2025 in 2025: Day 176

Three Imaginary Boys - The Cure

The Cure are one of my favourite bands of all time. Easily in my top 10. They have some incredibly epic albums full of emotion, but also effortlessly switch between pop rock fun and nihilistic despair. This album is nothing of the sort.

Highlights: Grinding Halt, Another Day, 10:15 Saturday Night, Three Imaginary Boys

6/10

Thriller - Michael Jackson

Hot take: this is not MJ's best album. However, Beat It and Billie Jean are just such phenomenal songs that it meant this album sold a bajillion copies. Dangerous and Bad do not feature awful collaborations with Paul McCartney, so they are infinitely better. The worst part is that other song he did with McCartney is actually a good song!

Highlights: Beat It, Billie Jean, Human Nature, Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'

8/10

Throwing Copper - Live

Every song is either Quiet LOUD Quiet, or Quiet Quiet LOUD. Except for Waitress - which is LOUD Quiet LOUD, for some weird reason. It is all fine and dandy, but nothing overly exceptional that has made me go out of my way to listen to this in the last 30 years.

Highlights: Top, Pillar of Davidson, White Discussion, Iris

7/10

Tidal - Fiona Apple

Fiona Apple is the lyricist Swifties think their cult leader is. I may appreciate her angst and subsequent vocal performance on When the Pawn... more, but boy howdy this album has some pretty deep emotions. 

Highlights: Criminal, Sullen Girl, Never is a Promise, Pale September

8/10

Tiffany - Tiffany

Sadly, I do not have the full album - just I Think We're Alone Now. I am not sure why I do not have at least the other singles. Because I am lame, that is why!

8/10

Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper

This is only The Goonies 'R' Good Enough - for obvious reasons! I should watch that movie again one day.

8/10

Timeless: New Recordings Honoring The Music Of Hank Williams - Various Artists

This is just Ryan Adams' cover of Lovesick Blues. He puts on his most irritating fake country voice for this one...

5/10

Tiny Music...Songs From The Vatican Gift Shop - Stone Temple Pilots

I love Weiland's voice on this album - he has gone for a bit more of a raspy glam rock kind of vibe and it really suits the way everything comes together, because musically it has bit of a glam rock vibe as well. Like, total peak art school Led Zeppelin tribute act vibes. And I mean that in the most complimentary of ways.

Highlights: Lady Picture Show, Trippin' On a Hole in a Paper Heart, Seven Caged Tigers, Tumble in the Rough

8/10

To the 5 Boroughs - Beastie Boys

Oh snap the boys are back! Just straight-up NYC hip-hop. War is bad. George W. Bush is a clown. Racism and bigotry are bad. Sampling Sonic Reducer is the greatest idea ever and I will forgive them for using it to tell me how great New York is.

Highlights: An Open Letter to NYC, Right Right Now Now, Rhyme the Rhyme Well, Time to Build

8.5/10

TO THE DREAM - The Tomboys

As indie as ever, but even more catchy. And fun. 

Highlights: Tell Me Why, I GOTTA GO, SATURDAY NIGHT

7/10

The The Extreme - Vanilla Ice

V.I.P. in the house! I unironically love still enjoy the enjoy the bejeebus out of this album; sure, the rhymes are corny, but there are plenty of James Brown samples, fun old school grooves, and Vanilla's silly rapping is part of the charm. I still need to find that third version of Play That Funky Music...

Highlights: Ice Ice Baby, Ice is Workin' It, Dancin', Go Ill

8/10

To Whom It May Concern - Lisa Marie Presley

Lisa Marie's debut album, featuring some pretty standard pop country rock stylings - kind of like a modern take on where her Dad left off, I guess? Some surprisingly decent songs to be found. I need to remember to give this a closer listen again some time...

Highlights: Lights Out, S.O.B., Nobody Noticed It, So Lovely

7/10

Today - George Harrison

Another George Harrison bootleg of randomness. Mostly collaborations and whatnot. And I have most of them on other albums? And I am not 100% convinced he actually performs on some of them. 

Highlights: Power to the People, Your True Love (Live - Carl Perkins' Memorial Service), Horse to the Water

6.5/10

Today (Legacy Edition) - Elvis Presley

One of The King's final albums and highly underrated; still not too dissimilar to the rest of his 70s output, but it is mostly fun and Elvis feels like he put a bit of effort it. The opening track is such an old school rock'n roll kind of groove, I cannot help but love it. The undubbed versions are not too different - except you can hear Elvis getting the giggles during Susan When She Tried.

