Nazi's Should At Least Be Consistent

With the recent threat of power shortages and all that malarkey, our forest tech guy in the office has started getting on his high horse about our power consumption - as in, when he leaves he turns off the light in other people's offices if they are out, telling people off when they leave something on, etc. I don't have any problem with this - I am a firm believer in environmental awareness (as well as other forms of mental awareness). But what I find most entertaining is this:

When he goes home every night, he refuses to turn off his TWO 22 inch wide screen monitors.

Needless to say, I chuckle quite a bit every night. It's like dude, you are getting annoyed because someone leaves on a 60 watt light bulb, yet you can't turn off the biggest power suckers in your office? Not like turning them means you can't turn them back on in the morning.

And now all I'm thinking about it is the classic Alan Partridge line: "Needles to say... I took drugs"*

I hate it when a funny moment of a TV show completely takes precedent over something to the point where the mention of one word or line will be associated with that funny TV show moment for the rest of your life. What's worse, is how my flatmate can basically twist anything I say into a conversation from Corner Gas. She really needs to get out more.

This from a guy who has based all his love and relationship advice on what he has learnt watching Felicity.

But it works, dammit.
Next time you have relationship troubles, come to Dr. LogLove and test his Felicity theory for yourself. Comes with a 60 day money back guarantee



*for those who don't know, that line is when Alan and another woman are on a talk show discussing their auto-biographies; hers documenting her drug addiction, and his following his complete failure in life. When she comments that all his anecdotes end with "Needless to say, I had the last laugh" he tries to come back with "Your book could have said 'Needles to say... I took drugs'". Not quite as funny as the whole "I forgot - you're not Bono" line, or "Fe-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an ungrateful bunch of bastards!" but still, quality television

Your Kids are Stupid? Then Don't Take Them to the Movies

The other night I went to the cinema for the first time in many, many months. In fact, it has been so long since I went to see a movie, that I can not recall the last time I did.

Anyways, it was such an exciting experience that I was steadily reminded of the 2 main reasons I never go to movies any more:

1. People take children to movies they aren't interested in seeing because the parents can't find babysitters. So said children talk and fidget all through the movie and piss Logan off like they've been playing with his 20th anniversary Optimus Prime.

You see, next to me was a young boy and his idiot young father. And for the duration of the entire movie, aside from the boy stamping his feet on the ground and constantly reshuffling himself and his noisy jacket of doom, the man was having to explain all that was happening to his son. And I'm not just saying complex things (it was Indiana Jones, after all) but crap like the boy asking his dad "Who's Oxley?" when they had only been talking about him for about 40 minutes and Indy and his son had been going into GREAT detail about who Oxley was and what he meant to them both only 10 minutes earlier. I almost turned to him and said "Oxley is my boot and he is going to be stomping your ugly face in if you don't shut your pie-hole!!!"

I had the same problem when I first went to see Return of the King; some idiot kid kept asking his mother to explain the movie to him the whole way through. I don't get why parents insist on taking their children to movies far beyond their mental capacity. If I had children and they dared to ask me stupid questions during Kill Bill, they would get a samurai sword through the eye.

It is also beyond me why parents think it is acceptable to take their children to long movies so late at night - I go to later showings to avoid stupid annoying people and their annoying stupid little brats, only to find that some parents insist on their children living the same crappy life as them. Seriously, would you take a child to see Return of the King if it started at 8pm on a Tuesday night? Or Indiana Jones and the Long Movie of Doom at a similar time??

Sure, my dad took me to see all 3 original Star Wars movies late at night when I was 5, but that's because he has no parenting skills.

2. People refuse to turn off their cellphones.

I've said it before and I will no doubt say it many more times before I am murdered by a crazed religious nut - human beings these days have a sick dependency on their cellphones. And it is never better shown than in a movie theatre, where people will either txt the whole time or turn on their phone as soon as the movie is over. The next time you go, watch the crowd and laugh as you will see everyone turn on their phones at the same time. But anyways, what really bugs me is having to see people's big bright cellphone screens glow while they txt away thinking they aren't bothering anyone.

NEWSFLASH: PEOPLE CAN SEE LIGHTS!!!
Idiots.

But really, why is it people can't handle breaking away from their phones for 2 hours to watch something they have paid $17 to see?


Of course, nothing will ever compare to my worst movie-going experience ever, which involved a group of drunk people in the front row drinking and yelling, walking around and yelling to each other, and then lighting up joints periodically. Good times.

Let's Get Green, Fools!!!

