WrestleMania March Madness, Day Ten: WrestleMania X

20 March 1994

Madison Square Garden

New York City, New York - USA

Attendance: 18,065

Commentators: Vince McMahon & Jerry 'the King' Lawler

My thoughts before this viewing:

I remember most of this show; obviously the opening match and the main event are etched in my brain for all of time. There are other matches I remember, too. And even the celebrities. Though it hasn't worked out too well so far, I do remember this show being really good. I also recall I only ever saw this via the old home video and it was really edited. So I am really looking forward to seeing this live and uncut for the first time ever...

Opening Video Package

We get some cheesy instrumental music over a montage of the first WrestleMania. Then it hits some cheesy early 90's music and some quick graphics. It's like a whirlpool or something? WWF is going down the drain??

4/10

I love 1994 WWF on-screen graphics; they remind me of Parker Lewis Can't Lose.

America the Beautiful
Little Richard is here with a big choir.

He is one scary looking dude... but this is sure jammin'!
8/10

Jerry Lawler botches his first joke of the night.
Loser.

Video Package
History of the building feud between Bret 'Hitman' Hart and his younger brother, Owen. Owen grew jealous of Bret and wanted a match to prove himself, but Bret refused to fight his brother. So Owen attacked and injured Bret's leg. Tonight they settle the score. Kind of?
8/10
Best feud ever.

Opening Match
Bret 'Hitman' Hart vs Owen Hart
Win or lose, Bret will face the WWF World Heavyweight Champion at the end of the show. Because he is awesome.
Owen comes out wearing some patented Hitman shades.

They were probably a gift from his awesome brother, Bret. Owen then shows he means business by breaking them.

And yeah, this match is all kinds of brilliant.
Bret goes for a victory roll but Owen stuffs it and picks up the pin instead!
Winner = Owen Hart via pinfall following rollup
10/10

Owen can't believe it - he is in so much shock he doesn't even notice the big gob on the side of his face.

Then in a truly great moment I wish the cameras had caught properly, Owen sticks up three fingers and shoves them in Bret's face.

Bret looks devastated. His knee is badly hurt and he still has to wrestle the champion in a couple of hours!

Backstage
Todd Pettingill is with Owen who still has a big gob on his face. You would think someone would tell him before doing this segment? I'm guessing they did and he thought it was funny. Says there is no way Bret will win the title tonight - what a crappy unsupportive brother.
6/10

Gorilla Monsoon recaps WrestleMania II for us.

Hairclub for Men gave The Fink a toupee. No joke. They even had the big boss of Hairclub for Men in the ring to announce it. I'm guessing they were a sponsor or Vince McMahon was in need of a toupee he could wear for the next 20 years. He really should have tried to mix it up a bit more.

Mixed Tag Team Match
Doink & Dink vs Bam Bam Bigelow & Luna Vachon

Dink is a midget clown. That is awesome. I know people who would probably consider that their greatest fear.

Vince is impressed with the agility of Bam Bam Bigelow. He's worked for you on and off for the last 10 years, and you are only noticing now? Pay some gawdam attention to your show, Vince.
Winners = Bam Bam Bigelow & Luna Vachon via pinfall following top rope splash
5/10

Dink tries to take on Bam Bam. Luna gets involved. It ends with botch.

President Clinton is in the crowd. But not really.

Remember WrestleMania III? It was the biggest WrestleMania, so most people would.

Falls Count Anywhere Match
'Macho Man' Randy Savage vs Crush (w/Mr. Fuji)

Turns out to win this match you have to pin your opponent outside the ring and he then gets 60 seconds to make it back to the ring. Sounds way more complicated than just pinning a dude.
Mr. Fuji has his salt - that shit should be illegal after last year. Macho Man throws Crush through some doors until they end up in some backstage area, and showing superior fight IQ, Savage ties up Crush and hangs him by his legs from some handily placed scaffolding so he can't make it back to the ring in time.

Well played.
Where is Mr. Fuji? Why isn't he untying Crush? Oh, he is in the ring getting beaten up by Macho Man. Good.
Winner = 'Macho Man' Randy Savage
6/10

In The Crowd
Todd Pettingill says 'Hi' to 'The President'. IRS seems to work with The President.
-1/10

Fan Fest was this weekend. Looks like it was a lot of fun.

Macho Man has already made his way to some theatre to pump up the crowd. What a legend.

Gorilla reminds us how awesome Macho Man was at WrestleMania IV.