Highlights: T-R-O-U-B-L-E, Pieces of My Life, Fairytale, Shake a Hand

7.5/10

"Albums" listened to so far: 1714

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2025 in 2025: Day 161

The Shady/Aftermath Sampler - Various Artists

The bonus disc that came with the 8 Mile soundtrack; like the title suggests, a bunch of artists yet to debut on Eminem's label. And Eminem himself. I would have preferred another D12 EP.

Highlights: Rap Name - Obie Trice, Stimulate - Eminem

6/10

Shamrocks and Shenanigans (Single) - House of Pain

Oh wow, I forgot what the album version of this song sounded like - I always listen to the Butch Vig remix.

Highlights: Shamrocks And Shenanigans (Butch Vig Mix), Put Your Head Out (Album Version), Shamrocks and Shenanigans (Salaam Main Pass)

7/10

Shangri-La Dee Da - Stone Temple Pilots

This is the album I always forget exists, but apparently it rocks hard? And I actually know the songs well, so have clearly listened to it a lot?

Highlights: Coma, Days of the Week, Wonderful, Too Cool Queenie

7/10

She's So Unusual - Cyndi Lauper

Peak Lauper; this would be around the time she was being awesome at WrestleMania as well. She is like a fantastic combination of 80s pop and punk aesthetics.

Highlights: All Through the Night, Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Time After Time, She Bop

8.5/10

Sheer Heart Attack - Queen

Such an inbetween album - as in, crammed between Queen II and A Night at the Opera. How does a band manage to record and release three albums like that in the space of 2 years? By being Queen, that is how! This is kind of the filling to the sandwich, and the more epic albums are the bread? Feels a bit more standard 70s UK glam rock - not entirely, just compared to those albums.

Highlights: In the Lap of the Gods... Revisted, Now I'm Here, Killer Queen, Stone Cold Crazy

8/10

Shenanigans - Green Day

Not an album based on the song by The Shit. I think it is a collection of random outtakes and rarities. It all just makes me miss the old version of Green Day, because this just all sounds like that weird period from Nimrod to before American Idiot where it all sounds the same. Huh, apparently there are some b-sides from Dookie and Insomniac as well? No wonder they were only b-sides.

Highlights: Ha Ha You're Dead, Sick of Me

6/10

Shift - ユアネス

Heartfelt virtuoso indie rock. Very much reminds me of RADWIMPS. 

Highlights: 日々、月を見る, 凩, 少年少女をやめてから

8/10

The Shit - The Shit

Quickfire country songs. Mostly about being dead? And we cannot forget the whistles and roosters!

Highlights: Breaking in to Houses (Just To Look), You're Dead and I'm Alone

7/10

Shoot From the Hip - Sophie Ellis-Bextor

Not the disco masterpiece that was Read My Lips, but more of an 80s influenced pop album. Which was kind of ahead of the curve, because the 80s new wave sound would not be back en vogue for another few years. Strangely enough, the songs that are more straight guitar driven pop are actually the best. 

Highlights: I Am Not Good at Not Getting What I Want, Party in My Head, I Won't Change You, Mixed Up World

7/10

Shout at the Devil - Mötley Crüe

We kick off with some spoken-word nonsense, because they are trying to make the heavy metal version of Thriller or something. Except this guy is not Vincent Price. And Mötley Crüe are not Michael Jackson. Though I could actually imagine Tommy Lee jamming with him. The rest of the album is pure dark badassery that invokes imagery of these dudes just murdering their instruments. While wearing black leather and makeup. 

Highlights: Knock 'Em Dead Kid, Shout at the Devil, Looks That Kill, Too Young to Fall in Love, Ten Seconds to Love

9.5/10

Show - The Cure

As much of a fan of The Cure as I am, I do not really have that much love for these live albums. The vocals are always lacking and songs are often very fast. That said, I am yet to hear a bad live version of Fascination Street.

Highlights: Fascination Street, Never Enough, Open, Pictures of You

7/10

Show Me the Right Way - Annabel Fay

Thankfully this is only one song - Already Home. I have zero interest in the rest of the album. I barely have any interest in this song.

7/10

SHOWCASE - Pile

Talk about big heavy guitars - some of these songs are borderline thrash, but then those dancey pop beats make it... something else. It is mostly fairly by the numbers, but Pile's vocals at least lift a few of the songs emotionally.

Highlights: Cliche, Brownie Kiss, Go My Way, Lost Paradise

6.5/10

Shred - Various Artists

I am not a snowboarder, so I do not know if this music would make for a good soundtrack while "shredding" a mountainside. However, I will say that these late 90s/early 00s dance jams and remixes of dance jams will provide you with some solid upbeat energy to do what you need to do; dancing, raving, gaming, doing the housework, taking ecstasy and going to the supermarket. Whatever you deem appropriate.

