To the NZ Media, Sporting Communities and General Public:

Domestic violence is NOT acceptable, and the more you continue to praise and support a man who has admitted to beating he his former girlfriend, the more you make his actions seem insignificant. All people should be allowed justice and forgiveness, but this man has done everything in his power to avoid the justice system and until he is actually made to face up to his crimes, you should be reserving this unconditional love and support you all throw so willingly at at a man who has shown nothing but cowardice.

Is this really want we want to teach our children? That it is OK to beat your partner and then bribe her to avoid any police involvement? And then when things go wrong you should run into the woods threatening to kill yourself so your lawyers can get the trial delayed? Twice?

There is a reason Wrigley's have suspended all their advertising involving Chris Brown.

I am sick of hearing about Tony Veitch. Being involved with rugby is no excuse for what he has done; and until he can be a Man and stop crying, stop delaying this trial and just plead guilty and take whatever justice he deserves, he does not deserve to be on television feeling more important than the low-life that he truly is.

Shoot. Me. Now.

Sure - sensational headlining that isn't really followed up anything major. But the statistics make me sad that people's priorities are this out of wack.

Sky TV finds recession easier than All Blacks losing

Russell Crowe + Ridley Scott = Retarded

I have respect for Ridley Scott; the man has done some great sci-fi films.

Unfortunately for him, Robin Hood is not a science fiction character.

I just finished reading this interesting interview with Ridley Scott. And by interesting, I mean not really; it's basically the usual yawn-ish arrogance from a Hollywood director, who is then asked about the upcoming production of Robin Hood (original title there). Now my gripe with this film since I first heard about it was of course that the awesome Russell Crowe was cast as Robin himself. I don't think I've liked Crowe in anything since he did that budget Australian film where he played a gay man that put his life on hold to look after his sick father (I can't remember the name right now. Sue me. Or disconnect my internet - just say I have infringed on your copyright and laugh all the way home. Unless you are already home; then just laugh your way to the couch or something)... where the hell was I? Oh yeah - I can't stand Russell Crowe. I don't even begin to understand the stupidity of casting the man as Robin Hood - it's actually making Kevin Costner look good right now. When he was supposed to be doing both parts, I did kind of see him as the Sheriff of Nottingham, but oh well...

But now Ridley Scott is saying crazy stuff like: '“Robin Hood is in the army of Richard Coeur de Lion,” he said of how we’ll find the character early in the film “He is a bowman in the army of Richard Coeur de Lion.”' And then there is that whole thing about the French being the villains...

So not only is this rogue a big ugly doofus, but he's in the army? And battling the French? Even a 5 year-old with access to Wikipedia could tell him that stories of Robin Hood actually show him to be from around the 14th or 15th Century - despite Scott going on to give us a history lesson that shows he about as much understanding of this era as Oliver Stone does of Alexander the Great, meaning they've probably read the same encyclopedia written by Donald Rumsfeld (you know, the one that also omits how the US were responsible for putting their dreaded nemesis Saddam Hussein in power in the first place. They didn't realise he wasn't a REAL American!)

Considering the awesomeness that this movie will possess, here some others they could cast to take the film to that 'blockbuster' position that it deserves:



Scott 'Big Poppa Pump' Steiner as 'Little' John

It's been a while since he of the negative percent body-fat has appeared on my blog, but who better to play the role of Robin's right-hand man? I can just hear him shouting at Robin now - "ROBIN HOOD! YOU 'N ME... GONNA GIT THIS RICH BASTARDS... AND GO FOR SOME ACTION WITH... WITH MAH FREEK, MAID MARION... HOLL A IF YA HEAR ME!!!" Plus he has his own medieval head-dress already.
And he hates France

Ben Stein as Friar Tuck

With Ridley Scott's blistering historical knowledge, he will be looking to cast this film in the most accurate manner. And what says 'Friar' better than a weedy old Jewish creationist who used to write speeches for Richard Nixon?

Hood?... Hood?... Hood?...

Judge Dredd as The Sheriff of Nottingham

The role may be a lot less important to Ridley Scott, but he will still need to be an authoritative character nonetheless, and Judge Dredd has authority stamped all over his helmet (it's on the inside - that's why you can't see it). Plus his outfit is weird - just a like French person! Probably gets all the ladies too, the bastard...

See?
You don't need to be a Hollywood director to make a movie look stupid.