WWF Women's Championship
Alundra Blayze (c) vs Leilani Kai
Hey now, Leilani Kai had her chance at the first WrestleMania - why does she get another shot now? The WWF must really like Alundra Blayze because they give her some pretty pyro.

They won't like her so much in 18 months when she throws the WWF Women's championship belt in the trash on live television.
Winner = Alundra Blayze via pinfall
3/10

Men on a Mission come out rapping. They are no Run DMC. But they look like they may have eaten them.

Randomly, Shawn Michaels is backstage trying to mack on Rhonda Shear. And it looks like he's getting somewhere... then Burt Reynolds enters and totally cockblocks him.
5/10

WWF Tag Team Championship
Men on a Mission vs The Quebecers (c) (w/Johnny Polo)
Men on a Mission are both fat, so they should be invincible. I'm somewhat right.
Winners = Men on a Mission via countout
3/10

Men on a Mission start rapping again and steal the title belts. Remind me again, who were the good guys here?

WrestleMania VI happened. I must have missed the part about WrestleMania V - someone please tell me that show actually happened as well!?!?

Video Package
Lark the Lexissist Lex Luger drove a bus around America to get support so he could beat Yokozuna. Both he and Bret Hart won the Royal Rumble, and then Lex won a coin toss so he gets first shot at the title tonight - winner faces the Hitman at the end of the show.
7/10

WWF World Heavyweight Championship
Lark the Lexissist Lex Luger vs Yokozuna (c) (w/Jim Cornette & Mr. Fuji)
Guest Ring Announcer: Donnie Wahlberg
Guest Timekeeper: Rhonda Shear
Guest Referee: Mr. Perfect

Donnie Wahlberg gets some serious boos. I find it hard to believe that New Kids on the Block were not a popular musical act with pro-wrestling fans in 1994.

The champion comes out first. Why? Because America, I guess. Fuck you.

Lark the Lexissist Lex Luger has a really badass new theme and is no longer calling himself Lark the Lexissist The Narcissist - he is now "Made in the USA". I prefer The Lexissist. Yokozuna is now bigger than ever, so good luck with that. Someone in the front row has a sign that says "Lex Loser". Nice one.
Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji get in the ring but Mr. Perfect doesn't disqualify anyone. But then he won't count the pin for Lark the Lexissist Lex Luger. So Lark the Lexissist Lex Luger kind of shoves him.
Winner = Yokozuna via disqualification
Mr. Perfect didn't like being shoved and he is out of there.
5/10

The crowd start chanting for that all-time popular wrestler - Bull Shit.

Backstage
Todd Pettingill talks to Mr. Perfect and Lark the Lexissist Lex Luger comes storming in. He demands Mr. Perfect give him one good reason why he was disqualified and Mr. Perfect actually gives him 3. Lark the Lexissist Lex Luger just got schooled. I'm guessing Mr. Perfect is still upset about the promo last year and that Lark the Lexissist Lex Luger hasn't adopted the moniker of The Lexissist.

Call the hotline! The only way to listen to Owen Hart brag about beating his brother.

WrestleMania VII happened. I do not need to be reminded. They choose to focus on the blindfold match? Bahaha good one.

Harvey Wippleman insults The Fink and rips his tuxedo. Jerk

Earthquake vs Adam Bomb (w/Harvey Wippleman)
A couple of slams and it's time for Earthquake to take a seat with his big fat ass.
Winner = Earthquake via pinfall following big fat ass
4/10

Vince thinks that is some kind of record. Pay attention to your gawdam show - there have been quicker matches at every WrestleMania so far. Dick.

Backstage
Todd Pettingill is with Yokozuna, Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji. Cornette does all the talking; he is happy with what happened already and Yokozuna is a shark that will end Bret Hart's career.
8/10

WrestleMania VIII also happened. What do they think I've been doing this week?

Ladder Match
WWF Intercontinental Championship
Razor Ramon (c) vs Shawn Michaels (w/Diesel)

Both men have a claim to being the champion and actually have a belt each, so both belts are above the ring and they need a ladder to retrieve them. Michaels' mullet is getting seriously epic. He climbs the ladder and Razor Ramon pulls down his pants, so Michaels ends up doing a massive elbow drop off the ladder with his butt hanging out.

