2025 in 2025: Day 168

Speak - Lindsay Lohan

Compared to A Little More Personal (Raw), this is much more of a teen pop album. Which is not a bad thing. Fun, mostly upbeat, basic lyrics and all easily singalongable.

Highlights: Disconnected, Over, First, Symptoms of You

7/10

Speak for Yourself - Imogen Heap

There was this six month period of 2005 where it seemed like everyone was on the Imogen Heap hype train. Which is crazy, because this album is just nothing!

Highlights: Hide and Seek, The Walk

6.5/10

Speakerboxxx - Outkast

Holy cow, this is so much better than I remember. Or at least much better than The Love Below. They really should have just made one great album instead, because this just straight-up hip-hop coolness. Big Boi is severely underrated and all the features here are rad, as well.

Highlights: Flip-Flop Rock, Last Call, The Way You Move, War

7.5/10

Spellbound - Split Enz

These dudes were the greatest musical act in New Zealand history and this marathon is only convincing me it is not close.

Highlights: Message to My Girl, History Never Repeats, Six Months in a Leaky Boat, I See Red

8/10

Spend the Night - The Donnas

Modern rock bands could learn a thing or two from The Donnas. This album, specifically, where every song is either 'this dude sucks' or 'this dude has a big dong so he should let me ride it'. Lessons learned!

Highlights: I Don't Care (So There), 5 O'Clock in the Morning, Too Bad About Your Girl, Take It Off

9/10

SPICE - SCANDAL

When my girls rock, they rock hard. This is almost the most typically Japanese rock song they have done in years.

8/10

Spice - Spice Girls

Is there a more perfect pop album? Sure, maybe. But these women will forever have my heart. I never really noticed before that there is some heavy UK funk influence in here - which explains why it registered so well with me? And god help the mister that comes between me and my sisters!

Highlights: Say You'll Be There, Who Do You Think You Are?, Love Thing, Wannabe

9/10

Spice: 25th Anniversary Deluxe Edition - Spice Girls

I have already complained about this and there certainly is a lot missing, but what is here is actually decent and it is great to have this much in one place.

Highlights: One of These Girls, Spice Chat 2, Say You'll Be There [7" Radio Edit], If You Can't Dance [Demo Version]

7/10

Spiceworld - Spice Girls

Definitely less funk influence and more of a throwback to 60s pop and soul, in my opinion. But still very awesome. Melvins B and C were the coolest.

Highlights: Do It, Move Over, Stop, Saturday Night Divas

9/10

Spiceworld: 25th Anniversary Deluxe Edition - Spice Girls

Similar to the Spice: 25th Anniversary Deluxe Edition, there is a lot missing here, and instead time is devoted to remixes and live versions. At least we got the other Pepsi song!

Highlights: Step to Me [7" Mix], Outer Space Girls, Spice Girls Party Mix

7/10

Spiceworld Tour Live At Wembley Stadium 20-09-1998 - Spice World

I had this on VHS, but missed out on getting the DVD - which now sells for more than the price of a locomotive. But I also did not watch my VHS all that much, back in the day. It is good, but Geri is missing and it is noticeable. Although they did play a recording of her singing in Spanish during If You Can't Dance. They also announce they are staying together and then broke up two years later...

Highlights: Who Do You Think You Are?, Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves, Say You'll Be There, We Are Family

7/10

Spike - Elvis Costello

This is only the single Veronica. I actually do not know much of Elvis Costello's works. I keep telling myself to one day do a bit of listen, but then forget and just listen to The Shit...

7.5/10

Spirit - Leona Lewis

I think I enjoyed her second album more? Like, the ballads are impressive... well, a couple are, but the rest is very forgettable.

Highlights: Whatever It Takes, I Will Be, The Best You Never Had, Bleeding Love

6.5/10

The Spirit Room - Michelle Branch

Why do I not have full albums by Michelle Branch? The songs I have by her are pop perfection, yet I have not heard anything else? I make no sense. Oh yeah, this is All You Wanted.

