DRESSED TO KILL (1975)

Pimpin' ain't easy...

When I first started doing this, this was the album I figured would win my top spot. While most Kiss fans consider the 76-77 period the best, for me these first 3 albums (4 including Alive!) are where the most fun is.

In fact, this album probably would have taken the top spot if not for 'Ladies in Waiting'. Not that the song is bad - because it isn't. It just isn't as good as everything else on the album and it always just sticks out like a dry, stale muffin surrounded by bowls of ice-cream and Snickers bars. But by Prime, those ice-creams are all such delicious flavours.

Oh I know - 'Rock Bottom' suffers the same problem as 'Comin' Home', as it rocks so much harder on 'Unplugged'. I want to go back to 1974 Kiss and play them the 'Unplugged' show so they can feel bad about making electric songs weaker than when done acoustically... before they go back to their groupies and millions of dollars. That'll teach 'em. But it is still fun, and the rest of the album is as strong and consistent as anything Kiss have ever produced. 'Getaway' is so much fun and 'Love Her All I Can' is an unappreciated gem. This album is full of killer guitar riffs. Oh, and it also happens to close with a certain rock'n roll national anthem... yeah, these guys sure know how to end albums.

This album may not have the classics that everyone knows, or still get performed live all the time. But to me, this album sums up Kiss better than any other album before or after; fun, simple rock'n roll that makes you want to "rock'n roll all nite and party every day"

Highlights:

Room Service, Two Timer, Getaway, C'mon and Love Me, She, Love Her All I Can, Rock'n Roll All Nite

Lowlights:

Only 29 minutes long. I'm not sure if Ladies in Waiting really counts - it isn't actually terrible, just compared to everything else it sounds like... well, me trying to do a Kiss song

Verdict = 4 Smoking Les Pauls and a thumbs up

HOTTER THAN HELL (1974)

Sunbathing in the Kiss house always gets rough

After a good but not amazing effort on debut, Kiss moved to LA to make their follow-up. Unfortunately, the LA smog consumed the recordings and made everything sound like it was fighting its way out of sludge. Which is a shame, because this album rocks hard!

'Got to Choose' is one hell of a cool opening song, and anyone that ever disses Peter Criss' skills as a drummer should listen to his awesome fills in 'Parasite' - probably the heaviest Kiss song to date. 'Goin' Blind' is their first attempt at a slow song, I guess. Ace's solo is awesome. In fact, Ace's solos on all these songs are killer. The title track, 'Hotter than Hell' is a solid rocker, then you get the high energy of 'Let Me Go Rock'n Roll' - which is so damn awesome it was their show closer until 'Rock'n Roll All Nite' came about.

Then 'All the Way' is your classic stomping groove while Gene makes fun of some woman for talking too much kind of song, followed by another heavy classic 'Watchin' You'. Next, Peter hits us with his song for the album 'Mainline'... and it's... there... 

'Comin' Home' is apparently written about how unhappy they guys were in LA and wanted to get back to New York. Then Peter says 'Hey guys, my last song wasn't good enough' so he sings the Ace written 'Strange Ways' and the world explodes from the awesome and the album has no choice but to end.

Notice I have nothing bad to say? That's because this album is awesome with a fist pumping in the air while I head bang. The only negative is the production, because this album could have sounded so much better had it been recorded well. Also, 'Comin' Home' sounds so much better on 'Unplugged' it's hard to take the original version seriously now. And I don't really know how an acoustic song can rock harder than the same song in electric form.

Highlights:

Got to Choose, Parasite, Hotter than Hell, Let Me Go, Rock'n Roll, Strange Ways

Lowlights:

The sludgey production that makes everything sound muffled. Or just covered in grime.

Verdict = 4 Smoking Les Pauls

KISS (1974)

40 years ago and Peter Criss already looks like he wants Gene to get the fuck away from him

So here we are at the beginning - seems like an interesting place to start. And what better way to begin than with Kiss' first album? Well, that certainly sounds like the beginning.

Needless to say, this isn't the greatest album in the world. Kiss were monsters on stage and certainly had the look, but this album shows their intial problems trying to get that energy recorded. As a result, this album falls flat and can sound a little lifeless.

That said, this album is still pretty cool. Out of the 10 tracks, 7 are considered absolute classics and at least 5 of those are still a must in the Kiss live setlist to this day. Think about that for a minute...

