Just reading the paper today, I thought there were a few little 'note-worthy' items, regarding upcoming films and such:
Firstly, it seems Spiderman 3 is going to become the most successful bad movie ever. Basically, it's turning a huge profit - even though the general consensus is that it is terrible; critics hate it, movie-goers aren't impressed, but yet it's making lots of money. Why? Because it's Spiderman, dumbass! It's like how the Star Wars prequels made zillions of dollars - despite the fact that they are as fun as poking a cold hedgehog up my nose - because of the simple fact that they are Star Wars movies. George Lucas could throw an hour of Hayden Christensen giving cooking lessons on the big screen, and still make millions of dollars - as long as it had the Star Wars name on it.
Star Wars Episode VII: The Emperor's Quiche
I am going to admit right now, that I actually never did see the previous two Spiderman films on the big screen (something I do sort of regret) and I feel that is why I have such a desire to see the third, but I won't be expecting much anymore. That could be the problem; people just expected too much with this film. Anyways, I'll judge for myself when I finally go see it. The buzz is Sony have made a deal to make another 3... I'm hoping they are going to be animated and straight to video releases. I just have this nightmare where Bryan Singer takes over, replaces Tobey Maguire with Aaron Stanford (he played the angsty Pyro in the terrible X-Men sequels), and brings in James Marsden to take his usual role in every Bryan Singer movie...
Then there was an article bashing the movies that are coming out over the next few months. Now come on, that ain't right! I don't remember the last time I saw a release schedule for the 'blockbuster' movies that looked this good. Let's see: TMNT, Spiderman 3, Pirates of the Caribbean 3, Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix, The Simpsons, and of course, Transformers. Not a movie in there I can fathom missing. Throw in some classic action styling with Die Hard 4, and you've got yourself a couple of months where Logan needs to get himself to the cinema
And then of course, the big news; Steven Spielberg, Peter Jackson & Weta are combining on a new Tintin trilogy. Yawn. Seriously, looking again at the releases this year, I'm reminded of something; I'm sick of trilogies! I'm not counting things like Lord of the Rings & Harry Potter - those are books and are totally separate. What I am sick of, is Hollywood deciding that they are going to make a whole bunch of movies without even releasing one. Does the world need 3 Tintin movies? Not likely - why not wait until you see how the first one goes before making people spend lots of money making another 2. Was one PotC movie not enough? The second one didn't do much for me, as the first one finished wonderfully wrapping things up, and the second was clearly just to bridge it to the third. Did the world need 3 movies of Shrek? Did we even need one?
But then again, I'm not content with just 6 Rocky movies, so who the heck am I to judge?
I'm hoping Transformers will be awesome and that will be it - no sequel, no trilogy, no decathlon of Transformers adventures. Just one movie that kicks butt and leaves.
Learn from The Matrix, people.
And this made me laugh, so I recommend checking it out:
3 comments:
Spiderman 3 is utterly crap. Even crapper than you will be imagining.
However, I think it's probably still slightly less crap than huge box office earning films Pearl Harbour, Independence Day, and Da Vinci Code... but I guess may horrifyingly end up earning more and therefore yes, taking the title.
(obviously much is crap about Titanic, but at least at the time it was considered AWESOME - as you point out, it's so weird that this one isn't even considered awesome by anyone and is still raking it in)
PS I hated PotC 2. Am refusing to get excited about the 3rd because of, yes, Matrix.
PPS Advance word is that Transformers is AWESOME, but they always say that, don't they...
i'm with you
one of my friends just won't shut up about PotC, and i'm like "big deal - it's not Transformers!"
now that i think about it, number 2 reminds me a little of Revolutions; not an actual story on it's own - just filled the gap to the 3rd part - and was totally overloaded on action to try and make up for it.
and i have no doubts Transformers will be awesome. how could it not be? after watching all the previews and trailers that i've seen, i just don't know how they could botch it from here. even Spielberg seems excited
You're so right about PotC 2 - which is why I refuse to get excited about the 3rd one, as we know how that worked out with Matrix... I wonder if PotC will also do a 'simultaneous worldwide release to combat pirating of this, the greatest film ever made' - ie realise it's shit so release it simultaneously to try and make a shit load of money before people have time to tell each other it SUCKS.
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