Many Things About A Man You Don't Know

UPDATE: Due to the extreme length of what I wrote, I have decided to split this blog... not exactly sure how many parts yet

For more information on Vince Russo, visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vince_Russo

Well, it would seem that I am that bored that it's time to think just how much more fun my workplace would be if Vince Russo was hired to plan out my days.

For those who do not know - and I'm assuming that's everyone I know - Vince Russo was one of the main writers for WWF when it started to move to the more edgy "attitude" era that we have all come to know and laugh at. You know, all those stupid things like Degeneration-X, scantily clad women and soap opera style segments - all the wonderful work of the writer Russo. But you see, as WCW started going down the fast track to cancelled, Mr. Russo and his creative companion Ed Ferrara were lured away from the WWF to come and head not just the creative team, but also book matches as well. What happened is not only was there more walking shown on television than ever before, but WCW became the biggest joke in television history; and I think that really says something about a show where the actors only wear their underpants and pretend to beat each other up.

Anyways, the show became notorious for no matches ever finishing cleanly, the world title changing hands every week, constant swerves (in his foolish attempts to trick all the viewers... alas it became boring, because you knew there was always going to be at least 2 swerves a night), stupid 'gimmick matches' such as the infamous "Piñata on a Pole" match, and of course, sleazier action than a Madonna video (which really cost it a lot of fans; a lot of old school fans like myself always preferred WCW for having less strippers). None of the storylines ever added up or even made any sense whatsoever... I mean, the guy even made David Arquette the WCW World Champion. Yes, you read that correctly - B-Grade movie Actor David Arquette!!!

He also wrote himself into the major storylines, driving around in a "popemobile" and trying to pretend most of what happened was not part of the show.

Unsurprisingly, WCW soon went out of business and Mr. Russo saw the error of his ways, becoming a "Born Again" Christian

He now works for TNA Wrestling, where he writes the same sleazy, nonsensical and pointless rubbish he has used to turn pro-wrestling into the trash it has become

Ok that was harsh. And this is turning into a Vince Russo tirade

So without further stalling for lack of creativity, here is how I believe my job would pan out if Vince Russo was in charge of writing

Because my job follows a script

To "job" in wrestling means to lose. And every time I write "job" it cracks me up because I feel like I'm saying Vince Russo is asking me to lose

But then if it involves Vince Russo, we all lose

OK here we go: