Saturday 28 March 2015

WrestleMania March Madness, Day Twenty-Seven: WrestleMania XXVII

3 April 2011
Georgia Dome
Atlanta, Georgia - USA

Attendance: 71,617

Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry 'the King' Lawler & Josh Mathews

My thoughts before this viewing:
This was my first 'group viewing' of a WrestleMania since X-Seven. Like I've said before, watching these with others is the best way to enjoy them. We got together to watch because, of course, The Rock was returning to be awesome. He was. I believe we drank and ate fish and chips and generally didn't pay too much attention unless The Rock was on screen or the match was between people the others knew. It was good fun but I certainly do not remember this being a great WrestleMania. Apart from one match, I don't remember anything else being particularly outstanding. So let's see if the buzz of Bret Hart can be built upon by a returning Dwayne Johnson to make this show fun for me and everyone.

The everyone being my cats. They've been less than impressed with some of these shows.

Onward!

America the Beautiful
Keri Hilson is our singer tonight while the National Guard wave a giant American flag all over the place. She is singing all over the place and it ain't good. That end note was pretty good, though - I think that's what Nicole Scherzinger was wanting to do.
6/10


Opening Video
It's like an intro to a David Letterman show. "And here is your host... The Rock"
5/10


In The Ring
The Rock is here to give us a 10 minute introduction to the show by basically saying nothing. He promises this will be the most memorable WrestleMania in history.
7/10


Video Package
Oh another one? Fair enough - this one is actually for WrestleMania and not The Rock.
8/10



Opening Match
World Heavyweight Championship
Edge (c) (w/Christian) vs Alberto Del Rio (w/Brodus Clay & Ricardo Rodriguez)
Remember when winning the Royal Rumble meant you got to main event WrestleMania? Now I guess it means you get to open the show...
Edge has not come in as World Heavyweight champion as the last 3 WrestleManias, so don't believe the lies the commentators try to tell you. I forgot about this; Michael Cole is now the biggest bad guy in the company. He even has his own protective booth where he does commentary from. He is even more annoying than ever.
Winner = Edge via pinfall following spear
8/10


Edge smashes up Alberto Del Rio's fancy car. So, sore winner?
Hero!


Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes
This year Rey is Captain America.
So I guess that makes Cody Rhodes the Winter Soldier?
Winner = Cody Rhodes via pinfall following crossrhodes
7/10

The arguing between the commentators is incredibly tiresome and distracting. Even Josh Mathews is already sick of it.


Backstage
Snood Dogg is here again! He is auditioning WWE Superstars to see who can go on tour with him. So much awful. And then Hornswoggle raps and I lose a piece of my soul.
-2/10


Big Show, Kane, Santino Marella & Kofi Kingston vs The Corre



This match was quicker than I could type how not interested I am.
Winners = the good guys following a punch to someone's face from Big Show
1/10

That's such bullshit; a closed fist is an illegal move in pro-wrestling, yet Big Show keeps doing it and winning matches using it. Get some better referees! And preferably ones that don't get knocked out in main events.

Backstage
The Rock hits on Eve. The dude sure has balls - she's married to a Gracie. He calls Mae Young a "divasaurus". I wish they were extinct. Good comedy here... and then this happens:
10/10

Video Package
Randy Orton kicked CM Punk in the head 3 years ago so Punk is finally getting revenge. Well, I guess at least he is acting on it a bit quicker than Orton would have.
8/10


Randy Orton vs CM Punk
CM Punk tries to be Bret Hart, but isn't quite there. But damn he is close.
Winner = Randy Orton via pinfall following RKO out of nowhere
8/10

Backstage
'Mean' Gene Okerlund tells The Rock that this WrestleMania is going great and The Rock thanks him. Not sure why you take the credit there, Rocky - you've done very little so far. Though you have been a far more active host than Kim Kardashian. Your ass is nowhere near as good, though. Anyway, The Rock meets John Cena's #1 fan - it's Pee Wee Herman. Again, all sorts of comedy that is actually funny. A rarity for WWE.
10/10


The Hall of Fame inductees are presented. Drew Carey finally made it in after such a long illustrious career in pro-wrestling. Hopefully my induction isn't too far away.


Jerry 'the King' Lawler vs Michael Cole (w/Jack Swagger)
Special Referee: 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin
Booker T and Jim Ross take over commentary. Michael Cole starts the match with a promo that goes longer than The Rock's introduction to the show. Then the match goes even longer. Like, waaaaaaaay too long. Especially since most of it is Michael Fcking Cole on offense. Finally, Lawler gets the upper hand and Steve Austin makes the end entertaining, but this was just not something that should have gone 20 minutes.
Winner = Jerry 'the King' Lawler via submission
1/10

Austin and Lawler celebrate and beat up Booker T for trying to join in the party. Then the Anonymous Raw General Manager pipes up on its laptop and announces that Austin cheated on Lawler's behalf, so Jerry Lawler is disqualified.

