Jim Kelly June Jamboree: Black Samurai (1976)

THE MOVIE

We are back in Hong Kong, where some ugly dudes are following a girl while she shops. Turns out she's a rude bitch.

The girl is some government dude's daughter and these ugly guys are going to kidnap her? Are we playing 'Let's Try That Again'?!? And what's with the seductive music while she gets kidnapped? Before I can answer, the opening credits are here with an awesome theme and all sorts of epilepsy.

It's my main man - Jim Kelly! And he's giving some lady a whooping... in tennis.

The Man turns up and says he needs to get back to work and go after a bad dude called Agustus Janicott, "a high priest of the occult" who uses his slaves as drug runners and prostitutes. Jim Kelly is Robert Sand, an agent for an organisation called D.R.A.G.O.N. - and he doesn't appreciate The Man interrupting his vacation, so no matter what they say about this dude, he is not interested. Until they explain that he is behind the kidnapping we saw earlier. And the girl kidnapped isn't just a government dude's daughter - she is Sand's secret girlfriend, Toki! Of course, he is now on the case!

Sand flies to wherever this is all going down and is immediately under attack from the bad guys; they attack him in his car and they attack him while at home doing some training.

But of course Sand just whoops their butts and then crashes Janicott's party. Well, he had an invite from somewhere, but he proceeds to hit on Janicott's main girl in the most hilariously arrogant and uninterested way that I'm sure he won't be welcome for long.

You can tell Janicott is a real high-roller, because his parties feature a 20-piece Mexican band, a drugged up white girl dancing badly, and... a buzzard. Janicott invited Sand as some sort of trap, so throws his whole party out of the window by starting a rumble with him. What a shitty host. Sand walks along rooftops and whoops all of Janicott's men - including stomping some dude's balls and calling him "Whitey fa***t!".

Pretty sure that's a hate crime there, Sand. 

Then he beats up more dudes, and a couple of midgets, before making his escape. Janicott expresses his disappointment with his top henchman/black gay pirate, Bones, who just responds with "That's okay".

Janicott feeds an old white dude to his snakes to make an example of him. I mean, I would think that sort of thing would make Sand happy? Maybe the black gay pirate, too? Anyways, Sand goes on the hunt for his beloved Toki; first to one of Janicott's businesses (where he gets in another rumble), and then to one of his associates' house - via a fucking jet pack!

There, he fights with some jungle men and is forced to kill another midget. Dude is just committing hate crimes all over the place. Turns out Toki is actually at Janicott's house, so it's back there to stop her being sacrificed for one of his black magic rituals or something. Sand must defeat the gay pirate Bones and then finally put a stop to Janicott and his evil ways, so that he and Toki can live happily ever after!

REACTION

Now this is a Jim Kelly movie! It is quite a low-budget affair, and certainly doesn't have the charm or comedic fun that you find in something like Black Belt Jones, but this more of hard-nosed action movie with no nonsense and violence. Lots of violence. And okay, there is nonsense. Like fighting midgets and dudes dressed in loincloths. One of the more entertaining features of the film is all the hilarious ADR that gets thrown in all the time; someone might be walking the street and suddenly they will be saying something - but clearly not talking. It's especially fun during the fight scenes where they've added Jim Kelly just insulting people while he fights them. During his last fight with Bones, they both talk smack constantly in ADR - but only when the shot is of the other person, i.e. you'll have a close-up of Bones, while Jim Kelly is taunting him "Hit me - come on hit me! You are going down!"

JIM KELLY
My man was just absolutely ruthless as Robert Sand. It felt like all he cared about was himself and Toki, and he showed absoltely zero mercy to anyone in his way. Even midgets. And it was nice to see him not bowing to The Man again. Also (spoiler alert), the way he finished off Janicott was pretty darn cold. And he flew a fucking jet pack! After Hot Potato, this was exactly what was needed. Oh and I almost forgot! He defeated a fucking buzzard!

I need to watch again and figure out what D.R.A.G.O.N. stands for. Highly recommended you don't mess with Robert Sand!

すてんだっぷガールズ!〜第1話 ダメダメ怪獣にご用心〜

Unemployed and ejected from the movie theatre, our heroes can no longer afford windows

This is just a single but I didn't think it fits on the Tracks compilation. Plus it's the final PASSPO☆ release and is responsible for me discovering the awesomeness that is PASSPO☆, so it deserves it's own post.

Our opening song is the title track - you know, the subject of the single - すてんだっぷガールズ!〜第1話 ダメダメ怪獣にご用心〜. Duh! It picks up where Cinema Trip left off. It's just a blazing assault of pop-punk awesomeness that makes every day better. Each girl gets a moment to spit some cool lyrics in a fun way.

Our second song is Party Like a Rockstar! At first, I thought this was inferior, but now I realise this song is actually a different kind of badass. I get the feeling it was written specifically for Band PASSPO☆. It's super awesome.

Then we get instrumentals of both songs, which I don't totally mind because there is actually some really cool stuff going on in these songs and I need to make myself learn すてんだっぷガールズ! in full one day. The Party Like a Rockstar! instrumental is followed by PASSPO☆ talking for 10 minutes. I think Blue just watched the video for ギミギミaction 4 times and said the food looked really good. White gets them back on track to discuss the single but then Red is like 'Why is the title for this song not written in English?" I could try and recap more, but I will leave that for another day when I can focus more and my Japanese is better.

Highlights:
すてんだっぷガールズ!〜第1話 ダメダメ怪獣にご用心〜, Party Like a Rockstar!

Lowlights:
The last release from PASSPO☆

6 / 7 Glowsticks

Cinema Trip First-Class Edition Bonus Disc

With both their airline and diner businesses failing, our heroes took up a new hobby of being rowdy at movies

So there isn't much to this at all - just the video for Playground. It's pretty great; Aqua catches a flight on PASSPO☆ Airlines, where she drifts off to sleep after watching a horror movie and being poisoned with a "Zombie Virus" drink. She has a nightmare where the other girls are all zombies and make her one of them and they dance up a storm. I'm not sure it is a good advertisement for the service you can expect on PASSPO☆ Airlines. Unless you are wanting to become a zombie? I mean, I guess it's an added bonus feature other airlines just aren't offering these days.

The dance shot version is even better because this choreography is FIRE.

With only one video on the disc, I decided to watch all the other videos from this era:

Mr. Wednesday just involves PASSPO☆ being cute - getting ready for their day and playing music and dancing.

ラブリフレイン is just Band PASSPO☆ jamming the song and dancing.

7's Up is fun video from live performance.

バチェロレッテは終わらない is another great video; it's announced on the PASSPO☆ World Evening News that White is going to get married. The other girls see this on TV so throw her a bachelorette party, which involves ridiculous gifts like baseballs bats and hula hoops. And a lot of drinking. And they shoot Aqua out of a canon. The making of this looked seriously fun.

ギミギミaction is actually the greatest music video ever. Me writing about it doesn't do any justice. But I will say Red puts on the performance of a lifetime as Purple's douchebag boyfriend causing trouble for the PASSPO☆ family at Christmas. Orange also make for a super cute dog.

So one video on that DVD really wasn't enough. They should have included all of them, because they are actually good. Well, Playground and バチェロレッテは終わらない are, and ギミギミaction is amazing.

Highlights:
Red and Yellow portraying convincing Japanese men, the choreography in Playground

Lowlights:
All this should have been on the DVD

5 / 7 Glowsticks

Cinema Trip

PASSPO☆ Airlines: Now travelling to over 6 Movie Cinemas Worldwide

And then there were 7.

It's the last day of PASSPO☆ week and we are doing a double feature of sorts. Starting with their final album, Cinema Trip. Our opening track for this is Popcorn Bought? White invites us to join them on a trip to enjoy different types of movies and then this track just rocks up a storm. I said it before and I'll say it again - these opening instrumentals just got better and better and right here was the peak.

Now we kick things off proper with Music Navigation and you know you're in store for a special time. I like that each girl gets a real solid moment. They all get even more in 7's Up - where each girl does an introduction for the next girl. Best I can tell; Orange sucks at dieting and is the oldest, Red is fire at guitar, White uses hashtags and likes games, Yellow drinks water and has muscles, Blue travels the world, Aqua looks like a child and Purple dances and is married to PASSPO☆ forever.

Playground is this gothic horror dance masterpiece, with lyrics about zombies and monsters and music that channels horror scores. It's like WING crossed with Sophie Ellis-Bextor or something. Also the dance shot video is fucking BAAAAADAAAAAASSS. Mr. Wednesday is almost the opposite vibe - it's just straight up pop fun. Like a Beef or Chicken? song without the punk-styles. It's one of those songs where you think 'meh' but then it gets going and before you know it, you're singing along and having a great time. 

ラブリフレイン is a quiet little love song, but things immediately get back to the rockin' with NASA! 〜なんであいつ好きなんだ、嗚呼〜. It's pretty darn heavy.  And so is 不屈のレジスタンス. It's almost a Yellow solo song - I don't hear much of anyone else in there at all. If they're there, Yellow is overpowering them. WEEKDAY QUEENS is a bit more back on the pop-punk fun times track. The sort of song that makes LOGMAN sign into a hairbrush around his room. マイノリティー・ヒーロー is back to the heavy shit, except this time it's Purple giving it some attitude. Then we hit ギミギミaction for one of the absolute funnest PASSPO☆ songs on the planet. Then we get フィルム which is one of the most beautiful songs they've done. I wanna say pop-punk anthem but it really is more of a pop-punk power ballad. .

And we end the album with バチェロレッテは終わらない. It's the number one song in my iTunes and in my heart.

So it goes without saying this is my favourite album. While I can admit now that Beef or Chicken? is actually a slightly stronger album (ラブリフレイン does not measure up to the rest of the album), I will also readily admit that I will always love this album more and the awesomest songs are just that bit more awesome than the awesomest songs on Beef or Chicken? JEJEJEJET!! and Beef or Chicken? both have that 1-2 punch at the end, but Cinema Trip has the triple-threat of ギミギミaction, フィルム AND バチェロレッテは終わらない. If that's not enough to make album the top of your list, then you're doomed and just let me dance on your grave again. Playground might be more suitable for that!

Highlights:
Music Navigation, 7's Up, Playground, ギミギミaction, フィルム , バチェロレッテは終わらない

Lowlights:
The last album PASSPO☆ will ever release

7 / 7 Glowsticks