9/10

Spirit: Stallion Of The Cimerron - Bryan Adams & Hans Zimmer

Bryan Adams makes a lot songs for movies and has done since the 90s. This is the rare occasion he made a full album's worth. Well, almost; Hans Zimmer does provide a few songs of pure score. BA is pretty good at evoking emotion, so it makes sense.

Highlights: Here I Am (End Title), Sound the Bugle, Don't Let Go, This is Where I Belong

7/10

"Albums" listened to so far: 1595

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2025 in 2025: Day 113

Lifeblood - Manic Street Preachers

The Manics go all adult lo-fi rock like they have been listening to Keane and The Cardigans all summer. Luckily they still write good songs, so I am more of the opinion that this album is underrated and underappreciated. Without actually being memorable or anything.

Highlights: 1985, Empty Souls, I Live to Fall Asleep, Always/Never

7/10

Lifelines - a-ha

What is it with today and this adult radio rock and music from the mid-00s? This might well be the most consistent a-ha album I have listened to yet. Does that maybe say something about me?

Highlights: White Canvas, Forever Not Yours, There's a Reason for it

6.5/10

Light Years - Kylie Minogue

This was Kylie's comeback album. Which is crazy. And it was the start of a period where she just known to always be wearing short shorts. I just wanted her to keep making dancey-disco pop - short shorts or not.

Highlights: Spinning Around, Kids

7/10

Lipstick Traces: A Secret History of Manic Street Preachers - Manic Street Preachers

A large collection of b-sides and rarities. Large. Too large. There are some killer tracks hidden in here - and they seem to be more of the modern ones. But I assure you they are buried in a lot of less than special stuff. The second disc is mostly covers, which range from G'n'R classics to punk rock classics to... Wham!

Highlights: 4 Ever Delayed, Judge Yr'self, Just a Kid, Take the Skinheads Bowling

6.5/10

Listen to the Music: The Very Best of the Doobie Brothers - Doobie Brothers

I do not have the full collection, but this sure is a good reminder that I should correct that one day. Such a strange combination of Southern Rock, funk and beautiful harmonies.

Highlights: Listen to the Music, Long Train Runnin'

8/10

Little Fish: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack - Various Artists

Nope, not really. This is purely Sarah Blasko's cover of Cold Chisel's Flame Trees. It is a rather brilliant interpretation. Sarah Blasko is good like that.

9/10

A Little More Personal (Raw) - Lindsay Lohan

I am unapologetically a fan of LiLo and her singing career, because this album is solid. A bold mix of heartfelt ballads, pop rock, and dare I say darker emo? Honestly, the only misstep on this whole album is the cover of Edge of Seventeen - which hilariously ends with the bass on the wrong note before stopping abrubtly. Possibly cut off? Or they forgot to add that last midi note?

Highlights: Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father), If It's Alright, A Beautiful Life (La Bella Vita), I Live for the Day, Black Hole

8/10

A Little South of Sanity - Aerosmith

Oh, time for us to start all these live albums, huh? Sure... Musically, this album is seriously awesome. The songs are all full of energy. Vocally, Tyler is still pretty great, but his voice just clearly gets tired halfway through. And he struggles with some high notes from the jump. But otherwise, this is a very solid album showing a legendary rock group just past their prime and well before they turned into a group of old ladies.

Highlights: Eat the Rich, Love in an Elevator, Dude (Looks Like a Lady), Walk This Way

7/10

Live - Noel Gallagher

This is some random live version of Don't Go Away, performed by Noel Gallagher on acoustic guitar. It is fine, but not exactly mandatory listening.

7/10

Live - Temple of the Dog

This is a random audience recording of Hunger Strike from a Lollapalooza in 1992. I would like a better recording, because Chris Cornell absolutely shreds those high notes and it is epic.

