Jim Kelly June Jamboree: The Tattoo Connection (1978)

THE MOVIE

We open in some sort of shipping yard, where a dude is challenging a gang. This dude is called Lee Tung Hao and he wants someone in the gang called Fat Dog to come with him, but I think the leader of the gang says Fat Dog belongs to him and they have to fight. Of course, Tung Hao wins and the gang leader is all 'Hey you are great! Fat Dog is all yours!'. Fat Dog stole money from their gang boss, Mr. Lu, and Tung Hao wants him to come back - promising him he will make sure no one kills him. It is here I will point out that this is a Hong Kong film from 1978, so all the dialogue is hilariously overdubbed with silly British accents and there are more camera zooms than can jokes I can make.

Tung Hao takes Fat Dog back to Mr. Lu's gang... and then exiles him. Makes sense.

Cue funky music!

So Mr. Lu's gang rob some dude of some diamonds. The insurance company send in an ex-CIA agent to to investigate; it's my main man Jim Kelly!

He at least has been overdubbed with an American accent and quickly gets on the trail, interviewing his buddy George - who was the guy robbed of the diamonds - and some guys that were involved in the robbery. But at every turn, Lu's gang is just one step ahead of him. Or at least... on top of him? On moving cars?

Meanwhile, Tung Hao has given the diamond to his Uncle to cut up so they can move it and make millions of dollars. Uncle predicts bad things will come from this. But he'll still cut it for money, because he's not totally stupid. His workshop is on a boat? That seems less than stable to be cutting precious stones. He also seem less than stable on the whole process:

Lucas is back on the trail - now he is investigating a tattoo found on a dead body.

He goes to a tattoo parlour and the dude tries to pretend he wasn't involved, but Lucas ain't no fool! He sends Lucas to talk to Nana, a dancer at Mr. Lu's club. And Tung Hao's secret girlfriend. She pretty much wants nothing to do with Lucas because she's racist or something. He whoops Lu's men so Tung Hao gets involved - but of course the police come before they can determine a winner. Fat dog was watching the whole thing and decides he'll help Lucas figure things out. Of course, Mr. Lu figures out Fat Dog is helping so kills him.

Lucas is getting suspicious of everyone. Tung Hao is getting fed up with Mr. Lu. Mr. Lu is being Mr. Lu, and tries to get Nana to seduce Lucas and kill him with sex. Lucas seems kinda keen on this idea, which is really odd; last time they interacted she was basically repulsed by him, but now she's all over him and getting naked in his hotel room - and he's not suspicious of that?!? Anyways, before she can give him death by snu-snu, Tung Hao busts in and takes Nana home. This, of course, makes Mr. Lu mad because now Lucas is still alive AND his top henchman has been keeping his affair secret. AND the old man on the wobbly boat still hasn't cut the diamond. I mean, you left him on a fucking boat and gave him girls to play Mahjong with - you only have yourself to blame, Lu. And has it been a week already? I mean, surely Lucas could have investigated the tattoo parlours and caught up with Nana in about a day - what else has he been doing with his time? Anyways, Mr. Lu is fed up with the old man, Tung Hao and Lucas, and sets about trying to kill them all - but I'm sure you can figure out how that works out for him.

Death by not snu-snu.

Lucas heads back to America and Tung Hao heads off to prison, though the Hong Kong police think he might be out in time for Christmas so he can spend the holidays with Lucas. Now that is a sequel I could get behind...

REACTION

Pretty much your typical 1978 Hong Kong martial arts film - which suited me quite fine, for the most part. The overdubbed voices did sound particularly silly in this one, though; I'm not quite sure who made the decision to have a big burly Chinese man sound like a cockney pirate teenager from the 13th Century, but I respect their artistic vision. I would be somewhat interested to view the movie again with the original language track, but would be quite surprised if that still existed. Can you believe this was originally promoted in Western countries as Black Belt Jones 2? I mean, Hot Potato was technically that, and it actually made less sense as the sequel.

JIM KELLY

It was a jarring hearing someone else's voice for him in this film... but, realistically, that was probably the least of the problems here. For the most part, Lucas just fumbled his investigation and got into fights. And looked cool doing it.

Jim Kelly June Jamboree: Enter The Dragon (1973)

THE MOVIE

Some Government agency (it is never specified who or where) ask Mr. Lee (Bruce Lee) to take part in a martial arts tournament to spy on the tournament's organiser, Han - a former member of said agency that went rogue and now lives on his own island, where they believe he is involved in all sorts of illegal operations. Lee isn't interested, until he discovers that Han's henchmen are responsible for the death of his sister. I mean, she did actually kill herself, but Han's henchmen were either going to beat or kill her themselves, so it's still fair to blame them. 

On the island, Lee meets some of the participants in the tournament. Well, actually only two of them; Roper and Williams.

They're old friends from Vietnam, and both completely different; Roper is a con artist or gambling addict that is running away from gambling debts or something and always likes to say "Wanna bet?" - even when it makes no sense - while Williams is my main man Jim Kelly, who hates ghettos and the man keeping bruthas down!

Anyways, Lee has no time for funny business, so he whoops butt in the tournament

and then whoops Han's rather inept security guards.

Han gets pissed off and throws the whole tournament format out the window, which leads to an all-out brawl between the participants of the tournament and Han's henchmen, and then Han's slaves join the party to help defeat Han's henchmen as well.

The workers be uprising! It's a revolution! Han really loses it now, and is forced into a battle to the death against Lee.

REACTION
Yeah, it's Enter The Dragon. Y'all should know this. It is the quintessential martial arts movie, complete with awesome tropes like 'rogue agency officer', 'martial arts tournament on a random island' and 'seeking revenge for a sibling'. It made Bruce Lee immortal. I'm not the biggest fan of Bruce Lee, but even I will admit that I always enjoy watching this movie. 

JIM KELLY

This movie also made a star of Jim Kelly; he had some great lines, showed some serious charisma, and is probably my favourite part of the movie. When we are first introduced to Williams, we see him being harassed by the police in America - so he is forced to defend himself, and thus he has fled to take to part in this tournament.

Then he starts the tournament by giving a douchebag bully from New Zealand a serious beatdown.

So to recap; he whooped the dirtbag cops and then whooped a dirtbag Australian pretending to be a dirtbag New Zealander. Bah gawd Williams may be the greatest character in cinema history! Before the tournament begins, Han offers Williams some of his 'women' and Williams apologises to the ladies that he is only taking 4 of them because he is tired from the long journey. Classy man! And when confronted by Han about who is beating up his henchmen and infiltrating his criminal organisation, Williams does not snitch on Lee to save himself - again, he is a man of true honor! Come to think of it, there is a recurring theme for the struggles Williams faces; he is harassed by the pigs for no reason, and then gets accused of infiltrating Han's organisation for no reason. Why the man always trying to keep a brutha down, huh??

Of course, being Jim Kelly, he defeats Han and saves the world. Totally. Yup yup that is totally what happened...

I could sit here all day just making gifs from this movie - which is probably why I'm five movies into the Jamboree, but only now completing my second review.

It goes without saying that this film is highly recommended.