The only weak links would be 'Kissin' Time' (which is still kinda fun, if not incredibly cheesy) and the obvious 'Love Theme from Kiss'. I get what they were doing with both songs, trying to play up the gimmick of Kiss. But it just doesn't work. 'Love Theme from Kiss' just plods along without ever offering anything of interest. And while 'Firehouse' is amazing live, this studio version suffers from a severe lack of energy and the guitars sound like they aren't even distorted. It's kinda weird...

Am I being too harsh here?

I don't want it to sound like I don't enjoy this album, so I'll finish it with the good - just like the album does. Yes, it closes with 2 tracks that make my top 20 Kiss tunes list - '100,000 Years' and the epic 'Black Diamond'. Any complaints anyone has about this album are pretty much knocked down by those 2 songs right there. Then they take your girl and have their way with her.

It's Kiss, what else would you expect.

Oh wait I almost forgot about something... 'Deuce'. You know, that song that has opened about a million Kiss concerts and rocks everyone's socks off 99% of the time? Yeah, that's on here too.

Kiss are here!


Oh, Prime - I can't believe I'm going to write 50 of these...

Highlights:

Black Diamond, 100,000 Years, Deuce

Lowlights:

Love Theme from Kiss

Verdict = 3 Smoking Les Pauls and a Thumbs Up

Kissathon 2013

And so it began on Monday - the greatest musical marathon known to mankind!

Well, actually only the 2nd craziest I have ever done. Pretty sure my Lennonthon many years ago was crazier. And don't get me started on the problems involved in ever trying to do an Elvisthon...

Anyways, I managed to form a rather impressive playlist to do this - 545 songs all up!
The album list looks like this:

• Kiss
• Hotter Than Hell
• Dressed to Kill
• Alive!
• Destroyer
• Rock and Roll Over
• Love Gun
• Alive II
• Double Platinum
• Ace Frehley
• Gene Simmons
• Paul Stanley
• Peter Criss
• Dynasty
• Unmasked
• Out of Control  - Peter Criss
• Music from "The Elder"
• Let Me Rock You - Peter Criss
• Killers
• Creatures of the Night
• Creatures of the Night (1985 Remix)
• Lick It Up
• Animalize
• Asylum
• Frehley's Comet - Ace Frehley
• Crazy Nights
• Live+1 - Ace Frehley
• Second Sighting - Ace Frehley
• Smashes, Thrashes & Hits
• Trouble Walkin' - Ace Frehley
• Hot in the Shade
• Revenge
• Alive III
• Criss (EP) - Peter Criss
• Cat #1 - Peter Criss
• Kiss Unplugged
• Carnival of Souls: The Final Sessions
• 12 Picks - Ace Frehley
• Loaded Deck - Ace Frehley
• Greatest Kiss
• You Wanted the Best, You Got the Best!!
• Psycho Circus
• Psycho Circus - Bonus Disc
• Alive! The Millennium Concert
• Live to Win - Paul Stanley
• One for All - Peter Criss
• Anomaly - Ace Frehley
• Sonic Boom
• Monster
• Destroyer {Resurrected}

That is a total of 50 albums, though I have kinda cheated a little; where compilation albums like Smashes Thrashes and Hits and You Wanted the Best... just have songs that appear elsewhere, I have only listened to the new tracks. Except Double Platinum and Greatest Kiss. I did listen to those completely. So yeah - I make no sense... and then throw in Ace's solo track from Spacewalk somewhere too...

There was a bunch of stuff I decided to exclude because it was just repetitive. That album they did a few years ago where they re-recorded all their most popular songs using the new lineup - no way in hell was I ever bothering with that. There were a few others involving the new lineup that I just did not see the point in. The less Tommy Thayer, the better.

I've gone in a good chronological order as well, except for one album - that being Destroyer {Resurrected}. Technically, I believe it came out after Monster, but I felt after sitting through 2 albums involving Tommy Thayer meant I had to end it on a happier note. Seriously, Tommy Thayer is no way to end a Kissathon this great.

Tommy Thayer - FUCK OFF

So here we are at Thursday night and how am I doing?
Well, not that great. I had a terrible first day due to annoying meetings (apparently listening to Alive! during business meetings is not the done thing) and now I am playing a bit of catchup before tomorrow. But I should be on track to finish at the end of work tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it.

As for results, I've been a little surprised by my findings so far.
But you will have to wait a little bit longer for those...

So let's see what I think of the albums, one-by-one...

Bored? Then Listen to a Ridiculous Amount of Kiss

Because that will solve all your problems.

Not really sure why I decided this, but I have only one week of work left before a two week holiday so figured it was the perfect time to do a Kiss music marathon.