8/10

"Albums" listened to so far: 985

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WrestleMania March Madness, Day Nineteen: WrestleMania XIX

30 March 2003
Safeco Field
Seattle, Washington

Attendance: 54,097

Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry 'the King' Lawler, Michael Cole & Tazz

My thoughts before this viewing:
I saw this one not too long after watching the last WrestleMania, and like WrestleMania XVIII, I have very little recollection. I do recall it being similar to XVIII in terms of production, but I probably had less interest in this show as I was now further removed from the goings-on of the WWF (now called World Wrestling Entertainment - WWE - from this show onwards). Will it be as much of a struggle as last night's viewing? Or will your hero find entertainment from this world of wrestling? Or will he just end up re-enacting his own WrestleMania using a Dark Knight Mr. Potato-Head and some Transformers? That would be an interesting battle. Lindsay Lohan will be the guest referee and sing the national anthem, to which I will accompany her on synthesiser. Now to write a national anthem for the LOGMAN universe...

Oh, you're still here? Guess we better get on with this show so it's time that you know...

Opening Video Package
It's just the same as last year, only they have added comments from Brock Lesnar.
8/10

Oh yeah, there has been a 'brand split' between the shows, so we will have different commentary teams depending on the match. Make sense? There are also 2 world champions now - make even less sense?

Tazz is excited because he's "never been a part of anything like this before!". Except for the last 3 WrestleManias where he had matches in front of some larger crowds? Got it.

Opening Match
WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Rey Mysterio vs Matt Hardy v1 (c) (w/Shannon Moore)
Oh shit - it's Rey Mysterio dressed as Daredevil!

Let's hope he is more entertaining than that movie. And Matt Hardy v1 - complete with 'Matt Facts':

I liked this Matt Hardy. Then it became apparent he is a pathetic waste of space for a human being and I changed my mind. There was lots of cool flippy stuff in this match. Because that's what Rey Mysterio does.
Winner = Matt Hardy via pinfall while holding the ropes in true WrestleMania tradition
8/10

Backstage
Some girls arrive. They are apparently 'cat fight girl'. I am apparently 'not interested'.
-1/10

Musical Performance
It's "The WWE's favourite band in the whole world - LIMP BIZKIT!" Pity this is 2003 and no one else in the world agrees with the WWE. Fred Durst pulls the finger to the crowd. Um, okay? That makes you super cool, Fred. He, like the WWE, seems surprised that no one gives a shit about his band or the song Rollin'.
2/10

The Undertaker tries to make Fred Durst feel better and gives him a manly hug. He should have gone all Undertaker on him because his career is dead. Ha I am so funny!

2-on-1 Handicap Match
Undertaker vs Big Show & A-Train
A-train is really hairy. And has pierced nipples. That can't be too comfortable to wrestle with.

Winner = Undertaker via pinfall following tombstone piledriver
6/10

Backstage
The 'cat fight girls' meet up with Torrie Wilson and Stacy Keibler. I'm sure this will result in excitement.
-1/10

Jim Ross tells the US armed forces to beat up everyone in Iraq so they can come home. Fuck you and your war-mongering.

Triple Threat
WWE Women's Championship
Trish Stratus vs Jazz vs Victoria (c) (w/Steven Richards)

Jerry Lawler spends the entire match making jokes about PMS and threesomes, and just generally perving on the women. Good to know the WWE respect female athletes so much. Victoria is jacked! She could probably punch Lawler in the balls if she wanted. I think she should. Stupid old pervert.
Winner = Trish Stratus via pinfall following a kick or something
New Champion!
5/10

Backstage
Coach is with The Rock who is now a bad guy. He says Act 1 and 2 don't matter. Just like his first 2 movies don't matter.
8/10

Triple Threat
WWE Tag Team Championship
Chris Benoit & Rhyno vs Los Guerreros vs Team Angle (c)
Team Angle are very talented.

