Who's Next?

Not Goldberg, that's for sure.

But I need to start another marathon, and possibly something I can make fun of at the same time so I can bring the humour back to this bLog. It is lacking in humour. STOP STEALING ALL THE HUMOUR

So I was considering a few movie marathons, like Jet Li or Godzilla. Because those are things that need to be done in life regardless. Kissathon failed but I could do it again - and this time just focus on making fun of the albums.

Any ideas, please feel to leave a comment.

Random Thoughts from a Ryan Adams Marathon: Day 8

The Shit continued

* Slef Portrait seems to be a concept album around killing someone and needing to go to the hospital

* The Movie is the best. Like, I could listen to this a lot more. KING FUCKING KONG!!!

Back to Ryan Adams (and The Cardinals)
 

* Riffage is quite nice little instrumental tracks

* Easy Tiger is another album that gets a bad rap and I don't get. I really like the fact that it is a kind of diverse album instead of sticking to one style. But then I think most of the people complaining are people that just want Ryan Adams doing alt. country like Whiskeytown or Heartbreaker. I like other music so I'm fine. The Sun Also Sets is one of my favourite songs. LOVE the end harmonies.

* Easy Tiger Rarites are interesting and actually fit with the overall sound of Easy Tiger, but mostly because Easy Tiger is so diverse. Strange to have Lovely and Blue on here called France but be the exact same song found later on III

* Curtain of Light (Live at the Avatar Studios) is a live in-studio performance of the Easy Tiger album that was done as some sort of promo tool. And it is quite good. Mostly because I like Easy Tiger. And the random garbage Ryan Adams yells inbetween songs is hilarious (like "STAB ME IN THE FUCKIN EYE WITH THE... FUCKIN... EMPIRE STATE BUILDING". The version of These Girls on here is flat out insane. And I Taught Myself How To Grow Old contains one of the greatest guitar solos on the planet. Ending with 2 tracks from Cold Roses is certainly odd, but Magnolia Mountain is pretty darn awesome here so I'll let it slide.

* III/IV were recorded around this time, so I've put them here instead of later when they were actually released. Listening in this order they actually almost fit with the theme of earlier. Some of these tracks were used for the various internet artists, as well as the Elizabethtown/Darkbreaker sessions. I mostly prefer these versions. Wasteland is one of my most favourite songs these days. III is pretty good, but I actually really like IV. It rocks. Thinking about it now, this actually should have gone before Easy Tiger. Oops.

* Follow the Lights is a really nice chill out kind of EP. The versions of This Is It and Dear John are really awesome. I'd really like to write a song like Blue Hotel... Oh wow, I totally forgot there is an awesome version of If I Am A Stranger on here as well. Damn.

* Cardinology is great. Again, undeserved bad rap for this album. Some awesome songs, some kinda average, but not bad by any stretch.

* Cardinology Rarities are quite fun. Memory Lane is a very nice song... Asteroid is rockin'. I need to find out what this version of Fix It is, because it is crazy cool.

* Dear Impossible Foggy Mountain is just a bunch of meaningless demos. Nothing to see here...

* Class Mythology however, is very compelling. Your Name Is On Fire is a fantastic song. Neat acoustic numbers.

* Destroyers has a really cool bridge

* The Blue Canoe probably could have been good

* Fortress of the Spider God is a pleasant instrumental...

* The Pax-Am Singles are mostly great. A couple of re-recorded songs, some cool acoustic demos, and awesome songs like Disco Queen and People Need Sunlight. Is cool to see this series return (see end of marathon).

* Orion is a sci-fi metal concept album. I've been dying to hear this... and I am not disappointed - just as hilariously fun as I expected. Even includes a new mix of Fire & Ice, which will now get played more than the Warren Peace version.

* This Is 40 Soundtrack contains 2 live songs; Lucky Now, which seems to contain some pedal steel guitar that isn't in the studio version (which we'll get to next album, I think), and Shining Through the Dark which I don't think is available elsewhere - would love to hear a studio version of this. Great songs. And best parts of that movie by far.

* Ashes & Fire is sort of a return to that 'roots' sound, I guess. I think it was just his hearing problems forced him to strip back the sound. Mostly great songs like the title track and Lucky Now (which is just downright brilliant) except some songs I couldn't even tell you how they go 3 years later. That's not exactly a great thing.