Maybe it's because Summer is starting. Maybe it's because I want to get their play count higher in my iTunes. Maybe it's because I'm in a silly mood from watching so much Chikara. Maybe it's because I'm in a frustrated mood from not watching enough Chikara. Or maybe I've just been drinking way too much Tequila lately...

But yes, starting Monday morning - Kiss music marathon. Not only that, I will be using the wonderful world of mathematics to finally decide once and for all which Kiss album is the best. I will rate each and every song as I listen to it - some for the first time in years - and also some thought on each album. Then I will report my findings back to my readers, who I am sure can't wait to find out why I think Rock'n Roll Over is infinitely better than Sonic Boom.

Spoiler alert: No Thommy Thayer on Rock'n Roll Over.

So perusing my personal collection, as well as looking at other albums I can get beforehand, here is a chronological listing of what I will be listening to (in chronological order too):

Kiss

Hotter Than Hell

Dressed to Kill

Alive!

Destroyer

Destroyer (Resurrected)

Rock and Roll Over

Love Gun

Alive II

Double Platinum

Ace Frehley

Gene Simmons

Paul Stanley

Peter Criss

Dynasty

Unmasked

Killers

Music from "The Elder"

Creatures of the Night

Creatures of the Night (1985 Remix)

Lick It Up

Animalize

Asylum

Crazy Nights

Smashes, Thrashes & Hits

Hot in the Shade

Revenge

Alive III

Kiss Unplugged

Carnival of Souls: The Final Sessions

Greatest Kiss

You Wanted the Best, You Got the Best!!

Psycho Circus

Psycho Circus - Bonus Disc

Alive! The Millennium Concert

Sonic Boom

Monster

I'm also hoping to include all the solo work of the original members as well. I'm not going to bother with anything released outside of Kiss by Vinnie Vincent, Eric Carr or Bruce Kulick. And especially not Thommy Thayer.

So far, looking at a potential 51 albums to get through. Holy cow that is a lot of music!

It isn't that bad, though, because a few are compilations where I have removed the songs I already have. Their final grading will be mathematically graded accordingly to make sense. Unlike that sentence.

This will be fun. For me. Until the second day. Then who knows who this will go?

Stay tuned...

My Rom-Com Life Idea

Girl at work is leaving the country in a few months. She needs to find a new home for her 2 cats - which are both awfully cute - and that inspired me to consider taking them in, which would lead to a great romantic-comedy movie-type scenario...

I play the role of a luckless loser that lives alone in a small shack. I see her at the supermarket and am instantly captivated by her beauty, but I'm too scared to say hello. But I notice as she's leaving she puts up something on the noticeboard - she is looking for a new home for her two cats. I take the notice and call her the next day, asking to come meet the cats. She agrees and they hit it off, but he lies and says he lives in a big house with lots of space because he doesn't want her to know he lives in such a crappy place.

So he takes in the cats and he and the girl fall madly in love, but then she wants to come visit her cats. So he has to scramble and finds a large house where the family have gone away for a couple of months, and pretends to live there with the cats. Then one day she comes to visit the cats and all is well... until the family arrive back from their holiday to discover these strangers in their home!

The guy has to come clean about lying all this time and she gets mad. Distraught by his lies, she gets on a plane and moves back to the UK. He gets depressed, until his snarky best-friend gives him some motivational speech that inspires him to go get the woman he loves.

So he jumps on a plane to the UK, tracks her down to a football game, and interrupts by taking over the giant screen in the stadium to tell her how wrong he was and how he can't live without her in a big emotional speech. The game comes to a halt as he crosses the field to be with her, but she sits there not knowing what to do. Then an elderly woman yells at her to go kiss him, some of the crowd follow suit  - as do the footballers - so she runs on to the field and into his arms. They kiss, the crowd erupts in cheers and then the footballers politely ask them to leave the field so they can resume their game.

And everyone lives happily ever after.

I'm thinking I am going to send her a link to this, with a note "This is what will happen if you leave your cats in my care". Pretty sure that's a good ice breaker.

I Have a Plan

I can’t even remember when I last bLogged…

It really is a travesty that I don’t do this anymore. For you, the reader, anyway. So to further my belief that the world needs to be a better place I would like to publicly apologise and offer my intent to bLog a bit more. I at least have one major plan in the works.