Highlights: What's On Your Mind (Milk & Sugar Remix) - Wackside, Reach Out - Midfield General (Featuring Linda Lewis), Theme From "Gutbuster" - Bentley Rhythm Ace

6.5/10

Siamese Dream - Smashing Pumpkins

You know, this is a really hard album to grade; musically it is an absolute tour de force and a testament to the production of Butch Vig, however vocally it is the sonic equivalent of having a frozen metal spoon forced up your nasal cavity.

Highlights: Cherub Rock, Mayonaise, Geek U.S.A., Luna

7/10

"Albums" listened to so far: 1500

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2025 in 2025: Day 30

The Bridge - Billy Joel

This surely has to be Joel's most 80s sounding album, production-wise; the guitars on A Matter of Trust sound so thin and there is a fair bit of synthesizer in Running On Ice. A little bit of Cyndi Lauper is always welcome. And some Ray Charles, though he is more timeless than 80s, I guess. And Liberty DeVitto's drums still sounds aggressive, so maybe I'm just full of it and don't really know what I'm talking about?

Highlights: A Matter of Trust, Modern Woman, Code of Silence

6.5/10

Briefcase Full of Blues - The Blues Brothers

This is a live album from that legendary rhythm and blues act, The Blues Brothers. Must have been recorded before Jake went to jail? He sounds half in the bag, which only adds to how polished and downright solid the band sound. 

Highlights: Messin' with the Kid, I Don't Know, Flip Flop and Fly

6/10

Bring Ya to the Brink - Cyndi Lauper

Back to 2008? And more Cyndi Lauper? And she's doing full on dance music? I've always kind of dug this album; it isn't her best work or anything, and vocally she kind of phoned it in, in my opinion, but it still works. Because Cyndi Lauper is super cool and can do whatever she wants.

Highlights: Into the Nightlife, Same Ol' Story, Give it Up, Grab a Hold

7/10

BRING YOUR BOARD!! - ELLEGARDEN

It's 7am on a snowy Wednesday morning and I'm eating budget pizza purely because of this album. Surf's up, mofos! This may not be the greatest album on the planet, but I'll be darned if it isn't trying. The first half is probably the best 15 minutes you could ever have, outside of Jet Li beating up some fools.

Highlights: Surfrider Association, No. 13, ジターバグ, Insane

9/10

Bringing Down the Horse - The Wallflowers

This feels so quiet after that! I don't think I have listened to this album in at least 20 years; it was totally my jam in '98 and I remember busking a few songs from it back in the day, but over time I forgot how good it was? At least, how good some of the songs are. Like, it is all just harmless radio-friendly pop-rock like Matchbox 20, but with less emotion. I'd really like to hear Bob Dylan sing Josephine. 

Highlights: 6th Avenue Heartache, Bleeders, Angel on My Bike

6.5/10

Broadcast - Cutting Crew

As expected, this is purely the hit single (I Just) Died in Your Arms. Classic 80s.

7/10

Broadcast to the World - Zebrahead

I'm fairly sure this was the first album with this lineup - which seems to be the only Zebrahead lineup I like. And this is that lineup's weakest album. It's... fine? A few stand-out songs, but nothing that ever reaches the heights of their next couple of albums. I have the Japanese release, and the bonus songs from that are possibly better than anything on the actual album!

Highlights: Broadcast to the World, Postcards From Hell, Here's to You, Down in Flames

6.5/10

"Albums" listened to so far: 249

WrestleMania March Madness, Day Thirty: WrestleMania XXX

6 April 2014
Mercedes-Benz Superdome
New Orleans, Louisiana - USA

Attendance: 75,167

Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry 'the King' Lawler & JBL

My thoughts before this viewing:
I remember this being similar to the previous WrestleMania; two long matches (one involving Triple H, of course) and a few short filler matches to make up the four hours. Except this time there wasn't an awesome Undertaker match to distract for the boring. Because I am playing on expert level, I will sit through the tiresome two-hour preshow as well - that will take this evening's viewing to six hours. Wow, this show better be better than I remember...

Opening Video Package
History of WrestleMania... and a wrestlers mardi gras? Sure, why not. Let Layla earn some beads...
6/10

In The Ring
Tonight's host is Hulk Hogan - does that make him the new Triple H? Host Hulk Hogan? It doesn't matter what you want to call him; he thinks this is 1987 and forgets he is in the Superdome, calling it the Silverdome. Twice. So 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin comes out to make fun of him. Austin himself seems to think Hogan main evented WrestleMania X. Not unless he put on a giant fat suit or secretly became the greatest wrestler in the history of forever. So The Rock comes out because he realises he can't make silly mistakes like these guys and wants to join in on the fun. Give it up now, WrestleMania XXX - you've already peaked.
10/10

Video Package
Daniel Bryan has no personality and is just a "B+ player", so he can't be the face of WWE. He looked so much better without the beard and with shorter hair. Silly hippy.
8/10

Opening Match
Winner will be added to the main event
Daniel Bryan vs Triple H
Stephanie McMahon is dressed like a magician's assistant.