* Ashes & Fire Extra Tracks are really good. Darkness is incredible.

* Empty Room/Nutshell are both very good, though I would take the original Alice In Chains recording of Nutshell over this any day

* Wasted Years is downright incredible. Still blows my mind.

* Vampire Weekend Covers are just kinda fun. I don't know the originals so don't really care too much.

* 1984 is the first in the renewed 7" series. And it kicks all kinds of ass all over the fucking world. 11 songs, 12 minutes long. Just so much motherfuckingawesomeness. Rats In The Wall is my number one song right fucking now. Yes I am excited by this THAT MUCH

* Ryan Adams is the latest album. This is my first listen. Really like the first and last songs. Couldn't tell you much more than that right now. Something about this reminds me of Pearl Jam when they started making albums like No Code and all their fans decided it was boring. I'm not complaining, because No Code still stands as my favourite Pearl Jam album. Not saying this is my new favourite album but you get what I'm saying. Or not. Talk to me about your problems...

And there we have it - the marathon is...

Wait, what?

* Jacksonville is the next 7" single released on iTunes. I JUST MADE NO SENSE BECAUSE THAT IS 3 DIGITAL COMPUTER FILES NOT A 7 INCH RECORD. Anyways, this is way more like classic alt country Ryan Adams, though still with the low voice. And then Mr. Walkedypants is just hilarious. Though is he actually insulting John Lennon? DON'T MAKE ME PICK A SIDE!!!

So there we go. 1034 songs listened to. And I didn't get bored, probably because it is mostly different songs and styles. That is why I enjoy the music of Ryan Adams so much. Not sure why these turned into mini reviews , but whatever. It's my job and I will waste time how I want.

I might do this again and compare my thoughts.
Until, I'll be sitting in the corner listening to Honky Tonk Ba-Donkey Kong very loudly on repeat.

Random Thoughts from a Ryan Adams Marathon: Day 7

Time for the insanity that is the website exclusive 'artists'...
(Feel free to ask for an explanation)

Sad Dracula

* Let It B-Minus is quite good. Very 'Replacements' style and decent quick little tracks.

* Fasterpiece is even better. Like, a really cool album

Ghetto Birds

* The Dunes is bizarre... like, I don't even know what this was supposed to be. Bizarre song titles, vocals I can barely hear or distinguish, lots of acoustic guitar. Kinda dreamy? But not in the Jason Priestley way.

Were Wolph

* The Meat Won't Listen is kind of metal. Metal mixed with hilarity. Like songs called Skeletons are Basically Awesome as Hell. I think that sums this up nicely.

* Feel the Lazer is even better. Evil Weekend is legit awesome and the great ballad Dead People Unite and Take Over is... great? Also of note is Ben & Matt - an ode to Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. Pink is Not Your Colour contains possibly the greatest metal lyrics of all time: "Just like Nostradamus/Only drunk and can't tell the future"

Rhoda Ro

* Khaki Time Portal is what you expect from a muppet and a cat making music on Garageband and being processed through a 15 watt guitar amp

Warren Peace

* War & Peace is another really good album. Fire & Ice is actually one of my most played songs in iTunes. Possibly due to the fact that my iTunes library now only dates back to late last year... but whatever.

DJ Reggie

* A Reginald Gangster is a fine collection of world-class hip-hop tracks. And by world-class, I mean incredibly ridiculous. I think instead of picking out songs I may just single out great lyrics, like "I'm the best motherfucker to talk about rabies"

* Holla Dayz Inn is more of the same. Except more songs end with "DJ Reggie 2006" and we get some philosophical discussion on the holiday experiences of a robot (who is then chased by a bongo player)?

* Song Destroyer has a great song about Moonlighting. Yes, 80s TV show Moonlighting.

* 4:20/20 is... well... almost exactly the same as the previous albums. Except I am yet to find a single track that interests me at all. Seriously, there is only so much entertainment the same strings samples and beats loops can provide when mixed with distorted vocals. Though at least there is a song about Star Wars on this one. Called Autumn in New York. Yup, that is how much sense this all makes.

* East Side Story is admittedly quite enjoyable. Mainly for great tracks like Return of the Ninja, which is just a quick half-review of a movie called Return of the Ninja. Plus Shake Your Dictionary and Kick Em in the Dungeon. Line of the album = "Last time it was thesaurus time I fell off my Brontosaurus tryin' to rhyme"

* Snapz the Clown brings back the unlistenable noises. By Prime, I think my ears are going to hate me forever for this.