Chavo Guerrero is very talented. Eddie Guerrero is one of the all-time greats.

Chris Benoit is one of the all-time greats a psychotic killer.

Rhyno is just a fat sack of crap.

This was before Benoit's brain turned to mush, because he uses his intelligence to keep Rhyno out of the match as much as possible. Which means this match is awesome. And let's Benoit and Eddie do awesome stuff like this:

Winners = Team Angle via pinfall on Chavo Guerrero
9/10

Backstage
It's plastic women in skimpy clothing again. Now they are arguing. Jerry Lawler is so excited he is probably going to have a heart attack.
-3/10

Video Package
Chris Jericho used to worship Shawn Michaels but now plans on ending his career. That means Jericho will lose the match.
4/10

Shawn Michaels vs Chris Jericho
Hey look - Shawn Michaels is back from that 'career ending injury' again. Funny he was able to heal up perfectly in time for the departures of The Rock and 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin... His entrance took as long as his celebrations at the end of WrestleMania XII. And he doesn't know how to use confetti guns.
Winner = Shawn Michaels via pinfall following typical Shawn Michaels match
7/10

They hug... then Jericho kicks him in the balls.

That was awesome.

Backstage
A referee goes into Vince McMahon's office. OK...

Musical Performance
Limp Bizkit perform 'Crack Addict - this year's WrestleMania theme. Oh, I thought it was Jeff Hardy's new theme. My mistake...
5/10

Cat Fight
The women strip to their underwear and have a pillow fight. Why? Coach gets pantsed and then pinned.
Fuck.
You.
All.
-5/10

And to think, one of these women would go on to have a serious relationship with George Clooney.

Video Package
Booker T had a troubled youth; after his Mother passed away he found himself on the streets and eventully turned to crime, which resulted in a short jail sentence for burglary. But he has worked hard to get where he is today - he has never been handed anything in life. Unlike old big-nose cock face.
7/10

World Heavyweight Championship
Triple H (c) (w/Ric Flair) vs Booker T
This could be the feel good story of the night; a guy overcoming everything and working hard to turn his life around, who came from the bottom to finally become World Heavyweight Champion! Except HHH is a piece of shit and doesn't do feel good. Unless you mean him feeling good by hitting the pedigree and waiting 10 minutes to pin the guy with only one hand on him in the most disrespectful way possible.
Winner = Triple H via pinfall following pedigree
1/10
Fuck you, big nose.

Video Package
Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan made WrestleMania a success, but Vince thinks it was all him. Which would explain why almost every WrestleMania has sucked since Hulk Hogan left. Oh and Vince is still holding a grudge about that.
7/10

Street Fight
Hulk Hogan vs Vince McMahon
Oh, yay! Another McMahon match! This is just what I needed after all that garbage... Why is Hogan coming out to Jimi Hendrix and not Real American? So two old men beat each other to a bloody mess and who should come out? Why, it's another old man -'Rowdy' Roddy Piper!

The Curse of WrestleMania returns! He beats Hulk with a lead pipe... but guess what? Hogan 'hulks up'! Big boot, 3 leg drops of doom and fuck you, Vince.
Winner = Hulk Hogan via pinfall following 3 leg drops
5/10

Video Package
The Rock and 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin still hate each other. The 2nd best Limp Bizkit music video you will ever see.
9/10

'Stone Cold' Steve Austin vs The Rock
Yeah The Rock is still awesome. Even as a bad guy. He proves this by stealing Steve Austin's vest and talking trash to the crowd at every turn.

Winner = The Rock via pinfall following rock bottom
8/10

Video Package
Brock Lesnar has had to deal with swerve after swerve against Kurt Angle. I would take this more seriously if the music hadn't been lifted from a Star Wars video game.
6/10

WWE Championship
Brock Lesnar vs Kurt Angle (c)
Champ out first because oh stop it...
Michael Cole is losing his voice. Oh please please please please! Tazz calls Lesnar "the vanilla gorilla". Sounds like a white rapper. Or an ice cream flavour. Angle takes Lesnar to Funky Suplex Town.

