The Vince McMahon Guide to Social Behaviour

Last week, WWF (yes I still refuse to call it WWE) Chairman & former owner Vince McMahon received an honorary doctorate from Sacred Heart University. Now I will admit that at first I really did not care about this at all - as I'm sure most people don't. However, two things were brought to my attention:
1. Sacred Heart University is a Catholic institution.
2. Sacred Heart’s mission statement encourages a “responsibility for the common good of society.”

Think about that for a minute... then think about the sort of images that are shown on WWF programming every week; violence, steroid abusing athletes, and half naked women

Yes, that's good television for society.

So I thought it might be a great idea to take a little look at some of Vince McMahon Jr's greatest accomplishments that may have attributed to him receiving an honorary Doctor of Human Letters degree from an institution that promotes morals in society and is founded in the Laws of God.

Steroid Distribution
In 1994, Vince was put on trial for allegedly distributing steroids to his athletes in both WWF and WBF (World Bodybuilding Federation - don't worry, that only lasted a few months before going out of business). He admitted to taking steroids himself, as did most of the prosecution's witness' (including Hulk Hogan), but was later acquitted of the charges.

Sexual Harassment #1
Before I start this one, I must also point out that Vince has admitted to having numerous affairs on his wife...
In 2006, a young woman working in a bar in Florida claimed Vince "groped her and harassed her." No charges were filed by police.

Sexual Harassment #2
In 1999, former WWF "Diva" Rena Mero (a.k.a Sable) brought a lawsuit against Vince and WWF, claiming unsafe working conditions and sexual harassment. In one article, she claimed that Vince was pushing for her to reveal her breasts on television against her will. After this lawsuit was settled out of court, Vince made a point to include a 'No Harassment Clause' in all employees’ contracts, so as to avoid any further situations like that.

McMahonism
In 2006, Vince McMahon booked one of the most ridiculous angles in pro-wrestling. They had been exploiting Shawn Michaels' recent conversion to Christianity with his prayers before matches and crucifixes on his ring attire. Then for a Pay-per View match in April 2006, Vince booked himself and his son to compete against Shawn Michaels in a tag-team match. Shawn's partner? GOD

Of course, God did not show up, and Shawn Michaels lost the match. So Vince then went on to claim that he beat God - and was therefore greater than God - and would start his own religion called McMahonism.

To this day, I'm hopeful that he remains the only member of the congregation.

Rape
Rita Chatterton, a former referee in the WWF during the 80's, claims that on July 16, 1986 McMahon tried to force her to perform oral sex on him in his limousine and, after she refused, subjected her to rape. McMahon was not charged with any offense relating to the alleged incident, the criminal statute of litigations having passed.

The Montreal Screwjob
OK this one isn't really that bad, but I personally have a problem with it (and I will be brief, as I will be writing something more in-depth in the near future). Bret Hart - who had worked for the WWF for almost 15 years and had a very close personal relationship with Vince himself - was leaving in around a month to work for WCW (the details on why he was leaving are very complex. He was signed for 20 years, but Vince wanted out so asked him to go). However, as he was the champion at the time, he needed to lose the title before leaving. Bret had a clause in his contract stating that he and Vince had to agree on all decisions regarding his character for the final 30 days of his employment.

The problem was, Vince wanted Bret to lose the belt to Shawn Michaels, whom Bret legitimately dislikes, and in Canada - his home country, and where he was considered a national icon. Bret refused and offered to drop the title to anyone else; just not Shawn Michaels, and not in Canada.

The match went ahead, with both Bret and Vince agreeing beforehand that Shawn would not win and Bret would drop the title to someone else the next night (I have the conversation on video - was recorded in a documentary), and leave the WWF at the end of the month (this was November 9th, 1997). Alas, Bret got put in his own submission hold - it was part of the plan for the match - and before he could reverse it, the referee called for the bell, claming Bret had submitted and therefore making him lose the match - and the title - to Shawn Michaels. The fans booed, and Bret was pretty pissed.

But instead of taking him to court over a breach of contract (which I'm pretty sure he could have), Bret did the honourable thing; he spat in Vince's face before leaving the ring, smashed a few monitors on his way backstage, and when Vince finally came out of his office after the show, gave him a nice punch in the face, resulting in a fractured jaw and a concussion for Vince McMahon.

While that was much longer than I had planned, it's still very abridged. I will write more on it at a later date.

And finally...
Manslaughter
And if you thought Bret Hart hated Vince McMahon enough already...
On May 23rd 1999, at a Pay-per View event, Owen Hart (Bret Hart's younger brother) was being lowered to the ring as part of a skit before his match. The idea was that he was to get stuck just above the mat, release himself from the harness and fall flat on his face. Unfortunately, the quick release was triggered very early and Owen fell 78 feet, hitting his chest on the top turnbuckle and falling into the ring. He died a short time later.

However, the event continued. I guess Vince McMahon did not want to have to refund all that money he was making.

Owen's widow launched a lawsuit against Vince and the WWF (notice a trend here?), as there were no safety backups for the stunt and the harness used was designed for sailboats, and required only 6 pounds of weight to trigger the quick release function (Owen weighed around 220 pounds). The issue was settled out of court and one of the conditions was that no further information would be released about the safety harness used.


So there you have it, kids. If you want to get a degree, don't bother with all this 'learning' or 'education'; just make yourself lots of money and do whatever the heck you want, and then some stupid institute will just give you one because it looks cool. Any suggestions for next year's recipients? I'm thinking a good Catholic school that promotes behaviour for the good of society must honour someone like Donald Rumsfeld with some sort of peace prize, or maybe a posthumous humanitarian award to Richard Nixon?