* 1980 x 1000 is better. Again, fun songs about dinosaurs, Dracula and wooden underwear. I Am Alone is probably the most hilarious DJ Reggie song of them all - I can't even begin to list the humorous lyrics. Though I was particularly fond of the following from Bugs:"I had a bad day part 2, which means I had a bad day tomorrow"

* Hip-Hop Breaker - wait, this isn't over yet??? By Prime, DJ Reggie just won't leave me alone!

The Shit

* The Shit was super quick. And just silly hillbilly songs that lasted like a minute each.

* This Is Shit is the first just straight up punk album. It is reletively fun. The Chuck Norris intros make for a bit of interestingness. Oh wait, HERE COME THE ROOSTER CALLS! Rats is damn fucking cool. YAY THE SHIT!

* Hillbilly Joel is more hillbilly nonsense and introduces us to David Livingstone. MORE ROOSTERS!!! Good times

* General Ulysses S. Hospital is a nice mix of weird noises and punk rock and insanity. GRIM REAPER SANDWICH SHOP!!! Buddah VS Jesus is one of the most important songs in rock'n roll history...

* Holy Shit is a good mix of religious music... laced with references to King Kong and Tim Robbins. Makes me want to go to Bible School with my big gun. Oh shit - JIMMY HACKEYSACK!!!

* Christmas Apocalypse part 2 is possibly the most nuts of them all. From Trent Reznor's xmas tale, to Jacque Cousteau battling Jimmy Hackeysack, this is just mayhem and hilarity in a big xmas ball. WHISTLES!!! "Can I borrow a millionty bucks?" A lot of punching in the nuts going on at xmas time... Something tells me his math is quite off in this album as well.

* ...Hits The Fan is back to hard out crazy punk rock with crazy lyrics, lots of whistles and roosters. Probably some punching in the nuts as well I may have missed.

843 songs down

Random Thoughts from a Ryan Adams Marathon: Day 6

* Jacksonville City Nights was an album I really didn't like when I first heard it. Now it is one of my favourites; it is probably his most fully realised 'concept' albums, I guess (the concept being to make a total country album that doesn't sound terrible). Even Norah Jones is surprisingly not terrible on Dear John, a seriously awesome song.

* Jacksonville City Nights Rarities are all awesome. Like, this could have been a double album easy. Though it does feature a few double-ups; this has an more 'electric' version of September (which makes it strangely upbeat, apart from the epic guitar solo), an electric version of A Kiss Before I Go, and then both acoustic and electric versions of What Sin Replaces Love. I couldn't tell you which is better because both are great. And as for Always on My Mind (yes, the Elvis son) well... yeah, that is gold.

* 29 is a strange beast; probably the most average album by Mr. Adams, apart from 3 songs - one of which is one of his absolute best. Yes, I am talking about Elizabeth, You Were Born to Play That Part.

* Darkbreaker just never does it for me. I realise in Ryan Adams fandom circles this is the stuff of legend, but I actually prefer the finished tracks that were released. Some seriously impressive random songs, though, like Everything Dies.

* Look Who Got a Website (Dotcom Mother Fucker). Serious. If you can't enjoy that song then you shouldn't even be reading my blog.

591 songs down

Random Thoughts from a Ryan Adams Marathon: Day 5

* In some ways, Rock'n Roll is actually my favourite Ryan Adams album. Now let's see how many times I say that in this marathon... 1974 stands as some of the coolest damn lyrics on the planet, and The Drugs Aren't Working is a glorious rock'n roll song. Hypnotixed is a bonus track but for some reason just makes the album even better. People hate this album. People are stupid.

* The Rock'n Roll B-Sides are generally madly inferior to the rest of the album and laced with far more of a classic 80s New Wave feel than the album. Except Red Lights. That song owns.

* Love is Hell is one of those albums that I did not like at first but now consider to be great. Maybe at first I just found it too long? Because it really is too long. Maybe the whole 2 EP format was actually a good idea for this album. Though I am listening to everything back-to-back so it really wouldn't matter right now anyways.

* Love is Hell Rarities is interesting; some good songs, some weird songs, and then a great song that ended up on Jacksonville City Nights in a much greater form.