Maybe she could perform an illusion to make the H bomb disappear? No such luck - he is out again on his throne and wearing some ridiculous costume like he is Skeletor in He-Man of the Year 5000 like he thinks this is the main event already.

Seriously, dude, you aren't in a death metal band. And you are not cool. Jerry Lawler accuses JBL of drinking "milk from forgetful cows". Seriously. Stephanie seems to have upped her dose of annoying pills today. And the H bomb is stealing moves from Chris Benoit because he idolises killers? Or he is just a douche that is going to rob from the guy because he was a better wrestler and has now been removed from WWE history as much as possible. Yeah, most likely that one.
Winner = Daniel Bryan via pinfall following knee to the face
8/10

Triple H beats up Daniel Bryan after the match because he's seen every WrestleMania like me and knows that is what makes a great hero. Except the crowd boo him - they must be new to this.

The Shield vs The New Age Outlaws & Kane
The New Age Outlaws are old. So is Kane, who has lost his mask and hair again. He is also now wearing business pants to the ring. He looks stupid. And old. The Shield powerbomb the Outlaws at the same time and JBL calls it "a Century of powerbombs" because that is the combined age of the Outlaws. That's actually funny, JBL. You have made now made one humorous quip in all the WrestleManias you have appeared at. I look forward to your second one at WrestleMania 53.
Winners = The Shield via pinfall following powerbomb thing
8/10

Backstage
All the old timers and playing with toys, so The Million Dollar Man buys them all. He has the Million Dollar belt again - did he beat Steve Austin and get it back? Why wasn't that match on this show?
1/10

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
This is a grand collection of people I didn't even realise still work here. Cesaro owns this by eliminating everyone that matters in an entertaining fashion.

Winner = Cesaro via eliminating people
6/10

WWE now has a French commentary table. I wonder how long before that gets destroyed?

Video Package
John Cena's legacy is on the line. Does that make sense? Is it some kind of stipulation, where if Bray Wyatt wins he gets to own John Cena's legacy and sell it on ebay or paint it a different colour? I'd give it to my cats to play with.
7/10

John Cena vs Bray Wyatt
Bray Wyatt gets a 'Triple H' level entrance, complete with some weird dancer and then some crappy band mostly lip-syncing his theme song. It is long and boring. But not as long and boring as the match.
Winner = John Cena via pinfall following attitude adjustment
3/10

Hall of Fame highlights. They skip the part where they cut of Mr. T's speech. Rude jerks!

Now this year's inductees are introduced on stage. Paul Bearer's sons are as fat as he was. Ultimate Warrior looks emotional; he would actually pass away the next evening. Weird how the world works...

Video Package
'The Streak' is unbeatable. But Brock Lesnar is a merciless beast. And Paul Heyman is so awesome.
10/10

Undertaker vs Brock Lesnar
Undertaker now claims 21 men have fallen in the streak - it is now actually 18. Beating the H bomb a total of 3 times does not equal 3 different men. Between this and the constant claims of WrestleMania starting 30 years ago, WWE would be well served to spend less on pyro and hire a math tutor. The Undertaker is also known as The Dead Man, but he is the healthiest looking dead man possible. Is his coffin a tanning bed?
Winner = Brock Lesnar via pinfall following a third F-5
The crowd were counting along with the pin thinking it was a nearfall and when it hit the 3, no one counted along. It was replaced with a huge gasp.
6/10

The crowd look like their entire worlds have come crumbling down.

Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational
This is one pin to a finish, so I guess it isn't going to be a 40 minute epic then...

AJ Lee should be happy - she is the only other champion to actually make the show. Pretty sad fact that there are six championships in this company and this is second most important. The Bella Twins can't even double team without looking completely terrible. The commentators care more about people crying on twitter about The Undertaker losing than this match. Imagine that.
Winner = AJ Lee via octopus submission thing
2/10

Backstage
'Mean' Gene Okerlund is enjoying the show! He is joined by the least active host since Kim Kardashian, Hulk Hogan. 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff come in and complain about the main event of the first WrestleMania. Orndorff looks like he's from the wild west with the greatest moustache since the Iron Sheik. Mr. T pities these fools and they all decide to shake hands and bury the hatchet. Dammit! I was hoping for a rematch.
5/10

Bruno Sammartino is here!

 And so is Bret 'Hitman' Hart!

Can I please sit with them???

