The Grammy Awards Are a Steaming Pile of Attack of the Clones

I know they were a few days ago, but I just got my butt around to checking out the winners from this year's Grammy Awards (what can I say, I have a big lazy butt) and maybe I've not been keeping up to date with them for a few years now, but I couldn't believe how many amazing and well-deserved awards were given out! And it's great to see Grammy people finally recognising the greatest achievements in the music industry, with fantastic new awards like "Best Recording Package", "Best Boxed or Special Limited Edition Package" and "Best Remixed Recording, Non-Classical". Seriously, it was about time the industry started to give recognition to DJ's for re-mixing a dance version of a Coldplay song for clubs. And I was particularly moved to see a whole section of awards dedicated to Hawaiian Music, because it truly is one of the most popular and ground breaking genres in the industry today!

Also, great to see music videos play an important role in the Grammy's this year. Sure, the MTV Music Awards have recognised them for years, but it really was about time the Grammy's stopped actually being all about music and start getting hip. And good to see the Award for "Best Short Form Music Video" goes to the band themselves; sure, they may not have had to write, create, direct or even conceive the concept for the video itself, but being in it and supplying a song written & recorded months earlier sure deserves all the accolades.

And then are the winners; I don't feel the need to go over all the wise and deserving choices, such as Red Hot Chili Peppers picking most of the awards in the "Rock" section... or Madonna winning "Best Electronic/Dance Album" over Justin Timberlake... or even the majesty and unquestionable truth in John Mayer's Continuum winning "Best Pop Vocal Album"... no, I think the judgement in these awards can be summed up entirely by one award and its winner:

Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocal: ''My Humps'' - Black Eyed Peas.

With quality music like this receiving music's "highest honours", a standard for the future of music has been set. With luck, Hulk Hogan and Macho Man can patch up their differences and make an album together full of the power and emotion captured in the recordings of this year's Grammy Award winners

Rocky vs Star Wars

It's an interesting thought, but there are now the same amount of Rocky movies as there are Star Wars movies. While both do have their good points (Star Wars has spaceships, and the Rocky movies are ALL watchable), I thought it would be interesting to finally dispel the myth and prove once and for all which is the greatest film franchise – in true Rocky fashion – with a ten round battle for the championship!

Round One: Story
The Star Wars "saga" – in its simplest explanation – is the story of Anakin Skywalker and his fall (episodes 1 – 3) and his redemption (episodes 4 – 6). Now I'm not going to get into the whole argument about whether that remains true, given the changes to Return of the Jedi, but it took George Lucas 3 films to show Anakin fall, and then another 3 to chronicle his redemption… Rocky does that in EVERY FILM

First round to Rocky

Round Two: Villains
All of Rocky's opponents are very worthy and challenge him to the end, and in the process make him a better person. The only opponents in the entire Star Wars story are Stormtroopers that couldn't shoot Jabba the Hut if he was lying on top of them, and are therefore no challenge to any real Jedi. But before they came about – when technology was somehow better – there were mindless droids that just fired randomly into the deep void of space. Would have been much more impressive if they could have at least joined together to make a big super droid… but then that would have required some work on the part of Obi Wan… and probably some acting. Bottom line; villains in Rocky are awesome, villains in Star Wars are useless

Except for Boba Fett. He was cool

Second round to Rocky

Round Three: Test of Character
Rocky had the heart of a champion and the spirit of a warrior – he never quit when things got tough. Anakin cried in every movie then quit and joined the dark side. His son cried in every movie and quit his training to get his butt kicked by his cry baby quitter dad. Skywalkers are wimps; Rocky is tough

Third round to Rocky

Round Four: Weapons
Jedi's fight using lightsabers, Stormtroopers fight using guns, and the Emperor fights using big crazy lightning bolts shooting from his fingers. Rocky didn't need no weapons – and he defeated Mr. T! Again proving the point that the Jedi are wimps and Rocky is tough

Fourth round to Rocky

Round Five: Story Continuity
Rocky has phenomenal story continuity throughout all 6 movies. George Lucas has a hard enough time understanding what a story is, without worrying about making it all tie together

Fifth round to Rocky

Round Six: Locations
Rocky has real locations – he stands proudly on those steps throwing his fists in the air. And in Rocky IV he stands proudly on top of a mountain in Russia and throws his fists in the air. Star Wars has a bunch of chumps standing awkwardly in front of blue screens

Sixth round to Rocky

Round Seven: Music
The Star Wars theme is pretty cool, but the rest of the music is just typical John Williams filler. Rocky's theme is awesome, and the rest of the music ranges from orchestral score, to cheesy 80's rock like Eye of the Tiger, to MC Hammer! Much more fun than that stupid new age Yanni-type song that now ends Return of the Jedi.

Seventh round to Rocky

Round Eight: Battles
The fight scenes in Rocky are realistic, engaging and exciting. The fight scenes in the Star Wars movies contain a of bunch silly acrobatics while they run around on bits of polystyrene and leave the rest to be filled in by computers so it all ends up boring me to the point where I start throwing popcorn at little children. And don't even get me started on Episode III when the Emperor is attacking Yoda – talk about over acting! Obi Wan vs Anakin = boring; Rocky vs Apollo Creed = knockout!

Eighth round to Rocky

Round Nine…
Jar- Jar

Ninth round to Rocky

Round Ten: Making the Films
Stallone is a better film maker than George Lucas. Oh yeah, THAT JUST HAPPENED! Seriously though, the difference between the two is astounding; where Stallone tries to keep things minimal and works more on the story, Lucas just ignores any sort of writing ability and tries to make up for it by just bombarding the screen with more digital effects than a cheesy 80's pop band. And also, with Rocky 6 Stallone knew what the fans wanted and also knew he could only go down that road to stay true to the character, while Lucas tries to tell the fans what they want – and if it doesn't tie in with anything from the previous films, then he goes back and changes that too! You wouldn't see Stallone go back and replace Burgess Meredith with Hayden Christensen. I doubt Stallone would be stupid enough to hire him for anything in the first place… George Lucas cares more about marketing and merchandise than he does for ever making a real movie, and has spent the last 30 years living off the glory of one movie. So generally I have to say Stallone – in each of the Rocky movies – invokes strong performances from his cast. Apart from Dolph Lundgren; I think maybe he just got told to look tough and keep his mouth shut.


Your winner, by knockout… and the greatest movie franchise of all time…
ROCKY!!!

Rocky Corrections

After watching the Rocky movies again, I feel I must make corrections on a couple of points I make in my last blog:

Firstly, Apollo Creed discovered Rocky in a record of all registered boxers in Philadelphia. He did not know anything about Rocky, just thought the name "Italian Stallion" would catch on great with the media, and therefore was the perfect opponent, as this was only meant to be an exhibition match.

Secondly, the 'Boxing Gloves' necklace that Rocky talks about in Rocky V actually does appear in Rocky III, although it is never talked about until Rocky V. I guess it was just one of those little things that Stallone had up his sleeve to spring on us as the series rolls on.

So I guess the moral of this story is:
When watching the Rocky movies, pay close attention and you will find that they all flow together nicely

Gonna Fly Now...

Oh Rocky… our dear hero of the 70's and 80's

As most who know me are aware, I have been waiting in great anticipation for the latest in the Rocky film franchise, Rocky Balboa. And in true Logman fashion, this required a viewing of the earlier films just to get myself – and others I have managed to coerce into joining me – in the right attitude to witness what is sure to be the final chapter in this long running saga.

So with Rachel & Rochelle both eager to get to know our old pal Rocky a little better, the viewing got underway on Saturday night and has resulted in a good solid few days of Rocky watching

*please note all awards have been awarded by a judging panel consisting of myself, Rachel & Rochelle (RRL)

Rocky
If you don't know the story, it's basically about a second rate nobody boxer who gets a shot at the world champion. I think it does a really great job of character development, although at times you find yourself wanting to know something that is never explained, like how Rocky even got his title shot in the first place. Seriously, I just want to know if Apollo saw him fight, or he got recommended by someone… it just doesn't make much sense, given that he was getting kicked out of his gym and no one considered him much of a fighter. Maybe he collected a loan from someone in Apollo's camp? (Rocky was working as a tough guy for a loan shark) Anyways, I think Stallone did a great job with the script and gave one of the best performances of his career – he really built a character with him. RRL have to give this movie the awards for Best Pickup Lines, and Most Heroic Running Up Steps and Punching The Air Scene. And I love that theme song

One movie down, and I'm not thinking about re-joining the outside world… only thinking about watching more Rocky


Rocky II
Now this one I'm a little unsure of; turns out I hadn't actually seen it until the other night!!! (readers faint from over gasping). Stallone took over directing with this film, and brought with him a big stack o' cheese. We open with a replay of the end of the last film, and from there go to Rocky retiring and building a new life with his new wife, ultimately going back for a rematch and one last shot at glory. Also, I must say that the final fight between Rocky & Apollo is brutal and very well done (if not a little over the top) – Rochelle was pretty much curled up not watching because it was a bit much for her. Wimp. Rocky wouldn't have hidden; he would have trained as hard as possible so he could watch ANYTHING! This film wins the RRL awards for Best Dialogue, Best Ending and Best Fight With Apollo. And I love that theme song

Two movies down, and I'm cancelling any plans I had made for the weekend… only plans now are to watch more Rocky