* Black Clouds is supposedly how the album was originally conceived - including a few songs from Rock'n Roll. Some diffrerent mixes as well keeps it interesting.

* Love is Hell: The New York Sessions. Yeah. I'm kind of ready to move on from Love is Hell now, thanks.

* Cold Roses is a near flawless album.

* The Cold Roses Rarities don't seem like they are even from the same sessions. Like, only one song sounds like it was recorded at the same time - the rest sound like demos from The Patty Duke Syndrome or something.

542 songs down!

Random Thoughts from a Ryan Adams Marathon: Day 4

* Monday Night is a really neat song. Doesn't fit on any album, admittedly.

* Lovesick Blues doesn't do much for me at all.

* In My Time of Need is quite a nice chill out track. Again, can see why it didn't make the cut for any other album.

* 48 Hours is basically the best album Ryan Adams has done but not released. Flawless. Karina easily makes my top 5 Ryan Adams songs.

* Cowboy Technical Sessions is some interesting acoustic tracks. Followed by some random made screaming.

* The Pinkheart Session part 2 is probably cooler than part 1. Mainly because this version of Candy Doll has a rockin' saxophone solo - something missing from music these days. Remember when awesome 50s and 80s stuff all had saxophone? I should start a band and get someone in on saxophone...

* The Stockholm Sessions are actually some very solid songs. Totally raw, but man...

* The Finger: We Are Fuck You is an hilarious antedote to the musings of the previous album. Not RA's best punk work by a long shot, but that is mainly due to the singer having a voice I don't particularly dig.

* Demolition is a testament to how foolish Lost Highway were. Don't get me wrong, the songs on here are fantastic, but being such a clash of styles just makes it sound like a bunch of demos and such. I would have rather had 48 Hours, The Suicide Handbook, etc instead.

441 songs down.
 

Random Thoughts fom a Ryan Adams Marathon: Day 3

* Heartbreaker is the stuff of legend.

* The Q Division Demos are quite neat. Gimme Sunshine is such a neat little number and this also features a totally slow version of Rescue Blues. Plus a song called IdiotsRule the World.

* The Pinkheart Sessions part 1 is much better than I remember. Plus it contains his version of Around the World, where Ryan Adams just makes fun of the Red Hot Chili Peppers for 2 minutes. Hilarious stuff.

* The Suicide Handbook is fantastic. I think it would have been interesting had this been released instead of Gold. The songs that ended up on that album just sound so incredibly different.

* Gold gets a bad rap from Ryan Adams fans, but it remains a genuine classic to me. How can anyone diss an album that starts with New York New York? And yes, I'm well aware of the issues people have. Strangely, they are the exact reasons I love this album and always will.

* Fool's Gold is such a mixed bag. One day I will compile Gold to match the full double album and seperate these tracks that way.

355 songs down.

Random Thoughts from a Ryan Adams Marathon: Day 2

* A Stranger is Born is basically just Those Weren't the Days but in worse quality

* Forever Valentine features some seriously good stuff. Massive thumbs up for this.

* Stranger's Almanac has some serious moments of awesome. When people ask me of the goodness Whiskeytown have to offer, I will mash this album in their face.

* The Complete Fucker Demos is misleading. This sounds like a well produced album, not dislike something Ryan Adams would have released around 2007. Coolness.

* B-Sides and Rarities contains some good songs for sure. I Hope it Rains at My Funeral contains some seriously George Harrison-esque slide guitar.

* Pneumonia is just a straight up phenomenal album. Just a pure joy to listen to and an awesome way to end the Whiskeytown section.

* Destroyer is not a cover of the same-named album by Kiss. That's a real shame.

* Exile on Franklin St has some serious hilarity to it. Weird versions of songs that would become great plus just straight up weird songs. Interesting.

271 songs down.

Random Thoughts from a Ryan Adams Marathon: Day 1

* Blank Label is lame.

* Kotten is OK but I seem to forget anything about the music as soon as it finishes.

* Patty Duke Syndrome is seriously good. Somewhat similar to the rocking stuff Ryan Adams makes now. Must remember to listen to this more often.

* Exile on Daisy Street... lots of just... dirge? I don't know. You know when you go to a bar and the band playing are really pretentious and think they are playing like super progressive indy rock including 10 minute jams on the same boring chords? That is what these recordings are. 19 year-old Ryan Adams needed a punch in the face and someone to boo him off stage.