And then Brock tries to murderise himself.

That Chris Benoit fellow is a bad influence on these guys. Brock manages to actually move some of his limbs again and Kurt tells him to hit his regular finisher so they can finish this match and both get to the hospital pronto.
Winner = Brock Lesnar via pinfall following shooting star face plant F-5
7/10

That was a great match until Brock landed on his face. Had he nailed it, that would have been an amazing WrestleMania moment. But now it really looks like he needs to get to the hospital. Kurt Angle already had neck surgery schedule for the next day - no joke. Because Kurt Angle is actually insane and I'm quite surprised he didn't Benoit someone himself. Brock and Kurt embrace as Brock's music plays to send us out.

What, no Limp Bizkit?


WrestleMania XIX: The Awards

1. Best Match
   Los Guerreros vs Chris Benoit & Rhyno vs Team Angle
   Not a major surprise that these guys put on an awesome match. Is surprising they did it with Rhyno.
2. Worst Match
   Triple H vs Booker T
   I best not write anything or I won't stop...
3. Highlight of the Show
   Brock Lesnar still being alive after the worst WrestleMania botch of all time. There is a reason this man became the UFC heavyweight champion.
4. Lowlight of the Show
   Four women engaging in the most pathetic pillow fight ever.
5. Star of the Show
   The Rock. Even as a bad guy he was incredible and he really was the key to the match with Austin being so fun.
6. Best Celebrity Appearance
   Damn - do Limp Bizkit get this award by default???
7. Worst Celebrity Appearance
   Fred Durst.
8. Tonight's Meal
   Tonight saw avocado, spinach, red onion, capsicum, cucumber, tomato topped with fried mushrooms and a quorn chicken patty, with a splash of sweet chilli sauce. Seriously so good. I continue on my voyage towards the Pepsi Next generation (what?) and the Oatmeal Creme Pie was quite tasty. That concerns me.
9. T-Shirt Cleanliness
   Not a lot of stains added tonight. Though I am not sure there is enough clean space left to create any more stains.
10. Overall Score
    This was a really good show. Other than the HHH/Booker T shitfest, every match was at least enjoyable and most were thoroughly entertaining. There was some absolutely awful filler with those catfight girls and Brock Lesnar trying to break his own neck certainly hurt the ending, but on the whole that was a good show. Now if they could actually get a good musical group like Run DMC again, things will be great!
    6.5 out of 10
    
    
    
    

WrestleMania March Madness, Day Seventeen: WrestleMania XVII

1 April 2001
Reliant Astrodome
Houston, Texas - USA

Attendance: 67,925

Commentators: Jim Ross & Paul Heyman

I told you I care not for how WWF wish to stylise these shows - Roman Numerals look better at all times.

My thoughts before this viewing:
This was the last WrestleMania I would watch on TV or as it happened until XXV. And my awesome BFF decided to ruin the results of the show before I had a chance to watch it. Awesome guy. He also spoiled some major plot points of Machete while I was in the middle of watching it. And people wonder why I don't bother having friends? I remember this show just looking huge - funny to see the promo last night where they said they were aiming to make this the biggest WrestleMania of all time, though it did miss out by about 25,000. Ironically, they are trying again next year - in Texas again, as well. I think a lot of fans still consider this the best WrestleMania of all time, but I'm not so nostalgic. This was 2001, after all, and I've just spent a week sitting through the worst WrestleManias of all time. Seriously. It has been a week since the awesome that was WrestleMania X and it's all been downhill since. This show better be somewhat watchable or I am going to have to start making up my own shows instead. Coming up at WrestleMania XIX: RoboCop takes on Godzilla in a battle to see who gets to go on a date with Lindsay Lohan. Spoiler alert: it's a swerve so Bret 'Hitman' Hart can take both guys out with a sharpshooter. I will get the date with Lindsay Lohan. She has Billy Joel lyrics tattooed on her arm and her surname is really close to my first name - we must be soul mates.