Almost gave the people a front show, too. Doubt he would have cared - he did pose for Playgirl, after all. Michaels gets his foot tangles in the ropes and I'm wondering where Diesel is, then I remember he got thrown out near the start of this match. Hilariously, Michaels gets his foot untangled but Razor hasn't quite got the belts down, so Michaels throws his arm into the ropes and somehow gets that tangled up.
Winner = Razor Ramon via retrieval of the belts
9/10

Backstage
A team of bad guys can't decide who will be team captain, so their match gets cancelled.
Sounds legit.

In The Crowd
Todd Pettingill is with 'The President' who is now taking bribes from 'The Million Dollar Man' Ted Dibiase. In case you didn't know, Vince McMahon is a super-staunch republican and any President from the democrat party gets mercilessly mocked on his shows - Obama has been feeling his wrath for years now. Fuck you, Vince.
-1/10

Remember WrestleMania IX? You should, I only wrote about it yesterday.

King of the Ring Promo.
Spoiler alert: Owen Hart wins. They should just rename it The Harts Are Awesome.

Video Package
Bret 'Hitman' Hart highlights package set to Makin' Some Noise by Tom Petty. Clips of the Hitman beating everyone in the WWF, including getting Ric Flair in the sharpshooter to win the WWF World Heavyweight Championship!
10/10

Video Package
Yokozuna squashing everyone in the WWF set to a basic WWF instrumental.
8/10

Main Event
WWF World Heavyweight Championship
Bret 'Hitman' Hart vs Yokozuna (c) (w/Jim Cornette & Mr. Fuji)
Guest Ring Announcer: Burt Reynolds
Guest Timekeeper: Jennie Garth
Guest Referee: 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper

I totally had the hots for Jennie Garth when I was about 12. I didn't have the hots for Burt Reynolds, though. He has a cast on his hand because he apparently beat up some criminals.

The champion comes out first again because aaah who cares...
Bret Hart hobbles out on his injured leg and Yokozuna jumps him before the bell. Cheating bastard!
Yokozuna is really fat. Jim Cornette tries to interfere so Pipe decks him. Yokozuna misses his banzai drop and hits his head.

Winner = Bret Hart via pinfall following Yokozuna being fat and stupid
New Champion!
7/10

Even Burt Reynolds is losing his shit over this.

Bret is basically dead in the ring. The entire locker room empties - even Gorilla Monsson is there - to shower Bret with praise for finally defeating the evil fat Japanese monster, Godzilla. Wait, Yokozuna? Oh, Godzilla is next week...

Owen Hart hits the entranceway and the wrestlers invite him in to the ring to join the celebrations, but he'd rather fume outside and give Bret the evils.

He leaves so Bret goes back to celebrating while his awesome theme blasts throughout Madison Square Garden to send us out.

WrestleMania X: The Awards

1. Best Match
   Bret 'the Hitman' Hart vs Owen Hart
   No words do this match justice.
2. Worst Match
   Men on a Mission vs The Quebecers
   I like Jacques Rougeau. I like their theme song. But Men on a Mission were terrible in every conceivable way.
3. Highlight of the Show
   Aside from that opening match, I'd have to go with the music video they did with Makin' Some Noise by Tom Petty. It was seriously great, and I long Bret Hart had to put someone in a sharpshooter to them to use that song (he is a big Tom Petty fan, so I doubt that was a coincidence)
4. Lowlight of the Show
   President Clinton. Seriously, Vince, you are cockhead and politics are completely unnecessary in the world of professional wrestling. I doubt we'll get any skits involving George W. Bush once we hit WrestleManias 16 - 24. Fuck you.
5. Star of the Show
   Bret 'Hitman' Hart. No question; he bookmarked the show with great matches and got the celebrations at the end. That moment with all the good guys joining him for the celebrations was the stuff.
6. Best Celebrity Appearance
   Jennie Garth. She did nothing, but she was Jennie Garth and that is a good thing.
7. Worst Celebrity Appearance
   Hard to say - they didn't do a lot and I don't feel like punishing Donnie Wahlberg just because NKOTB weren't the hottest band in the world in 1994.
8. Tonight's Meal
   Tonight's wrap was a return to the hoki fillet with avocado, baby spinach, spring onion and tomato, topped with tartare sauce. I stuck with the Pepsi Next as I was need of some serious caffeine and it is really quite tasty. I don't even recall if the Oatmeal Creme Pie has any flavour tonight...
9. T-Shirt Cleanliness
   If the iron-on transfer didn't protect this t-shirt so much, it would be looking much worse after tonight.
10. Overall Score
    Awesome show. Bret Hart opened the show with the greatest match and then ended the show with a feel good moment. Sure, he was bookending some pretty average stuff, then some pretty crappy stuff. But the ladder match was also crazy good. And Jennie Garth. I'm going to watch that Makin' Some Noise music video again.
    8 out of 10
    