Word up to Jim Anderton - easily my favourite person in the current NZ Government - for this bold but necessary move:

New Dolphin Protection Measures

But what I wish was in the article online, was all the backlash printed on the front page of today's paper. Comments like "Jim Anderton may well go down as the man who took the fish out of fish and chips" and how now people will have to "go without fish in their diets"

Seriously, I am sick of humans and their ignorance to the plight of other species - a plight that WE have caused. Without serious action like this, this would be the end of another 2 species of Dolphins. That means we would never see them again, people! They can't come back once we've wiped them out. If that means that people have to fish more sensibly, then so be it. Fishing nets cause a complete waste of marine life that is totally unnecessary, especially considering how 'advanced' our culture is supposed to be - yet these people are still using the same technique they have forever. Why? Because it is cheap and causes the least amount of hassle.

I realise this also means some people are going to lose their jobs - and I do feel bad for that. But I am in the same boat, and I will get to that in a minute...

Anyways, this Dolphin issue very much reminds me of the plight facing the Big Cats - you know, Lions and Tigers and the like. They are being wiped out at an alarming rate, and purely because humans are encroaching on their habitats for themselves. And before anyone tries to justify that sort of thing to me by saying we need more room for people to build homes, let me ask you this: if I knocked down half your home, built a new home on your property and moved my family in, and then shot you when you complained and tried to defend yourself, how would you feel?

OK now on to Kyoto It is so sad to see how little this world is willing to make changes to try and keep this world together, environmentally speaking. It's bad enough that countries like the USA refuse to join and now Canada are considering pulling out because of the cost it is going to mean (i.e. loss of jobs and such), but for the Wall Street Journal to ridicule New Zealand for moving to implement it starting next year is just disgusting. I work for a forestry company and have sat through many a meeting about Kyoto, so I know what it means for this country... as best as I can, anyways. I mean, things still are quite up in the air about this stuff right now. But quite frankly, we've left it late enough to start worrying about how much we are destroying the environment and if we don't get our shit together soon then it is going to be too late to do anything about it. This planet's resources are infinite, and with the population ever increasing our natural resources are dwindling away. Not to mention the fact that we are killing off every other living thing on the planet without the slightest concern. That has always been my biggest gripe with religions (not just Christianity) and why I could never align myself with any of them; they are all based on the fact that man (that is 'man' - not just humans in general) is superior to everything on the planet. But why would God put us in charge of everything and everyone when we can't even take care of other humans???

I have no doubt that if the Kyoto treaty is adhered to in this country, then I - like the fisherman who can't fish without killing dolphins - will not have a job in a year or so. But the fact is there are other jobs out there. And losing a job is a small price to pay to see some improvement in the way we think about the environment. I can think of so many people that have given their lives for so much less.

So stop whining, people! Change needs to be made and they need to start now. If it means you can't kill some dolphins, then so be it. If it means you can't move into land that is occupied by Lions, then by all means stay where you are. And if it means we all have stop using so much of everything then let's hope people can find a way.

A Good Sign

May is now officially my most blogged month this year!
Still only managed to get the average up to around 1 blog every 2.5 days.

Remember when I used to blog everyday about something in a humorous way?

Me neither

Who is More Important?

I was thinking the other day, and while that sounds scary, try and figure this one out for me:


There are 2 continents that use the name 'America' - North America and South America

South America contains 12 countries.

North America contains 23 countries (jeepers I didn't know that! I always just thought it was just Canada and USA - forgot Central America is really a part of the Northern continent)


Yet, only those from the United States of America - 1 country out of the 35 that occupy the American continents - are called Americans.

Random Notes from My Day at Work

I thought it might be fun to jot down some things as I think of them today. And not just because I have nothing to blog about. Not at all.

So anyways, here are some of my random thoughts from the day, which seem to relate mostly to my poor typing skills. But considering that was pretty much all I did today, we are all pretty lucky I managed to keep my composure and not go on a kill-crazy rampage on the 12th floor.

• I get so confused having to enter dates in the American format.
  
• SK isn’t a valid tax code? Curses to you, FAS Asset Accounting!
  
• Every time I enter the ‘OC’ code, I just picture Jason Bateman looking at me and saying “Don’t call it that”
  
• Gilchrikst does sound a lot cooler
  
• Sno is also not a valid tax code. I look forward to playing in the sno sometime this winter (with luck – not too hopeful considering I move close to the beach in 8 days)
  
• On a related topic, isn’t it odd how if you say to people that you like the snow, they automatically assume you ski or snowboard?
  
• For the record, I can’t do either and don’t care if I ever do. I just want to make snowballs and throw them at old people

Anyone else get the feeling my typing is pretty lousy???

Me and My Lousy Typing

Everytime I have been typing From Dusk Till Dawn, it has been coming up as From Duck Till Dawn.

I think someone needs to make a spoof


but what's worse?
how about going to type From Duck Till Dawn, and instead typing From Dick Till Dawn.
Seriously.

I'm going back to bed now