* The Skylarks is pretty much the same just shorter songs and better audio quality.

* The Space Madness Sessions is again more of the same. Ryan Adams obviously liked grunge a lot in the early 90s. However, the few tracks with a slight country influence are darn fun and would have been great if he revisted them with Whiskeytown (probably did - I haven't looked ahead to check).

* 1994 Solo Recordings is probably one of the most country things he's ever done, possibly due to the completely stripped back nature. Good stuff. Better recordings would be fun.

* it segued nicely into Rural Free Delivery, the first proper Whiskeytown recordings. Good straight up alt. country goodness

* Faithless Street is an album I never search out to listen to, however it must be noted it is awesome. Despite Ryan Adams' fake southern accent.

* The Freightwhaler Sessions are Whiskeytown with a bit less countryness and no fake Southern accent. Not bad things.

* Drunken Confessions is interesting. Listening to this you can kinda just picture some rednecks sitting around with instruments in their lounge making music. Not that DRA is a redneck at all, but by Prime that fake Southern accent makes him sound like one. Kinda think that is the point of it. Steal a Car is a mighty nice song.

* Those Weren't the Days is a top notch collection of quieter tunes. Like Ashes & Fire 20 years before it would exist. Further Down the Road is pure class and 10 Second Til the End of the World is just fantastic. Actually, this is really good. I'm guessing most of it can be found on Stranger's Almanac, which I will probably get to tomorrow.

115 songs down.

End of an Era

10 years ago, I told myself and the universe that I could not leave this Earth without watching every episode of the original series of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

And that day has finally come.

When I was 8 years old, the show first aired on NZ television. It instantly became a hit with myself and my friends - including four of us taking the names and playing 'ninja turtles' at lunch times. I taped as many episodes off the television that I could and watched them over and over again. It really was THE show that defined my childhood more than any other; more than WWF Superstars of Wrestling, more than The A-Team, and more than Parker Lewis Can't Lose (though that more likely defines 12-year old LOGMAN). I'm pretty sure it stopped airing on NZ television around 1992 or 1993, so there were many episodes I had never seen. Getting the chance to watch them all was a genuine goal of mine. As sad as that seems to sound to many, I don't care. This was my show.

So how did it feel to watch every episode some 25 years later?
To be honest, a mixed bag.

The episodes I loved as a kid were still awesome. Seasons 5, 6 & 7 certainly had their high points as well. But things like someone other than 'Uncle Phil' James Avery doing the voice of The Shredder often halted my enjoyment of an episode. The European Vacation side-season was all-round awful. So much awful. But the good out-weighed the bad more often than not.

Except for season 9. The introduction of Carter, the human boy/young man that mutated with metal and saved the TMNT on average of 1.8 times per episode just drove me nuts. Getting rid of the mighty Shredder is one thing, but then making the TMNT mutate into weird super mutants and still need a human to save them twice an episode just defeats the purpose of the entire show.

David Wise, I love you. But that was seriously the stupidest nonsense you have ever written. Even Kremzeek was better.

The other sad part to the last 3 seasons was the supreme lack of pizza. Not once did they partake in pizza with me. That made me sad.

Overall, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will still remain my favourite cartoon series. But I have to admit now that The A-Team has surpassed it in terms of being my favourite TV show. However, I am glad to have finally watched every episode and will no doubt do it again, so long as the universe doesn't take me up on my offer from 10 years ago.

Next up on the viewing list is the mighty Gundam serials; I have just started on the original Japanese classic, Mobile Suit Gundam and plan to watch every episode of every different series (but have no set timeline for this). The year of Transformers is also coming, but I'll save that for another post...

LOVE GUN (1977)

All the women gathered to hear the ponderings of the great philosophers...

Spoiler Alert:
This album is good.

I don't even know where to start. Maybe the start of the album? Would that make the most sense?
'I Stole Your Love' is probably the 2nd best opening track Kiss have ever done - as much attitude as B.A. Baracus, and a duelling guitar solo as well! More please... 'Christine Sixteen' is Gene being the dirty old man he is and singing about picking up a school girl or something - doesn't matter, because that song is really cool. 'Got Love For Sale' is probably the biggest unappreciated gem in the entire Kiss catalog. It has so much groove and coolness, yet people seem to forget it exists. Listen to it once and you'll be hooked like me. Or I'll hook your face with a pointy guitar!

