Wednesday, 5 September 2007

And Because You Asked For It...

SummerSlam '07 was OK.

From what I've read, it was much better than the last few PPV's, but I guess that really isn't saying much. Some of the matches were pretty good... actually no, most were actually pretty darn boring. And then there was the pointless fake beer drinking contest (which just involved Steve Austin appearing, drinking some beer and then giving MVP a stunner. And he got the loudest cheer of the night too. Kind of makes you wonder when a guy who has been retired for how many years now gets cheered louder than people that are actually there to wrestle). The Diva Battle Royal was a mess, but not as terrible as I would have thought (but really it is just an excuse to have women in skimpy clothing). And as for Batista vs The Great Kahli...

Rey Mysterio vs Chavo Guerrero, Jr. was pretty good, though Michael Cole is officially the worst commentator I've ever heard. Makes me very glad I don't watch Smackdown! - if I yelled at my TV every week the way I kept yelling at it during this match, I wouldn't have much of a voice. Michael Cole is the Batista of commentating.

Even Triple H's return match was kinda good. I think maybe I just enjoyed seeing his entrance again - even if he did do the same darn pose about 76 times!

Anyways, for me it was all about the main event; John Cena vs Randy Orton. The crowd were so anti-Cena I couldn't believe it. And despite some reviews I've read, I thought it was a really good match. Cena won and has now been champion for almost a year - that's pretty sweet for modern pro-wrestling. No one's held it this long since Hulk Hogan in '89. Good work, Cena. Not that anyone reading this cares.

So yeah it was OK. Not great, but not terrible. Except for Batista vs The Great Kahli. That was beyond terrible. It's bad enough putting The Great Kahli in any match when he moves like a giant old-man with bad arthritis, and it's bad enough to book him in a match with a guy who must be weighed down by all the steroids he takes because he moves and has about as much talent as a block of ear wax. And it's bad enough that the wrestling highlight of the entire match was Kahli putting Batista in a freekin' "nerve hold" for around 5 minutes (to me it just looked like he was massaging his shoulder in a tender moment). But the ending just made me want to see this event as a major opportunity for terrorists to blow something up. But I knew they wouldn't save me from the torture, because who would care if you blew up those chumps?


Terrorist: "I am going to blow up SummerSlam and destroy the celebrated match between The Great Kahli and Batista!"

UN Humanitarian: "Thanks - you'll be doing my job for me!"


The match sucked - I can't stress that enough. It was worse than suckage. It was like maybe it should have been saved for Survivor Series so we could claim that as Bret Hart's revenge...

No. Bret Hart loves wrestling too much to do something like that to it.

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