Rocky III
We open with a replay of the end of the last film, and from there go to Rocky retiring and building a new life with his family, until a new opponent challenges him and Rocky goes back for a rematch and one last shot at glory. Oh baby… this one is my favourite; where else could you find Sylvester Stallone, Hulk Hogan & Mr. T fighting and talking trash all in the same movie? Only in my dreams, I'm sure. Or some sort of WWF reunion with a Rocky angle or something… no wait, that's my dreams again. And the movie kicks off with big fireworks and Eye of the Tiger – EYE OF THE freakin' TIGER!!! Not sure what else you could ask for… how about Mr. T being the baddest man on the planet, talking trash in every scene and saying his most famous line – "No I don't hate Balboa, but I pity the fool!"? this movie wins so many awards I can't even think straight, but for now RRL give it Best Trash Talking, Best End Scene of a Montage (involves Apollo & Rocky running on the beach and then hugging… very inspirational) and Best Use of Mr. T. And I love that theme song

Three movies down, and I no longer care what anyone else wants… I just want to watch more Rocky


Rocky IV
We open with a replay of the end of the last film, and from there go to Rocky building his life with his family, until a new opponent challenges him and Rocky goes into the ring to defend his title and the entire USA. Dolph Lundgren makes Stallone look like a midget in the ring, but that only makes this movie even more fun, with Rocky training in the snow and a cabin in the middle of Russia. With the whole "USA vs USSR" politics of the 80's so strong in this movie, the cheese factor gets cranked up another few notches – Rocky is now a peace activist bringing together all nations of the world. While this is the most popular among fans, I would have to knock it down for a few things; mainly, the usual theme music is replaced with cheesy 80's synth music (complete with industrial noises for the "evil" Russian)… and the lack of Mr. T… but other than that, I love it. RRL give it awards for Best Appearance of James Brown, Best Use of Flashbacks and Best Exploding Boxing Gloves Opening Titles. And I love that theme song

UPDATE: turns out the guy who did the cheesy 80's score for this also did the cheesy 80's score for Transformers: The Movie. Word to his mutha

Four movies down, and I'm wondering how I can help change the world… but for now, I'll just change the dvd and watch more Rocky


Rocky V
We open with a replay of the end of the last film, and from there go to Rocky retiring and his life going down the toilet, until he has to fight some guy in a matter of pride. This one really was the perfect ending to the series, though obviously that wasn't meant to be. The director of the first film came back for this, as did Rocky's cool outfit from the first film. And it must be said at this point that Stallone had basically dropped the whole 'dumb tough guy' act from his character in the last 2 movies – he spoke with more eloquence – but seems to have resumed it for this one. Not sure if it was something he did purposefully as a director of the others, or if they just felt it would be a result of the brain damage form his boxing… oh well. Either way, it meant he was back to his old rambling self, saying things a thousand times and never shutting up. And there were way too many flashbacks that had been filmed for this movie; such as Mickey giving Rocky this lucky necklace, which I'm sure we should have heard about somewhere in the last 4 movies if it was so special. So very 'Autobot Matrix of Leadership' (for those without an education in Transformer History, the Matrix of Leadership turned up in the Transformers Movie, rising from Optimus Prime's chest – even though there had been no mention of said Matrix in the 65 episodes of the show leading up to the movie, and we had seen Optimus' chest open on many occasions during this time. But that's for another time). Still, as I said before, this would have been a great way to end the franchise and RRL still give it awards for Best Random Naked Opening Shot and Best Line Before a Fight. And I love that theme song

UPDATE: I just realised that there are 2 MC Hammer songs in this movie. It is now officially very cool

Five movies down, and I'm pretty much finished with the outside world… unfortunately, I've also pretty much finished the Rocky movies


Rocky VI
I call it that because I think it looks crazier.
Anyway, this time we open with a whole bunch of clips from the previous films and then go to Rocky as he lives his life as an old man, before the call of the boxing ring gets too strong and he takes on the champ for one last shot at glory. I'm going to come right out and say it; this movie ROCKS! Stallone gave a great performance, and for a dude his age he got into pretty good shape by the end. He really plays up the whole angle of Rocky being the greatest humanitarian ever, and shows us how we too can make a difference in this world, if we would only show some love and kindness to others without asking for anything in return. But seriously, the cheese factor here is pretty much at optimal levels – not too much, not too little… just right. I actually think this is Stallone's best work as a writer and while he develops other characters well, you really have so much sympathy and love for Rocky it's almost annoying. I dare you to go see this movie and NOT cheer for Rocky at the end. Was so good in fact, I have to say it stole a few awards from some of the earlier movies, including Best Pickup Lines and RRL award it Best Recycled Line, Best Arrangement of Theme, Best Heart-warming Family Scene and Best Random Speech That Pretty Much Made No Sense At All. And I love that theme song

All six movies down, and I'm ready to trade in my friends… Rocky is the only friend I will ever need


So if you haven't seen Rocky Balboa – or any other Rocky movies – then contact me and I'm sure my positive Rocky training will get you fired up and ready to see the world in a whole new light. And as I finish this blog with the theme from Rocky playing, I throw my fists in the air and look over the city knowing I am giving it my all and no one can stop me… Eye of the tiger, baby
Man I love that theme song


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