The World Loves a Moron

First off, all those fans of The Killers I read on Stuff are full of crap; they all were saying how canceling the concert means they will no longer be fans and they are going to sell all their CDs on Trade Me But so far, no one has listed any. Doesn't matter to me as I have them all, but you people should have damn principles and do what you say you are going to do!

Secondly, this auction proves how stupid people can be, as while a large quantity of the bids are about half an hour after The Killers made their announcement (which I blame on a pre-existing auto-bid - I am willing to cut them a little slack), the current winning bid was made almost 3 hours later!

In saying that, if the guy bought the ticket from an actual outlet and NOT on the internet, the winning buyer would be able to take the ticket back to Ticketek and make a good $50 on the refund.

Either way, somebody is stupid.

I Feel Your Pain, Joaquin

My sideburns have been pretty itchy today.
But it's not a nervous tick. It's just them eating my face.

You said “And it's so cold - It's like the cold if you were dead” And then you smiled… For a second

After the mad fun that is always my Kiss phase (which seems to have become an annual Summer tradition to replace my old punk tradition of starting Summer with The Living End's first album), I have hit the 'come down' part which has resulted in one of my favourite phases. Yes, The Cure are back.

More importantly, Disintegration is back.

In fact, it has been so long since I last listened to this album that I feel kind of like I am re-discovering it. And at the same time, the moment the grandiose synth and pulsing bass of Plainsong hit my ears I felt like I was home again - which isn't that surprising considering I basically listened to this album for 9 months straight in 2005 (along with Wish and Pornography - which I will also listen to later).

I'm not going to write too much about this, other than there are 12 reasons this is my favourite album (least of all not being the epic Prayers for Rain which I am currently enjoying, nor the ever incredible Disintegration with its spiralling lyrics and such driving musicality that the song could have lasted another 10 minutes and I still would not tire of the one bass riff and Boris' heart-drilling beat. I've even gotten better at picking the end!).

This album is well worth the headache I am going to get.

But it does beg the question: if this album is the result of Robert Smith's depression about his impending 30th birthday, what the hell does that mean I am in store for next year? I can understand his view that most great artists produce their best work before they turn 30 - in fact, when I was studying film and dreaming of being a director, I felt my real goal was to direct my first film before I turned 30, and I am currently a little concerned that I am yet to finish even my first album - meaning my best are a couple of years off completion (my first is by no means close to being my best, but my OCD compels me to record everything in order of creation. [Homesick is just winding back - forgot how beautiful Roger O'Donnell's playing is in this. The man is a great keyboardist and I wish he was still in the band]. And this isn't for a lack of wanting to get them done - believe me, if I could find a dang Avantone CV12 again I would be purchasing it and getting right back to work. But I guess as it stands now, the completion date of December 1st 2009 will have to stand. Hopefully I will then get number 2 finished before my 30th (though I still can't remember the awesome title I had thought of back in 2002... I know it had something to with Jet Li in a round about sort of way - like a play on the title of one of his films. And I'm saving Zombie Street Fight for Star Guitar's release). Of course, I say some of this in jest, as there is no way I could see me feeling like Robert Smith next year - I won't be consuming the amount of drugs he was at the time, and I'm not in a very popular band that sells millions of records and sells out concerts worldwide.

Aaaaaahh the final accordion notes of Untitled.
So long Disintegration. May we meet again later today - perhaps if I get all my work done, I will revisit the album and make a proper blog about you. You deserve it, old friend.

If it is cold and dreary where you are, I recommend finding a copy of that album and giving it a very solid listen. Anyone who can't understand the epic brilliance of Pictures of You is not someone who should be bothering to read my blogs.

ooooooooh yeah - Open. Simon's bass is so kick ass.
Wish is pretty cool. Apox on The Cure fans who say otherwise. Sure, the lyrics aren't overly great... but that is for another blog sometime.

This is Why I Should Never Get My Hopes Up

So my tickets arrived for The Killers... I gave my boss his 2 this morning... and then The Killers cancel the concert and reschedule the one in Auckland.

Guess how much swearing is happening right now in my head?

Too Quick to Judge?

In a minor update, it would seem I gave some Christchurch residents even more credit than they deserved: This morning on my way to work, not only did I see more green recycling bins next to the new yellow bins (and in my area as well - so not even on the right day) but one resident had the great idea of using the old green bins for recycling and then filling their yellow bin with rubbish.

How do you people even remember how to breathe?

No wonder we have a Prime Minister who can't even walk down stairs.