Musical Performance
The shitty band that play Randy Orton's theme are here and the veins in the singer's forehead are bulging like this sucking takes a lot of effort. Even Randy Orton looks unimpressed with their suckitude.
3/10

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Oh yeah, there is only one belt now. Well, there are two but they are combined. It makes no sense. At least there are no longer two champions.
Daniel Bryan vs Batista vs Randy Orton (c)
This is filled with so much screwy nonsense you'd think we were back at WrestleMania XV. Remember that? I still have nightmares about it. One day I might watch it again as a form of punishment for not clocking Super Mario Bros. 3. Triple H must have realised he wasn't in the main event so had to come out and get involved, bringing with him a crooked referee and his trusty sledgehammer. But Daniel Bryan overcomes it all to finally get his special moment he has fought for his entire career and the fans have demanded for about a year. And it's probably good he won because after The Undertaker's loss, if Bryan had lost as well there may have been a mass suicide in New Orleans. And then this WWE network would have been screwed and WWE would be ruined.
Curses, WWE! Why didn't you just go with your original plan!!!
Winner = Daniel Bryan via submission on Batista
New Champion!
8/10

Daniel Bryan celebrates while his theme plays on a continuous loop to send us out.

WrestleMania XXX: The Awards

1. Best Match
   Daniel Bryan vs Batista vs Randy Orton
   I really didn't think they would actually go through with having Daniel Bryan win, and I like to be surprised.
2. Worst Match
   Vickie Guerrero Invitational for the Divas Championship
   There were 14 women involved and the name of the match was stupid enough. We've come a long way from the first WrestleMania, when Cyndi Lauper and Wendi Richter actually entertained me.
3. Highlight of the Show
   The complete devastation rippling through the crowd when The Undertaker's WrestleMania streak was beaten. I marked out when The Rock joined 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin and Hulk Hogan in the ring, but just seeing 70,000 people in disbelief and on the verge of tears appeals to the complete bastard in me.
4. Lowlight of the Show
   Old wrestlers playing with toys. Especially seeing Ricky 'the Dragon' Steamboat continue to think he is Bruce Lee. But especially seeing Uncle Alan 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan shirtless in his wrestling gear.
5. Star of the Show
   Daniel Bryan. This was his night to put on some kickass matches and finally get his reward as the champion. Shame it took CM Punk walking out and the crowd near revolting for 3 months to make this happen, but at least they got there in the end.
6. Best Celebrity Appearance
   Mr. T. You were expecting someone else?.
   
7. Worst Celebrity Appearance
   Hugh Jackman. Notice I didn't mention him at all in this? He was supposed to be the "Social Media Ambassador" yet the only thing he did was send a tweet an hour before the show saying he was excited to be the Social Media Ambassador. He worked hard for his money.
   
8. Tonight's Meal
   Tonight I tried something different and cooked some corn fritters to add to the usual veges (hummus, spinach, kale, tomato, capsicum, red onion and cucumber) topped with fried mushrooms and sweet chilli sauce. Was good. This was a long show so Pepsi Next was well needed, though not as much as I expected. The Chips Ahoy! with Reese's peanut butter cups never get old.
9. T-Shirt Cleanliness
   I'm on the tail end of things so I'm not even being careful anymore. Tomorrow I'll probably use it as a napkin - though that might make my face dirtier.
10. Overall Score
    Good show! Certainly better than I originally thought, though still a poor balance of things. Only two title matches, and that John Cena/Bray Wyatt match should have been a day shorter so they could have added something fun or given The Shield a few more minutes. Or even new opponents, because they brilliantly stuck them with the oldest guys possible. It didn't hurt them, I guess - you'll see that tomorrow. But if you don't end this show with a smile on your face then you obviously have no soul. Or are Triple H. In which case my original argument still stands.
    6 out of 10
    
    
    
    
    

WrestleMania March Madness, Day One: WrestleMania

31 March 1985
Madison Square Garden
New York City, New York - USA
Attendance: 19,121

Commentators: Jesse Ventura and Gorilla Monsoon

My thoughts before this viewing:
I have actually only seen this event once before - and that first viewing was only about 4 years ago. Bizarre to think that someone so obsessed with pro-wrestling at various points in their life would have not seen the first WrestleMania until then. But it is what it is. I enjoyed it when I watched it, which was also a highly edited version - the edits annoyed me to no end. Hopefully this is just as enjoyable the second time around.

Opening Video Package
And I have already spilled some veges on my t-shirt...

Tiny montage the likes someone could make in MS Paint. I made something similar when I wanted a great Miami Vice desktop wallpaper and couldn't find anything out there that interested me. The background music for this is awesome. I didn't make anything like this for my Miami Vice desktop wallpaper, mainly because the music in Miami Vice was awesome. This theme would have fit in nicely on Miami Vice.

I could totally go for some Miami Vice after this.
What? I have to watch 30 more WrestleManias? Pretty sure the Miami Vice vibe would have passed by then - I won't bother getting my DVDs out of storage, then.
5/10

National Anthem Time
To get us under way, here is 'Mean' Gene Okerlund to sing the American national anthem. Accapella. And it is quite obvious he does not have perfect pitch. Or good timing. Unless he is actually trying to sing this as fast as possible to get it over and done with. I applaud your decision, Gene!
Jesse Ventura just compared him to Robert Goulet. I don't remember Gene Okerlund guesting on The Simpsons and Two Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place...
4/10

Lord Alfred Hayes looks petrified as he opens "Wrestling Mania".

Backstage
'Mean' Gene talks to Tito Santana who says he is going to win. This is followed by The Executioner who is awful and stumbles on all his lines. Apparently he wants to make it clear to Tito that he is a "big leaguer"
3/10

Opening Match

Tito Santana vs The Executioner
The Executioner is from Parts Unknown. His weight is unknown. His height is unknown. How the hell did this guy get a wrestling license if no one knows anything about him?
Jesse Ventura just compared WrestleMania to Woodstock. Sure, I guess - Woodstock was all about peace and love, while WrestleMania is all about beating each other up. Totally the same. And where are all the naked hippies?
The crowd is super excited here. Like, really excited. It is fun.
Winner = Tito Santana via figure 4 leglock
Simple fun match.
6/10

You know that video of that little fat kid on camera who just looks like he is super happy but crapping his pants at the same time? Well, imagine that with an old guy and you have Lord Alfred Hayes as he hangs out around the entrance to the arena.

Backstage
'Mean' Gene with Special Delivery (S.D.) Jones. Funky black dudes always win the promo wars. Then King Kong Bundy comes in and yells a lot about squashing him
7/10

SD Jones vs King Kong Bundy (w/Jimmy Hart)
Bundy is billed at 458 pounds but the announcers aren't buying it - they think he's closer to 500!
I think maybe 200 instead, but I'm not exactly an expert.
Bundy won with a splash before I could even think of that joke. That's why it is so unfunny.
Winner = King Kong Bundy via pinfall following big splash
3/10

Now Gorilla thinks Bundy weighs over 500 pounds. Bundy must have consumed SD Jones' soul when he beat him. Or perhaps the 'Special Delivery' means he brought pizza for everyone. Except Bundy ate them all. Selfish jerk

Lord Alfred Hayes returns to give himself a heart attack.

Backstage
'Mean' Gene with Matt Borne who can't stop pointing. Must be his gimmick. Ricky Steamboat then comes out and cuts a promo featuring the first 'brother' of the night.
4/10

Ricky Steamboat vs Matt Borne
Glorified squash match. Minus the glory.
Winner = Ricky Steamboat via pinfall following cross body block off the top rope
5/10

Back to Lord Alfred Hayes. I just realised he is holding a WrestleMania programme and is shaking like a washing machine on extra spin.
Brutus Beefcake just walked past and yelled at him for being in his way. Brutus Beefcake is awesome.

Backstage
'Mean' Gene with David Sammartino and his father, Bruno Sammartino. Bruno is fucking awesome even in a faded mustard jacket that Vince McMahon obviously made him wear "Here, Bruno I'm not appearing on the show tonight so I wouldn't want wrestling fans to think our broadcasters have any sense of style."
'Luscious' Johnny Valiant talks for Brutus which is stupid because Brutus is awesome. Gene tells them all to shut up and leave.
3/10

David Sammartino (w/Bruno Sammartino) vs Brutus Beefcake (w/Luscious Johnny Valiant)
Beefcake and Valiant have changed outfits since their interview. So has Bruno. In fact, Bruno is wearing such an old man jumper that it looks like he just came from reading the newspaper in Central Park after losing a game of chess to a wise old Chinese man. Bruno wouldn't take that crap and bodyslammed the old Chinese dude into a retirement home, hence the relaxing with a newspaper before heading to WrestleMania and winding down by beating up some bad guys.

David Sammartino is wider than a really wide thing. His shortness only helps to accentuate it.
Beefcake is on all fours and Jesse mentions the crowd are getting a good view...
Bad guys cheat and Bruno doesn't stand for that so he beats them up, which leads to the match being thrown out.
OK back and forth match, but really just an excuse to get Bruno on the show.
As well he should be.
Double disqualification
5/10

Back to Lord Alfred Hayes and Jimmy Hart just laughs at him. I do too.

Backstage
'Mean' Gene talks to Greg 'the Hammer' Valentine and Jimmy Hart. They say nothing and leave. Junkyard Dog comes in and says nothing. Well, nothing I can understand - except he wants a bone...
1/10

WWF Inter-Continental Heavyweight Championship
Junkyard Dog vs Greg 'the Hammer' Valentine (c) (w/Jimmy Hart)

JYD comes out to Another One Bites the Dust so he is immediately the best person in the match. Then he wrestles and undoes all the goodwill that song gave him.
Gorilla confuses a punch for a headbutt. They are very similar; sometimes, I like to wear hats on my fists just to confuse people. Then when they talk to my hand, they think I am a ventriloquist when I talk back. Great times. Unlike this match, which is shit.
I just noticed the referee is wearing his pants up to his armpits - what a nerd.
And I think Jesse just said something about victory smelling like dog food...
Winner = Greg 'the Hammer' Valentine via cheating pinfall with feet on the ropes
1/10

Tito Santana comes to tell the ref he sucks. The ref agrees and orders the match to continue, so Valentine just refuses to get in the ring and is counted out.
Winner = Junkyard Dog via countout
Which doesn't mean shit because the belt doesn't change hands on a countout.
Fuck you.
-2/10

I can't tell if the crowd is chanting "Tito" or "Cheater"
Either chant is just as lame as the other.

Back to Lord Alfred Hayes with a great line: "Both these teams have pointed opinions. Let's us hear some more about these opinions they had to express"

Backstage
'Mean' Gene with the The Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff and 'Classy' Freddie Blassie. The Iron Sheik's moustache is fantastic! His promo skills are not.
In comes Captain Lou Albano with Mike Rotundo and Barry Windham. The fish hooks hanging from Albano's face distract from everything.
2/10

WWF Tag-Team Championship
Barry Windham & Mike Rotundo (c) (w/Capt. Lou Albano) vs The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff (w/'Classy' Freddie Blassie)
Blassie is from Hollywood, so why is he hanging out with a bunch of commies? Doesn't he know that is the stuff that gets you banned from Hollywood?
The Iron Sheik says Iran is #1. And Russia is #1. His math is shit.
The good guys come out to Born in the USA - hilarious how much the lyrics don't actually fit with the theme of this match...
Sheik hits Windham from behind with a candy cane or something, which leads to Volkoff getting the pin
Winners = The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff via assault with international object
New champions!
5/10

The Iron Sheik grabs a mic and reiterates his lack of understanding of how rankings work. The crowd boos because they have all been to next year and have seen Highlander, so they know there can be only one. Then they go forward another 6 years and see Highlander II: The Quickening, so they have even more to boo about.

Backstage
Straight to 'Mean' Gene - have they quit on Lord Alfred Hayes already?
He questions the bad guys but then decides its back to ringside when they start answering.
1/10

Gorilla is mad about the title change.
I'm mad because it is back to Lord Alfred Hayes and his inability to not fuck up his lines:
"John Studd says I am the only true champion giant and the Andre the Giant says I am the giant!"

And yes, he really did say "the Andre the Giant".

Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Big John Studd and Bobby Heenan showing off a bag of money. Remember when $15,000 was a lot of money? Still a lot of money to me. That's because I am poor.
7/10

Shill for WrestleMania merch. $8 for a Mr. T & Hulk Hogan poster? Send me three!
I don't need the t-shirt though because I printed my own.
I told you I am poor.
5/10 for the funky background music.

INTERMISSION

$15,000 Slam Match
Andre the Giant vs Big John Studd (w/Bobby Heenan)
If Andre wins, he gets a bag of money. If Andre can't slam Studd, Andre has to retire.
I'm all for matches like this where you have two huge dudes facing off. Except when in the ring with the Giant, Studd looks like me standing next to Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently Andre wears a size 23 shoe. Then it changes to a size 24. Last time I checked my shoes were a 44 so my dick must be twice as big as Andre's.
My math is better than The Iron Sheik's.
Studd tries to slam Andre but fails. Silly Studd doesn't realise this isn't WrestleMania III and he isn't Hulk Hogan. Andre slams Studd and wins the money, throwing it into the crowd. So Bobby Heenan sneaks in and steals the money back before running to the back with Studd.
Winner = Andre the Giant via bodyslam
Good fun!
6/10

Backstage
'Mean' Gene with Andre - once again they cut back when he starts talking. Why bother with these segments if you don't want to hear the answers?
1/10

Lord Alfred Hayes continues his bumbling. The Fabulous Moolah kisses him on the cheek and he freaks out at a woman being near him.

Backstage
'Mean' Gene with Wendi Richter and Cyndi Lauper - Lauper just talks all sorts of trash because she is cool. Moolah and Leilani Kai say they will win but Gene asks them not to cheat.
Silly Gene...
6/10

WWF Women's Championship
Wendi Richter (w/Cyndi Lauper) vs Leilani Kai (c) (w/ The Fabulous Moolah)
The Fink says "Ladies championship" but the graphics say "Women's championship". Good to know WWF didn't know what they were doing 30 years ago.
Richter & Lauper come out to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
25 year-old Logman would totally party with 1985 Cyndi Lauper - she is awesome.