    

WrestleMania March Madness, Day Nine: WrestleMania IX

4 April 1993
Caesar's Palace
Las Vegas, Nevada - USA

Attendance: 16,891

Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby 'the Brain' Heenan & 'Macho Man' Randy Savage

My thoughts before this viewing:
I think I saw this show for the first time around the same time I saw VII and VIII. But this one had a bit more context for me as I had just watched the preceding Royal Rumble (that was why I decided to watch this show). There is only one match I can actually remember, and that is the main event. No wait - The Undertaker's match as well. But that's it. I can barely remember who is even on the card. The general consensus on the internet is that this is the worst WrestleMania of all time - and I disagree. I am 95% positive that there will be at least one show worse than this. But will this be the worst so far? Let's find out...

Opening Video Package
It's that same rockin' guitar and Vince is yelling. Wrestlers are projected onto the side of Caesar's Palace Casino. I guess at least the computer effects are getting a bit better?
2/10

Opening Ceremony
Instead of a national anthem or even America the Beautiful, we are treated to an extravagant opening ceremony... where Jim Ross shows off his toga:

Hangs out with some Centurions:

Gives us some history lessons on Cleopatra and Julius Caesar:

 

 

And raves about Elephants. I can't blame him on that last point - elephants are awesome.

'Macho Man' Randy Savage is brought out with a group of "virgins"

And he somehow manages to pull that 'Macho Man' look, while blending it well with ancient Roman fashion:

Bobby 'the Brain' Heenan is brought out on a camel. Backwards. Comedy!

Ladies & Gentlemen, your commentary team for tonight!

Even The Fink is getting in on the theme!

Opening Match
WWF Intercontinental Championship
Tatanka vs Shawn Michaels (c) (w/Luna Vachon)
Shawn Michaels uses the belt as a mirror. Which makes no sense, because the belt has so many indents and engravings it wouldn't give him an accurate picture of how his hair actually looks. Amateur.

Sherri is here as well but no one is sure why. Heenan and Savage are already arguing to the point of fisticuffs - this is going to be a long night. Jim Ross questions "the healing powers" of Shawn Michaels - who is he supposed to be, Jesus?
The referee calls for the bell but it never rings. Tatanka goes for a pin but the referee actually has to pull him up and calls for the bell another 10 times.
Winner = Tatanka via countout
How do you win by countout when your opponent is actually in the ring? I'm guessing they meant disqualification, but someone screwed up. Really screwed up.
7/10

Luna beats up Sherri, so I guess that went somewhere?

Backstage
'Mean' Gene Okerlund is with The Steiner Brothers! They are going to wrestle! Good thing they came to an event called WrestleMania, then.
6/10

The Steiner Brothers vs The Headshrinkers (w/Afa)
The Steiner's theme is a complete joke. And this is coming from someone totally familiar with their WCW theme - Steinerline. Macho Man promises this match will be awesome. Careful with those promises, Macho...
The Headshrinkers almost KILL Scott Steiner with a botched spot. Holy shit, I thought he was dead - one of the scariest spots I've seen in WrestleMania history.

How is it wrestlers never remember that Islanders and black dudes have super hard heads that can't be hurt? I would have thought that was like WWF 101.
Winner = The Steiner Brothers via pinfall following frankensteiner
I'm surprised no one got hur.
7/10

Call the hotline! So you can hear the same garbage promos without seeing the funny expressions.

Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Doink the Clown. Gene is bitching Doink out for doing clown things, like pies in faces and what not. Recap of Doink beating Crush with a fake arm. That was funny. Clowns are fun. Why is he the bad guy? No wonder they call you 'Mean' Gene...
6/10

Crush vs Doink the Clown
One look at Crush's glorious mullet and I immediately regret not adding a category for best mullet.

 

It just hit me there are thousands of kids in the audience - how on Earth did they get into a casino?
Doink hits Crush with a piledriver and straight up drops him on his head.

Three matches in and two dudes have almost died.
A second clown arrives and beats Crush with a fake arm.

