Timbaland Is The Best Thing To Ever Happen To Music...

Hey Tim, look at me go!

Many people today have been asking me the same question: Do you like the new Justin Timberlake album? So now I will attempt to answer that question...

Yes. Yes I do

I think back to a time that now seems so far away... a time when boy bands roamed the charts without a care in the world... a time when N*Sync were releasing powerful songs like "Bye Bye Bye" and "It's Gonna Be Me"... when this guy with a perm & a squeaky voice was somehow with the hottest girl in pop...

My how times have changed

Future Sex/Love Sounds is the strongest pop album I have heard in many, many years. This album is honestly leading the way for Album of the Year in my books - The Cure's new album next month would have to be their best in about 7 years to even come close to this. In fact, the only album I could think of that would be better than this would have to involve at least 10 tracks of Christina Aguilera & Missy Elliott. Actually, that would be awesome. Someone get on the phone and see if we can hook that up...

It is the overall slickness of this album that has me convinced that Timbaland is the greatest producer out there. I always loved the way he and Missy kept re-inventing hip-hop... they really were ahead of everyone else as far as production goes. And you haven't lived until you've seen Timbaland in the studio with Jay-Z in Fade To Black

I guess his first real move into the pop world was with JT's first album, and I don't need to tell anyone how awesome "Cry Me A River" is. If I do, you are stupid! And don't bother speaking to me for a few weeks or I'll probably start every conversation with "What is wrong with you?". But then 2006 comes and he not only makes Nelly Furtado cool again, but then comes and wakes up the music world with Future Sex/Love Sounds...

The real appeal in this album for me, is just how smoothly each song flows... the preludes & interludes aren't just little filler things like on most albums - they are good songs in their own right! Especially the "I Think She Knows" interlude... how anyone would think to do that with a song is beyond me...

I haven't been this excited by an album since Missy's The Cookbook (which funnily enough, is the only Missy album NOT produced by Timbaland... he only produced a few of the tracks). I could honestly spend all night writing about the amazing things this album has to offer... I could almost do a track-by-track breakdown... but it would really just consist of me writing AWESOME 12 times. But I will say that "My Love" & "Lovestoned" (with "I Think She Knows" interlude) are the absolute highlights for me. But while my opinion is law, you must check out this album for yourself. Go buy it. NOW!!!!

...And Fergie Is The Worst

Word to ya mutha... WHORE!!!

Seriously, what is the deal with her popularity? First she turns the Black Eyed Peas into an advertising campaign for her ass, and now this low-class stripper thinks she has enough musical talent to warrant a solo single?

I thought "My Humps" was the lowest any 'musical artist' (and boy do I use that term loosely here) could sink, but "London Bridge" is just a slight re-working of Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl"... minus any shred of vocal, musical or song writing skill. The only partially entertaining part is the fact that it was produced by the same guy who produced The Pussycat Dolls' "Buttons"... and not even he could make Fergie sound good!

Back to my original point... I genuinely consider Stacy Ferguson to be the worst thing to happen to pop music. Not only does she reinforce the attitude that you don't have to have talent to sell records, just act like a $2 hooker, but people continue to buy the music by her and The Black Eyed Peas no matter how devoid of quality it is. And this in turn lowers the quality of the music that is released by other labels - record executives don't care about artists or songs so long as they sound like what it is already selling. So what we then get is more people trying to sound like they are 12 and referring to their body parts with as much maturity as a 5 year old

Think I'm joking? Go listen to Robbie Williams' latest single "Rude Box"...

I hereby plead with all music loving people around the world to join with me in prayer... that one day our radio waves and televisons will be free of the flat tones and skanky dance moves that we have been subjected to by the untalented, unattractive, unintelligent and unbelievably annoying WHORE that is Stacy Ferguson