Do I really have to do this?

Fuck this show!

Sorry, just getting warmed up...

Opening Video Package
Hey, look - it's he history of WrestleMania! Who wouldn've thought... and apparently everyone around the world watches this with their loved ones. Or at least, everyone in stereotype world.
4/10

Limp Bizkit are poviding our music tonight, just so this show can permanently be dated in a time when that band was popular.

Video Package
Chris Jericho peed in William Regal's tea. Classy.
5/10

Opening Match
WWF Intercontinental Championship
Chris Jericho (c) vs William Regal

Jim Ross says William Regal has an "unusual style" - you mean wrestling?
Winner = Chris Jericho via pinfall following lionsault
7/10

Shane McMahon arrives in the WCW limo. Excitement!

Backstage
The Acolytes and Jacqueline are smoking cigars because that shows they are badass. Bradshaw is rattling off Texas things... or having a stroke. Either way, I hope he dies.
1/10

Tazz & The Acolytes (w/Jacqueline) vs Right to Censor

Jim Ross makes fun of Tazz for being short - WWF haven't yet implemented their anti-bullying campaign, I guess. The Godfather has seen the error of his ways and has now changed his name to Goodfather? So why hasn't his buddy Val Venis got a better name as well?
Winners = Tazz & The Acolytes via pinfall following clothesline from Bradshaw
5/10

Relive WrestleMania with the special edition magazine! You can buy that and other shitty things from their lame website. Or just read my fantastic blog!

They keep promoting Snickers. Makes me want a Snickers. I hate you guys...

Backstage
Stephanie McMahon encounters Trish Stratus who is wheeling Linda McMahon around in a wheelchair. Linda looks catatonic. Stephanie and Trish look good. None of that helps me understand what is going on.
2/10

Triple Threat Match
WWF Hardcore Championship
Kane vs Big Show vs Raven (c)

Kane must have healed some of those burns because he has new ring gear which exposes his arms. I guess winning all those wrestling matches earned him enough money to afford to some laser surgery. Pro-wrestling heals! In a shocking turn of events, a hardcore match ends up in a backstage brawl. Construction quality in Texas must be terrible because everything these guys touch totally falls to pieces. I've seen buildings made of Lego that hold up better. Kane runs over Raven with a golf cart. They just took out the drinks table - there are thirsty kids in Africa, you jerks! This shit must be really be boring for the people in the arena who can't see what's going on.
Winner = Kane via pinfall following hardcore nonsense
3/10

Backstage
Kurt Angle is going all psycho killer when Edge & Christian try to talk to him. All this wrestling Chris Benoit has been a bad influence on him...
4/10

In The Crowd
Coach is talking to some fat chick from Australia. Her message to the world is that stupid 'Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie' chant.
1/10

The Rock arrives backstage and the crowd boos. Stupid rednecks.

WWF European Championship
Test (c) vs Eddie Guerrero (w/Perry Saturn)
Perry Saturn came prepared to party.

Always come prepared to party.
Winner = Eddie Guerrero via pinfall following shenanigans
New Champion!
5/10

Backstage
Michael Cole talks to Mick Foley, who will be the special referee for the Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon match. This dude has a sad obsession with being a referee. Five bucks says he gets beaten up at some point.
5/10

'Stone Cold' Steve Austin arrives backstage and the crowd cheers. Stupid rednecks.