ABBA Were Right

No Pay Rise For MPs

I like that they waited until after they received their latest pay rise to do this. And I am especially impressed with John Key's attitude; I guess if I was earning more than even the Australian Prime Minister, I wouldn't want to miss out on a pay-rise next year either. Hopefully the tax-rebate he gets from those 'generous charitable donations' that he brags about will make up for it this year.

Yr City's a Sucker...

Sometimes I wonder how much of colossal mistake it was to move to Christchurch; I mean sure, I got a free trip to Brisbane thanks to it, but otherwise I am often plagued by the decisions I have made whilst living in Christchurch that completely go against the personal and moral principles that I have developed over the last 29 years.

And Cantabrians are fucking stupid.

You see, at least the temporary abandonment of my socialist/anti-establishment attitudes that resulted in me trying to conform to bullshit propaganda that I hold so dearly in contempt has helped reinforce my original beliefs - and given me new reasons to laugh at right-wing religious nuts. That I can live with, and I am sure I will forgive myself in time. But the people of Canterbury... goddammit, sometimes they just make me weep for their future as a society. And nothing sums it up better than all the drama surrounding the new recycling system.

So let's take it from the top: last year the council announced the current rubbish bags/green recycling bin system was to be replaced with 3 different large wheelie bins. I didn't care at first, but upon closer investigation I saw the benefits - New Zealand is light years behind other parts of the world when it comes to recycling and it is about time we stepped up our game. But how did the general population of Christchurch react? Why, with complete disgust of course! For the last 6 months, The Press has been filled with articles regarding the system and constant letters complaining about various aspects - people have nowhere to put these bins and the majority find the whole thing confusing. Because, you know, 3 different coloured bins for your 3 different types of waste is a pretty radical concept!

Now as much as I bitch about how corrupt the Christchurch City Council are - and they most surely are - I think they have gone about the changes to the waste management very well; they sent out a large pamphlet with all the information on the bins and what type of waste goes in which, the sort of things you can recycle, and a calendar for collections . They even got the new recycling bins out months before the changeover and taped over the lids with a great big sticker that read "DO NOT USE UNTIL THE WEEK BEGINNING 2nd FEBRUARY 2009". So not only is it clear you start using it in February, but you also had a good couple of months to find out if your collection day had changed. And I can't count how many times the council advertised that the little green bins would no longer be collected once collection had started with the new bins (you know - 2nd February).

The week beginning 2nd February was of course last week. And what happened? People got confused and put out their green bins. And complained when they weren't collected. Most of the people in my area actually put their new yellow bins out on Monday - even though our collection is and has always been Wednesday. And my laughter at the public's inability to comprehend any form of change led to a rather telling conversation with a very lazy/snobbish Cantabrian (and for the record, we are talking someone approaching 40 here):

Me: "It's a great new system"
Fool: "Oh no it isn't - it's really confusing! Why give me a bin if I'm not supposed to use it? And how am I supposed to know when to use it?"
Me: "It says on the top that it started this week"
Fool: "Yes, but why won't they collect the green bins now? And there's all these new rules about your recycling..."
Me: "Like what?"
Fool: "Well, now you're supposed to rinse your recycling before you put it in the bin"
Me: "You should have been doing that all along, actually..."
Fool: "Well I'm not going to wash things - why should I have to wash out my cans? I'm just going to put them in the rubbish bin from now on - save the hassle"
Me: "How is that a hassle? Just run them under a tap and clean them out a bit-"
Fool: "Why should I have to wash the cans for my cat food? They're so smelly and yuk!"
Me: "!?!?!?!?"

The conversation did actually go on further, where we discussed why she was happy to have a bin for her rubbish because she refuses to handle dirty smelly rubbish bags. But to make this even funnier, this was someone who had just moved to a very posh area that isn't actually a part of the Christchurch City Council and therefore their rubbish WON'T EVEN BE COLLECTED BY THEM!!!


You wacky Cantabrians and your wacky logic - who needs common sense, eh?


To quote James Murphy, "Yr city's a sucker, my city's a creep"

If You TRULY Believe This

Pastor blames abortions for bushfires

Then you, sir, are a complete jackass and obviously did not lose anyone or anything in those fires. Any god that chooses to destroy the lives and cause incredible suffering for hundreds of creatures - humans and animals - most certainly won't be getting any praise and worship from me.

Who in the Dark Blue Hell is Jeremy Clarkson?

And why does he have to be on every single book and DVD I see???

The man should at least get a decent hairstyle if he plans on having so much public exposure...