'Shock Me' is the first Kiss song with Ace singing vocals. Oh and he played bass and guitars on it, so it is more of an 'Ace & Peter' track, but whatever. That happens a lot from here on. Strange that Gene was the one that convinced Ace to sing on the song, but Gene never plays bass on any of Ace's songs. Not sure whose decision that was... oh yeah, the song rules. Unless Tommy Thayer is playing it. Then I boo him off the stage (or at least try to).

'Tomorrow and Tonight' is one of the weaker songs on here; the whole thing just reeks of 'trying to make an anthem' but not really succeeding. Don't worry, this isn't the first time and it sure won't be the last. Or worst.

This brings us to the title track... one of the best Kiss songs ever. Period. If you disagree, you are welcome. But as far as music, lyrics, vocals and everything else goes this song is pure Kiss-perfection. Ace's solos just bring so much attitude to this song at the end as well... Awesomeness personified.

Peter Criss makes his appearance with 'Hooligan' and I dig it. Some people hate Peter, but those people can suck my balls. He wrote some cool songs and in the Kiss setting they were able to make them rock a bit more than if he had been a solo artist (see my future reviews of his solo albums for more). 'Almost Human' just sounds like 'God of Thunder Part 2' - I'm not a huge fan of the original, so a re-visiting doesn't do much more for me. 'Plaster Caster' is another super great classic Kiss song that just captures everything about this band I love. In fact, it is the 2nd Kiss song I ever learnt to play and perform live. They should play that song live more often.

The last song on the album is the odd covering of 'Then She Kissed Me'. It is OK. While not at all terrible, it is a weird way to end one of the greatest rock albums of the 70's. Not only that, this was the last Kiss studio album to truly feature the original lineup. Things would change forever after this...

But what a way to end things.

Highlights:
I Stole Your Love, Christine Sixteen, Got Love For Sale, Shock Me, Love Gun, Hooligan, Plaster Caster

Lowlights:
Not getting the same recognition as Destroyer.

Verdict = 5 Smoking Les Pauls

ROCK AND ROLL OVER (1976)

The Kiss buzzsaw - for all your rock'n roll carpentry requirements...

This always feels like the 'forgotten make-up album' to me, purely because the majority of the tracks aren't live staples or appear on any of the million of Kiss compilations out there (a few of which I will review later). It might be because the album was sandwiched inbetween 2 of Kiss' defining albums so fans forget about how cool some of these tracks are. Or maybe the modern lineup of Kiss have no idea how to even play these songs at all - come see me, Paul Stanley, and I'll teach you how to play 'em. Just don't bring that loser Tommy Thayer to my house. And leave Gene Simmons behind, while you're at it. And don't bad-mouth Peter and Ace while you're here. Oh just forget it!

'I Want You' is classic Kissory, but with a cool duelling guitar solo. Then 'Take Me' is just the most non-subtle classic Kiss rock'n roll you could ask for. 'Calling Dr. Love' is actually one song from here that is still played live today - so I don't need to teach them how to play this one. Which is good, because it is 4 chords and I wouldn't want them to get confused.

Then the album hits that dreaded middle patch again... look, these songs aren't 'bad' as such, just not as good as the rest; when you are forced to compare a track like 'Ladies Room' to a track like 'Calling Dr. Love', it just sounds like filler. 'Baby Driver' is easily the worst Peter Criss song so far (don't worry, it won't keep that title) and 'Love 'Em and Leave 'Em' just kinda... I don't know... I bet it would sound cooler live.

Speaking of which, this album was actually recorded in a theatre to try and capture the real Kiss energy better - all their studio albums generally sounded pretty limp, so it was hoping setting them up like a live show would make everything sound awesome. I'm not overly sure how well it worked, but hey, that be some info for you.

OK back to the tracks... I've never heard a man brag about being fast in bed, but Paul Stanley does it and still rocks in 'Mr. Speed'; 'See You in Your Dreams' is pretty cool, and 'Hard Luck Woman' is kinda cool in that Rod Stewart kind of way (no, not how I look like Rod Stewart). Then the album ends with a hard rock punch to your genitals in 'Makin' Love' and we're done the same way we started - classic Kissory.