Chris Benoit vs Kurt Angle

Kurt Angle is such a great bad guy; he is an American Olympic gold-medalist who comes out adorned in red, white & blue and he is up against a Canadian... and he still gets the crowd to boo him. In Texas. Benoit looks like a stone cold killer. Too soon? The commentators rave about Benoit being an undefeated WCW champion. They don't mention he was undefeated because he won the title and then quit the company 12 hours later. So unless Ric Flair was going to follow him to the airport and get someone to authorise a championship match in the food court, it was going to be pretty hard to defeat him for the title.
Winner = Kurt Angle via pinfall while holding the tights
9/10

Backstage
Michael Cole follows William Regal to his office, where he finds Kamala looking for a belly rub.
1/10

The WWF had some rally or something with the US Army. The army guys show no respect for Kurt Angle - an actual American hero! How rude.

Backstage
Kevin Kelly talks to Kurt Angle. He declares he is the best so Chris Benoit attacks him and leaves a bible next to his body. That Benoit has some anger problems - you guys should probably get him some help before he hurts someone.
6/10

I think there is a special section of hell reserved for people like me..

Video Package
Ivory and Right to Censor hurt Chyna's neck and possibly ended her career. Much like that burnt retina?
2/10

WWF Women's Championship
Chyna vs Ivory (c)
Chyna murderises Ivory so much I think her last name is Benoit.
Winner = Chyna via pinfall following Ultimate Warrior impression
4/10

What? There is a special Kurt Angle pay-per-view show???

In The Crowd
Coach talks to some Texan footballers. No, wait - they are baseball players. Shows how much I care.

Backstage
Vince McMahon is with Linda, Stephanie and Trish. Michael Cole interrupts so Vince promises another swerve. Oh fuck you.
2/10

Video Package
Vince is having an affair with Trish - oh, that makes sense. I still don't know why Linda is catatonic. Or why this bullshit is on TV. Shane is defending his Mother's honour and bought WCW to annoy Vince.
6/10

Street Fight
Shane McMahon vs Vince McMahon
Guest Referee: Mick Foley
McMahon vs McMahon yet again? Was I Chris Benoit in my previous life? Or maybe I should stop making Benoit jokes...
I always wonder what the Spanish commentary must be like once their table gets destroyed and they lose their monitors; do they make up the rest of the action? Or do they just bitch about WWF always doing this to them at every show?
Guess what?

Trish turns on Vince, which leads to a rumble between her and Stephanie. Oh look, Stephanie slapped Mick Foley. Then Vince beats him with a chair. You can leave the $5 for me on your way out. Now Linda is out of her coma? She kicks Vince in the balls. Foley beats him up some more. Then Shane finishes him off.
Winner = Shane McMahon via pinfall following swerve city
6/10

WWF Axxess
Kevin Kelly decides the Hardy Boyz don't need to talk to the fans that have paid good money and waited all day to meet them - they should instead answer his questions really badly. That's OK, Jeff probably would have just tried to sell them drugs. He thinks this match could end his career. Are there police in the crowd?
2/10

TLC - Tables, Ladders & Chairs
WWF Tag Team Championship
The Hardy Boyz vs Edge & Christian vs The Dudley Boyz
Well, now - doesn't this look familiar... The only difference is the Hardy Boyz now wear mesh tops because they are studs. And it isn't just a ladder match - this time tables and chairs have been added. Even though they were totally used last time. But this shit just got a lot crazier:

Winners = Edge & Christian via survival again
New Champions!
Even the same result as last time - the other teams should stop signing up for these matches against Edge & Christian.
9/10

More Axxess stuff. I guess WWF really wants to make sure you pay to go next year. Just avoid meeting wrestlers when Kevin Kelly is interviewing them. And don't buy drugs from Jeff Hardy. Or do? He's probably got good shit. Then don't accept a bible from Chris Benoit.

Gimmick Battle Royal
Here comes Bobby 'the Brain' Heenan and 'Mean' Gene Okerlund to call the action. Oh yes please! Keep them out for the rest of the show, if you want.

Oh and here come The Bushwhackers with their wacky New Zealand stomp.

