Oh You Didn't Know?

I'm sure most people are aware of all the drama surrounding pro-wrestling at the moment. Either that or they don't care. Well, let me bring you up to speed:

After the whole Chris Benoit tragedy, there was tonnes of media attention in regards to the blatant use of steroids and other drugs in pro-wrestling, and in particular, WWE. Congress has even stepped in and requested all information that WWE has in regards to their Wellness Policy and subsequent testing. Rumour has it that Vince McMahon has not been taking this very seriously. And why should he? I mean, he's been through steroid trials before and gotten away with it - not to mention every other crime possible. I imagine he could walk into congress and say "I don't even know what steroids are! I'm an honest, church-going man living the American dream! Here - have some money" and they would just say "Thank you, kind sir. You truly are a model citizen!" and that will be it. And some poor wrestling promotion will end up getting shut down instead, just because someone has to be.

And just last week WWE got caught out yet again, when 14 of their "Superstars" were implicated in an investigation as customers of a corrupt internet pharmacy - basically they had all been buying steroids and related hormones via this internet company while this so-called "Wellness Policy" has been in place. And at least 3 of them have claimed in recent weeks that they have either never used steroids, or did but stopped when the Wellness Policy was put in place last year. 10 of them have been suspended, 1 was cleared by the company (he apparently confessed before the story broke, so they don't consider him to have commited any crime. I guess being scheduled to main event the next PPV and win the WWE Championship has nothing to do with that decision) and the others have all denied any involvement whatsoever. Again, I doubt that has anything to do with the fact that they are considered the top draws at the moment.

But then my own personal favourite article in this whole thing comes from a Repulican Congressman, who basically said the WWE Wellness Policy was a big load of crap, and that this shows they really don't follow any guidelines. It's an interesting read, so you should check it out.

Personally, if you don't think half the guys in WWE are using steroids, then you are stupid. Of course they are going to deny it, because it is illegal, but Vince McMahon is known for pushing big oversized men into the spotlight - the whole promotion is based on that.

I'm hoping that in true Vince McMahon style, this will all get turned into another angle. Over the next month or two, we'll see the company start to fall apart and it will look like he is going to prison for distributing steroids again. All the wrestlers who use drugs are all suspended or fired, so the roster consists of two "Divas", 3 referees and a steel chair. But then at Survivor Series in November to mark the 10th Anniversary of "The Montreal Screwjob", Bret Hart will come down and reveal it was him all along! He had killed Chris Benoit and filled his home with steroids and other drugs. He started this phony internet pharmacy and faked patient records to trap half of the roster. He had instructed Congress to start investigating WWE. And he had doctored all the information WWE had supplied to make it look like everyone is on steroids when they really aren't - just to get back at Vince for what happened 10 years ago! And with the depleted roster, Bret then comes down to the ring and puts Triple H's sledgehammer in the sharpshooter and wins the WWE Championship!

That would keep me watching non-stop for the next few months, that's for sure. Unfortunately, it would also mean Batista and The Great Kahli would return soon after for yet another pointless and terrible match. If only they could get busted for real. Or someone had killed them instead. I'd trade you a psychotic Chris Benoit for those two no-talent oversized sloths any day.