ONE LIVE KISS (2008)

"Only the power of rock'n roll can defeat these evil zombies!"...

Paul Stanley solo live album!

More like Paul Stanley with a band, but you know what I mean. A fairly decent mix of songs from the '78 solo album, Live to Win and various Kiss classics. With lots of backing vocals and shredding guitar. And keyboards. Which sound weird in Got to Choose.

Other than some clown doing stupid shredding all through the Kiss classics, this is all pretty standard. What holds it back from being anything special is this is 2008 Paul Stanley, whose vocal powers are greatly diminished at 56. Don't get me wrong - he can still sing, it's just a solo performance from him would have been so much more powerful about 15 years earlier. I would have loved to hear 1992 Paul Stanley singing Move On or Tonight You Belong to Me. Or especially Goodbye. And someone else on guitar with him, like Slash. Someone makes this happen!

But with his vocals not being amazing, he falls back to relying on the band to be impressive. And that shredder dude is only awesome when battling the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Especially in the latest incarnation - man he is all kinds of badassery. I'm not a great fan of the actual design, but personality-wise he is exactly what you want from an evil Ninja master.


Highlights:
That episode where Shredder defeated the turtles, injured Leonardo and left Splinter for dead. That shit had me on the edge of my seat.

Lowlights:
A Million to One, I Want You, Lift



Verdict = 3 Smoking Les Paul Guitars

SPACEWALK: A TRIBUTE TO ACE FREHLEY (1996)

Boba Fett soon found his new spaceship design was not particularly aerodynamic...

It's a bunch of metal dudes! Performing Ace Frehley and Kiss songs!

Badly!!!

I don't really know why I added this in, since it is just a tribute album. Well, actually I do: there is a new Ace Frehley song at the end. And it is pure awesome, like most things Ace does.

However, every rendition leading to that final song of awesome is a pile of sweaty garbage. Stinky, sweaty garbage. From the dirtiest creek in India. The guy doing Deuce is a terrible fucking singer. And whoever okayed this version of Shock Me should be arrested for terrorism or something. Rip It Out is actually somewhat good! Mainly because it just sounds exactly like the original, apart from the crap sounding guitar. Seriously, did this dude put his amp in the microwave and then set it for 3 minutes on medium heat and then it all exploded into flames? Hey, some guy is doing Hard Luck Woman! And he is an infinitely worse singer than Peter Criss! I fail to see the point of doing that song when this an Ace Frehley tribute album and not only did Ace not write or sing Hard Luck Woman, he didn't really do any signature licks or anything. It sure as fuck isn't a song I think of when I think of how awesome Ace Frehley is. Seriously, out of all the work Ace has done up to this point in his career - from 10 albums with Kiss, to 4 albums without - and you choose Hard Luck Woman to express your tribute? And then do it badly?? Just fuck the fuck off.

Oh fuck, the guy singing Snow Blind may actually be the worst so far! And it is then just covered in heavy metal guitar bullshit. From here it is just a mess of shredding, bad singing, more shredding and shredding shred shredders! Fuck this.

Dimebag Darrell is the only person I will bother mentioning because he has covered Fractured Mirror and it is quite good. Mainly because there is no terrible singing - perhaps they all should have just done instrumentals? Then Ace Frehley says "You guys are no match for me and my awesome" and closes the album with the only song that doesn't give me cancer.


Highlights:
Take Me to the City by Ace Frehley - duh!

Lowlights:
Listening to 10 great songs get destroyed on the way to that one good song



Verdict = 3 Sad Tears of the Catman