Fuck you. Earthquake is actually now slimmer than The Iron Sheik; not just because Earthquake has lost weight, but The Iron Sheik has gotten fat. His math does suck, so he probably isn't very good at counting calories.
Winner = The Iron Shiek via being old and fat
1/10

Sgt. Slaughter shows true classic good guy sportsmanship and beats up the Iron Shiek

Video Package
Triple H started shit with The Undertaker, who is now a badass red-headed biker that listens to Limp Bizkit. They didn't actually say that in the video, I just thought you should know. They've also taken the "The" from his name.
6/10

Musical Performance
Motorhead play Triple H's theme as he walks out. Triple H sure has shitty taste in live bands.
3/10

Undertaker vs Triple H
Undertaker rides his motorcycle to the ring because he is a badass biker dude and Limp Bizkit is playing. Seriously - Rollin' is his new theme. Apparently the H bomb destroyed Undertaker's other motorcycle - probably should have shown that in the video package, or would that provide the viewer with too much backstory to a match?
Winner = Undertaker via pinfall following last ride powerbomb
6/10

In The Crowd
Coach talks to some stupid teenager that sucks at photoshop. Just look at the pile of shit he created:

Stick to using your parents' computer for minesweeper and downloading from Napster.

Video Package
The best Limp Bizkit music video you will ever see.
10/10

WWF Championship
'Stone Cold' Steve Austin vs The Rock (c)
This match has just been made 'No Disqualification'. There have been weapons and cheating in every match tonight - what would have made this any different? The Rock gets Austin in a sharpshooter and the referee makes him break the hold. In a no disqualification match?

Did you guys just conveniently forget about that while planning this match? Both men beat the absolute snot out of each other and Austin tries every trick in his bag of tricks but he just can't put The Rock away. Which means it is time for the...

Vince McMahon comes down and helps Steve Austin beat the crap out of The Rock with a chair.

Winner = 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin via steel chair beat down
New Champion!
9/10

And the crowd cheers. Stupid rednecks. Austin beats up The Rock some more and then has a few beers with Vince McMahon while the shitty Disturbed version of his theme plays to send us out.

WrestleMania XVII: The Awards

1. Best Match
   Chris Benoit vs Kurt Angle
   And it wasn't even the best match they ever had. Think about that for a minute...
2. Worst Match
   The Gimmick Battle Royal
   While Bobby Heenan and 'Mean' Gene were a welcome addition to the show, all the 'gimmicks' in the battle royal were garbage.
3. Highlight of the Show
   A main event with 4 sharpshooters. If any of them had been performed by Bret Hart, best believe this world would have imploded from the awesome.
4. Lowlight of the Show
   Like last year, the McMahon family drama. My caring for that disappeared about 15 years ago.
5. Star of the Show
   The Rock. Very close call between him and Steve Austin, but I feel like The Rock just had that bit of charisma that no one can match. Not even Austin. Despite what this redneck crowd wanted to think.
6. Best Celebrity Appearance
   Were there any? I didn't notice any of relevance.
7. Worst Celebrity Appearance
   Any third rate American sports people that appeared and talked nonsense. And maybe Motorhead, too.
8. Tonight's Meal
   Tonight it was back to the solid hoki fillet wrap with avocado, spinach, tomato, red onion and tartare sauce. Pepsi Next has really become my beverage of choice for these long shows. The Oatmeal Creme Pie was quite good tonight.
9. T-Shirt Cleanliness
   The t-shirt didn't fare too poorly this evening, as I only spilled a couple of things here and there. But avocado has a tendency to go that gross brown colour...
10. Overall Score
    Finally! This show is even better than I remember - a lot of excitement and fun. The only problems were the ending (doing that in Texas was a stupid mistake as they would cheer anything Steve Austin did) and quite frankly, the length of the show. Had they cut out a few things to make it 3 hours it would have been so much better. But still great to break the week of terrible shows with a WrestleMania to be proud of. If you take pride in a show dedicated to sweaty men rolling around together in their underpants.
    7.5 out of 10