Winner = Michael Cole via disqualification
-5/10

Fuck you.

So Austin and Lawler beat up Josh Mathews for reading that email.
Alcohol problems and bullying, kids - those are the qualities of a hero.

Video Package
Triple H will do what no other man could do - end the streak!
Good luck, you've already failed before. Though WWE seem to make sure they don't mention that. Btw, Undertaker, you have not faced 18 men: you faced both Kane and Shawn Michaels twice, but then you did face two men at the same time once. So the correct total is 17. Did everyone at WWE fail mathematics at school?
8/10


No Holds Barred
Undertaker vs Triple H
The H bomb thinks he is Conan again and comes out to a Metallica song so as to make me dislike him and Metallica even more. Undertaker comes out to Johnny Cash so is so much more bad ass it isn't funny.
You know what else isn't funny? This match. It is fantastic.
Winner = Undertaker via submission
10/10

Triple H did actually have me and my friend fooled when first watching this match.
Undertaker actually has to be stretchered off because he took so much of a beating.


Mixed Tag Match
John Morrison, Trish Stratus & Snooki vs Dolph Ziggler & LayCool (w/Vickie Guerrero)
Remember Snooki? This was when she was kinda famous, I guess. She is pretty damn short! And she can actually do this:
Winners = the good team following Snooki's gymnastics
3/10

Video Package
Entirely dedicated to The Miz's rise from loser on a reality show to being a loser as the WWE Champion.
4/10


Main Event
WWE Championship
John Cena vs The Miz (c) (w/Alex Riley)
The Miz has big letters on the stage that spell out "AWESOME". My, how original!
John Cena has a huge intro again, this time with a choir and a prayer and other bullshit. Sounds like DMX talking. Why is DMX not here???
Jim Ross says this is Cena's 8th straight WrestleMania main event. You are a fucking moron, Jim Ross - he has main evented a total of 2 times before this. Opening match does not count as a "main event". Co-main event does not count as "main event". You are less believable than The Miz is as WWE Champion.
Fuck off.
Draw via double countout
3/10

The Rock comes out but before he can say anything, the Anonymous Raw General Manager sends an email. Why is the General Manager for a TV show getting to interfere with the results of a different TV show? The Rock starts reading the email, then decides 'fuck you, computer!'
The Rock orders the match to restart - "No countout, not DQ, no cryin' to your momma!"

WWE Championship
John Cena vs The Miz (c) (w/Alex Riley)
The match restarts... and The Rock takes out John Cena.
Winner = The Miz via pinfall following The Rock pwning John Cena
5/10


The Miz would like to celebrate successfully defending his title at WrestleMania, but that's just stupid so The Rock hits him with a Rock Bottom and then the people's elbow because fuck you it's The Rock's show!

The Rock celebrates as his theme sends us out.



WrestleMania XXVII: The Awards

  1. Best Match
    The Undertaker vs Triple H
    I can't stand Triple H and everything about him... but that was one awesome match. The fact he is such a scumbag in real life made this match work even more for me because I figured he would be the type of guy to make sure he ended the streak.
  2. Worst Match
    Jerry 'the King' Lawler vs Michael Cole
    Michael Cole is bad enough announcer. Now we know why he is not a wrestler instead. But seriously, that was time you could have spend doing something far more entertaining.
  3. Highlight of the Show
    The Rock cracking comedy with Pee Wee Herman.
  4. Lowlight of the Show
    Hornswoggle rapping.
  5. Star of the Show
    The Rock. Not even close. He lifted this show and made me interested like no one has done since he left. And make no mistake, this show was aaaaalll about him.
  6. Best Celebrity Appearance
    The Rock - technically I am allowed to use him, because he is a famous actor and was not here in a 'wrestling' capacity. Fuck you, it's my awards!
  7. Worst Celebrity Appearance
    Snoop Dogg. Snooki was actually more entertaining - think about that.
  8. Tonight's Meal
    Tonight was a weird combo; avocado, eggplant, onion, tomato, mushrooms, capsicum & chilli beans topped with carrot hummus. Was a strange combo but quite tasty and rather healthy, I thought. Back on the Pepsi Next since it is Friday night and I'm a party up in here. Reeses' Chips Ahoys are awesome. But real awesome, not that fake 'Miz is Awesome' style.
  9. T-Shirt Cleanliness
    Didn't do too badly tonight. Though it is currently dark and I can't actually see it right now.
  10. Overall Score
    Another enjoyable show! It went kinda downhill after Triple H beat the hell out of the Undertaker, or maybe I was just a bit burnt out after that match. But not nearly as bad as I remember it being. Maybe this home stretch is going to be some good times? Or maybe Pepsi Next is actually code for tequila and cocaine?
    5 out of 10



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