So yeah, much like Destroyer, an average middle section is sandwiched between some darn awesome songs. Much like how this album is pretty good but sandwiched between 2 of Kiss' best albums, thus probably making it seem less cool. Or more, depending on who you ask. I dunno... the album's artwork sure is cool though. Ace should have pointed his lazer blasting eyes to his left to stop Gene licking his chin. That's my thoughts, anyway.

Highlights:
Take Me, Calling Dr. Love, Makin' Love

Lowlights:
Nothing offensive here

Verdict = 4 Smoking Les Pauls

DESTROYER (1976)

"We're off to see the wizard... "

This album...

When I first became a fan of Kiss, THIS was the album everyone raved about. They still do. The cover art. The album title. The song titles. It all screams 'Ultimate Kiss Album'. It opens with 'Detroit Rock City', for crying out loud. So, I got the album and cranked it up loud... and...

... was thoroughly disappointed. It isn't that it is bad. It just isn't the non-stop amazingness that Kiss fans talk it up as.

The two opening tracks are amazing and set the album up well. And I do mean amazing. But then almost everything after is just... I don't know... they are good songs, they just never really quite hit their mark. Then to make up for it, they get covered in strings and pianos and choirs. 'Flaming Youth' is one of those songs that sounds like it has so much promise, but the chorus just kind of lacks any kind of hook that grabs you and makes you want to throw your fist in the air.

And that goes for everything in the middle of the album. 'God of Thunder' has never really done much for me, 'Great Expectations' is kind of humorous, 'Flaming Youth' and 'Sweet Pain' both rock hard in places, before the album goes back to classic awesomeness with 'Shout It Out Loud' and 'Do You Love Me?'.

Then there is 'Beth' - Kiss' first actual hit. For all the grief Gene and Paul and fans give Peter Criss, without him and this song Kiss would never have even broken through to the mainstream audience the way they did. For that alone, he deserves eternal high-fives from all of us.

This album is also seen by some (meaning me, LOGMAN) as the beginning of the end of Kiss as we knew it; it was the first album other people played on songs (rumour has it Ace wouldn't leave his card game to record a solo or acoustic guitar or something) and really shows the control/influence Gene and Paul were looking to take. It would be the only time it didn't fail, which we will get to later.

Awesome album. A little overrated, sure - but still awesome.

Highlights:
Detroit Rock City, King of the Night Time World, Shout it Out Loud, Do You Love Me?

Lowlights:
Nothing

Verdict = 4 Smoking Les Pauls and a thumbs up

Hilarious

Yes, I realise my amazing Kissathon blogging failed. I completed the Kissathon personally, but failed to post about it every day...

So before I finish watching every episode of the greatest cartoon ever created, I will endeavour to complete my mission. Just to refresh myself, I will actually do Kissathon again at the same time, as well.

Right after I finish listening to Psychic Lover.
This could take a while...

ALIVE! (1975)

The finale for America's Next Top Model was going well until the explosion...

And here comes the legendary live album that defines live albums. Or at least gave the first definition of a live album. Look it up in the Rocktionary.

It's one of those albums that might not be perfect, but every Kiss fans has to own. Or even a rock fan. Or just someone that doesn't want to be lame and have me make fun of them forever.

The majority of these tracks are here in their best and well-known forms. But emphasis on best. Most of the songs benefit from the high energy and faster tempos, with 'Cold Gin' and 'Hotter Than Hell' being the obvious exceptions, while others just feel more bombastic with explosions and extra guitar solos.

For some reason, 'Rock Bottom' just fails so badly on this album. I'm not sure what it is, but it just doesn't work.

But this is where you come for the definitive versions of almost everything else. Almost. '100, 000 Years' would be perfect if they had edited the drum solo down to about 30 seconds - 10 minutes is too much. Though it does make a great choice when wanting to annoy people.

Oh and 'Let Me Go, Rock'n Roll' proves how amazing it is right here. Go listen.

And if you don't have this album, go buy it now. NOW!

Highlights:
Deuce, Strutter, Got To Choose, Firehouse, C'mon and Love Me, Parasite, She, 100, 000 Years, Black Diamond, Rock'n Roll All Nite, Let Me Go (Rock'n Roll)

Lowlights:
Rock Bottom, the stupid long drum solo in 100, 000 Years

Verdict = 4 smoking Les Pauls and a thumbs up