30 WrestleManias in 30 Days

I think I came up with the idea for this a couple of years ago and have been anxiously awaiting the 30th WrestleMania finally taking place next year. All this planning and anticipation has led me to constantly make changes – and it is quite likely more will come in the next 6 months. Originally I had looked at making it a full journey through March because I thought it would time nicely with WrestleMania XXX airing on 30th March (US time) and then I could find a friend with Sky whose house I could invade and watch the event live for the first time ever.

Alas, my old friends Vince McMahon and HHH must have known of my intent and decided WrestleMania XXX would be best taking place the following Sunday. Jerks.

Instead, this ridiculous viewing marathon will begin April 1st (NZ time) which happens to be the 29th anniversary of when the first one took place. That is cool. Also means I won’t have to pay lots of money so I can watch WrestleMania XXX live – even cooler (thanks, Vince). Plus I am taking half of April off work due to Easter and my birthday (which I always take off) which will make it easier to watch these long shows in the evening, instead of having to rush home and get ready and then go to bed directly after the show. Because that wouldn’t happen. And then by the end of the 30 days I would just be tired and grumpy. Especially after watching a bunch of crappy WrestleManias.

After each show I will be coming on here to write about what I have just watched, rate the matches and show, etc. Because there aren’t enough wrestling reviews out there on the internet.

Of course, Logman likes to make things more interesting/difficult for himself, so in order to approach all 30 WrestleManias with the same attitude I will view them all in the same manner; I will have the same meal, drink the same drinks, and wear the same clothes. Yes, you heard me – I am going to wear a WrestleMania logo t-shirt for the entire duration of the shows. That isn’t to say I will wear it all day every day, most likely just for the actual shows themselves. I expect by WrestleMania XXX the t-shirt will be covered in all sorts of stains and smells, but that is the price I will pay. For food, I am planning on making burgers and fries for each show. I am still undecided on drink; the last few WrestleManias I have watched while drinking Corona, but I feel being a Mexican beer it isn’t really applicable to this show and should be saved for when I am watching Lucha Libre, and there aren’t any other beers I enjoy drinking (especially American beers). Pepsi Max will most likely be the drink of choice, but please feel free to offer suggestions.

As for each WrestleMania, I don’t plan on doing a play-by-play for every match – if you want that there are a million other sites that can give you that. Plus, half of my readers really don’t care about pro-wrestling. Instead I will just make note of the key points, make fun of stuff that deserves it (like Vince McMahon’s clothing and toupees) and then offer the following awards for every show:

1. Best match
2. Worst match
3. Highlight of the Show
4. Lowlight of the Show
5. Star of the Show
6. Best Celebrity Appearance
7. Worst Celebrity Appearance
8. Meal Rating
9. T-shirt Cleanliness
10. Overall Score

Then, once all 30 have been watched and enjoyed and made fun of, I will make an overall list of awards:

1. Best Match (including the Top 3)
2. Worst Match (including the Bottom 3)
3. Favourite Moment (with Honourable Mentions)
4. Most Embarrassing Moment (with Honourable Mentions)
5. Best WrestleMania
6. Worst WrestleMania
7. Total Number of Different Wrestlers (not really an award, but screw you I think that will be interesting)
8. Number of different celebrities (see above, minus the interest)
9. Most WrestleMania Appearances by a Wrestler (including Win/Loss Ratio)
10. Mr. WrestleMania* Award for Outstanding Awesomeness

This should be fun.

I’m in the midst of trying to track down live versions of as many WrestleManias as possible, because the ones I currently have are mostly the WWE Anthology versions which all have edits to the music and commentary – and even some of the matches – and I like to be excessive about these things. I want to hear the original theme every time Demolition come to the ring!

The real fun should be some of these I’ll be seeing with fresh eyes; believe it or not, I’ve only seen the first WrestleMania once (and that was the edited Anthology version), some I have only seen once or twice, while I’ve still not seen 21 through to 25. It will make for interesting viewing. I’m actually very excited to see all the 80’s and 90’s ones again. Not so much anything after that…

Until then, I may post every so often with hilarity. But I’ve just started watching the original series of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from the start and plan to finish the last episodes of that 31st March (see what I’m doing?) and since the universe is probably going to kill me once that finishes, I am trying to make sure there are no loose ends left behind.



*Shawn Michaels likes to refer to himself as Mr. WrestleMania, as do many wrestling fans. Especially fans of Shawn Michaels. But I am going to look at win/loss records, as well as who has the best matches to finally determine who the real Mr. WrestleMania is. And it won’t be Shawn Michaels**




**Shawn Michaels is an overrated douchebag