Wow - she is actually 31 here! I'm not sure if she is 31 year-old Logman's type...
Compared to everything else on this show so far, this match is like Bret Hart vs Sting. I'm going to go out on a limb and say this will be the best women's match I see in all 31 WrestleManias.
Winner = Windi Richter via reversal of crossbody block by Kai into a pin
New champion! And the crowd is going bananas!
7/10

Backstage
'Mean' Gene with Wendi and Cyndi. They are partying and very happy - Gene doesn't know what to do.
4/10

MAIN EVENT
Hulk Hogan & Mr. T (w/'Superfly' Jimmy Snuka) vs 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper & 'Mr. Wonderful' Paul Orndorff (w/'Cowboy' Bob Orton)
Guest Ring Announcer: Billy Martin. Apparently, he means something. Bring back Cyndi!
Guest Time Keeper: Liberace. He comes out with The Rockettes - they do the 'can can' to New York, New York. He has dressed pretty tame for Liberace.
Guest Referee: Muhammad Ali. Except you can't hear the announcement over the fans chanting "Ali! Ali". Because it is freekin' Muhammad Ali!

A full Scottish pipeband lead out the bad guys.
Eye of the Tiger brings out the Hulkster and Mr. T!

According to Gorilla, Mr. T has been living off tuna and water for the past 3 weeks in preparation for this match. So he will probably run out of energy as soon as he actually does anything.

Lots of brawling. Mr. T beats up some people and the crowd goes nuts. Hogan beats up some people and the crowd goes nuts. Piper and Orndorff cheat a lot against Hogan and the crowd boos. After getting a serious beatdown, Hogan finally tags in Mr. T who only stays in the ring for about a minute before tagging back in Hogan - I guess 30 seconds is plenty of time to recover from a beatdown, because now he is unstoppable! Which leads to more cheating and more brawling.
Piper and Orndorff double-team Hogan, so Mr. T runs in and takes out Piper. Then Orton tries to interfere but it backfires and he takes out Orndorff instead which gets Hogan the pin.
This was MAYHEM!
Winners = Hulk Hogan & Mr. T via pinfall following Orton hitting Orndorff
8/10

The bad guys run away but leave Orndorff behind. The good guys celebrate.

Backstage
'Mean' Gene talks with the good guys backstage. Mr. T cuts a Mr. T promo on the bad guys. Hogan does Hogan. Snuka makes no sense. He should stick to getting away with murder - he is much better at that.
7/10

Holy shit - Jesse Ventura is wearing the greatest outfit on the planet!

Cue ending music - Axel F. Just so you are reminded this is 1985 and life is good.
What? It's 2015 and life is not good?
Fuck you, I have 30 more WrestleManias to watch. My life is awesome.


WrestleMania: The Awards

1. Best Match
   Hulk Hogan & Mr. T vs 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper & 'Mr. Wonderful' Paul Orndorff
   Other than the women's match, it wasn't even close
2. Worst Match
   Junkyard Dog vs Greg 'the Hammer' Valentine
   It had competition, but that was garbage.
3. Highlight of the Show
   Hulk Hogan and Mr. T celebrating. It's Hulk Hogan. And Mr. T!
4. Lowlight of the Show
   Probably the JYD/Valentine match. And every segment featuring Lord Alfred Hayes
5. Star of the Show
   Hulk Hogan, because he got the pin in the main event. Mr. T was pretty close behind, though. The "T" chants were huge.
6. Best Celebrity Appearance
   Mr. T. Duh - did you expect me to mention anyone else?
7. Worst Celebrity Appearance
   Librace. Only because I don't class Billy Martin as any sort of celebrity.
8. Tonight's Meal
   Tonight's wrap was spinach, kale, cucumber, tomato, capsicum, red onion and alfalfa sprouts with basil pesto.Very simple and clean but could probably have used some type of dressing, like maybe honey mustard. The Oatmeal Creme Pie was just right to finish it off and didn't kill me. Pepsi Max helped quench my thirst and keep me awake.
9. T-Shirt Cleanliness
   Still good - only gained a couple of small stains.
10. Overall Score
    Good fun show - is a great example of how fun pro-wrestling was in 1985. Plus Mr. T beats up some dudes. Not as awesomely as he does in The A-Team, but it is still Mr. T beating up dudes. A few celebrities, and average meal and some laughs at the complete awkward that is Lord Alfred Hayes make for an enjoyable show.
    6 out of 10