The Zombie of WrestleMania Future taunts me...
Bah gawd, I can't believe I'm going to do this again!
I attempted to review WrestleMania 34 or whatever it was 2 years ago. I honestly tried. But it was fucking boring and reminded me of how much I fucking hate WWE. Last year I gave AEW a chance, and while Double or Nothing was one of the absolute most awesome pro-wrestling shows I've seen in years, the remainder of their work has me thinking I just don't enjoy modern pro-wrestling. It's terrible. Just a bunch of dudes and dudettes doing a bunch of planned spots before doing the next planned spot and then a bunch of predictable shit happens and it ends and the pro-wrestling fans act like it was the greatest thing in the ever. Pro-wrestling fans are stupid. Especially WWE fans; they think my reviews of the previous WrestleManias are incorrect and unfair! So I said "Fuck you, bLog of WrestleManias!" and happily ignored the last year and accepted I would never have to review one again.
And then along came COVID-19...
At first, I was like, 'OK I might consider doing this if WrestleMania gets cancelled. I'm working from home, so I have some time'. But then WWE made an announcement I couldn't possibly ignore:
WrestleMania 2020 to take place from the WWE Performance Center with NO CROWD IN ATTENDANCE.
Holy fuck that sounds like a trainwreck of bahgawdful proportions.
And I live for it.
Imagine goofs like The Miz coming out and pointing to the no one in the crowd; wrestlers killing themselves for a dangerous spot so the no one can chant "This is awesome" during their otherwise boring match; The H Bomb having a ludicrous over the top entrance so as to impress the no one in attendance.
Sadly, what that means is I need to review the last 2 WrestleManias to stay complete. I did actually prepare a draft for WrestleMania 34 - even made my flatmate watch it with me and added her comments. But I was so bored I couldn't be bothered making the gifs and doing awards. So I'm going to rewatch and then probably offer an entirely new review. Because I kinda feel adding someone else to the mix isn't consistent with the other 33 reviews I did.
WrestleMania 35 I have not seen. And I barely know anything about.
And that would also mean watching another 14 hours of WrestleMania before the embarrassment of WrestleMania 36 - so I should be in a hell of mood to mock the shit out of it!
Will your hero survive and waste another 3 days of his life writing about 21 hours of television that he doesn't enjoy? Or will he crumble under the pressure and go back to his leisurely life of cats and the 1978 Formula One World Championship?
Stay tuned to find out!
*** UPDATE ***
I just read that WrestleMania will now be taking place over two nights.
What in the actual FUCK IS THIS?!?!
How am I supposed to treat this? Still just do one day to watch the whole event or treat them as two separate entities and watch over multiple days?
I'm confused...
