning constantly going between houses... and just when they've all gone back to their owners and you can try and get your own life sorted out again, you find out your own cat has been hit by a car and killed.

Awesome.

I Wish I Was a Sharp Knife...

A sharp knife.

To cut...

Why God Never Received a PhD

This isn't mine, but dang it needed to be shared. Full credit to Halo for being such a funny bitch.

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a referred journal.
5. Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
17. No record of working well with colleagues.