Winner = Doink the Clown via pinfall following beating with international object
3/10

Heenan claims the second clown was just an illusion because Macho Man is wearing sunglasses that have "Macho" written across them and he couldn't possibly see properly. He has a point...

In The Crowd
Todd Pettingill talks to some Japanese photographers who don't care about the Doinks - they just want to laugh at Todd. I know the feeling.
1/10

Bob Backlund vs Razor Ramon
Oh, now I get why people dislike this show...
Winner = Razor Ramon via pinfall following roll-up
1/10
For a guy whose moniker is "the bad guy", people sure cheer for him a lot.

Bobby Heenan hopes this is the first and last WrestleMania for Bob Backlund. Alas he is wrong.

Promo for a new pay-per view show - King of the Ring.
Spoiler alert: Bret Hart wins. Because he is the best!

Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Money Inc. Gene says they are screwed and they show footage of Money Inc. trying to smash in Brutus Beefcake's face with a briefcase. Apparently Dibiase already paid some dudes to give Hulk Hogan a beat down last night - why not show us footage? Why should we miss out on the fun?
5/10

WWF Tag Team Championship
The Mega Maniacs (w/Jimmy Hart) vs Money Inc (c)

Dibiase seems to be wearing his pyjamas. Beefcake's protective mask makes him look like a luchador - which just makes him even cooler.

Hulk has a seriously bashed in eye. It doesn't look like he can even see out of that thing.

Money Inc. decide to just walk on the match - why not? It worked out great for them last year. Except this time the referee decides to change the rules and announces if they don't come back, they will lose the titles. I guess anything goes when you are fighting Hulk Hogan. Money Inc. get knocked down, but so does the referee, so Jimmy Hart pretends he is a referee and counts three to give the Mega Maniacs the win!

Then a real referee comes down and disqualifies them.
Winners = Money Inc.
Weird that another referee would care about that part but not all the cheating the bad guys were doing.
7/10

Hulk isn't phased; he and Brutus pose for the crowd while Real American plays us out.

Wait - it is just the middle of the show! This feels really weird not having Hulk Hogan on last. Hulk and Brutus find Money Inc.'s briefcase of money and give the cash out to the crowd.

I bet Brutus could really use that money nowadays...

Sorry, Brutus.

In The Crowd
Todd Pettingill is with Natalie Cole. Why on Earth didn't you idiots get her to sing instead of that opening ceremony?

Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Mr. Perfect. He calls 'The Narcissist' Lex Luger "The Lexissist, Lark..." and just decides 'Boy I fucked that up - I'm going to the ring now.'
6/10

They are making a really big deal about Lex Luger knocking out Bret Hart at the WrestleMania brunch. I don't know, that's not how I would build up your world champion before a main event...

Mr. Perect vs 'The Lexissist' 'The Narcissist' Lex Luger
Luger has an elaborate entrance. Mainly scantily clad women.

Between them and the gambling, I'm quite ready to rate this show less kid-friendly than it is in 2015.
Luger went for a pin with his feet on the ropes - and the referee actually caught it! Hogan wrestling in the middle of the show, dude's caught cheating - what weird parallel universe have I stumbled upon?
Luger goes for another pin and this time Mr. Perfect's feet are in the ropes... and the referee misses it?
Winner = 'The Lexissist' 'The Narcissist' Lex Luger
4/10

Luger then knocks out Mr. Perfect. Just because.

Mr. Perfect quickly recovers and goes after Lark the Lexissist, attacking him in the garage. Shawn Michaels then decides he isn't getting enough attention and beats up on Mr. Perfect.

All this violence has Macho Man worked up and he wants to beat up Bobby Heenan.

The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) vs Giant Gonzalez (w/Harvey Wippleman)
Giant Gonzalez is 8 feet tall and wears a flesh bodysuit.

The Undertaker comes out on a cart with a vulture. Would have been way more impressive if this wasn't in broad daylight.

Apparently, there are people listening to the commentators on the radio. Why on Earth would you listen to pro-wrestling on the radio? In fact, why would you read about it??
Macho Man thinks Gonzalez is 10 feet tall, but Jim Ross assures him he is 8 feet tall. Heenan then claims that Gonzalez is actually 20 feet tall and Jim Ross again says 8 feet. Macho Man questions Heenan on the 20 feet and Heenan declares Giant Gonzalez 20 feet, 10 inches tall. Macho Man says that sounds believable.
Macho Man then claims The Undertaker is "from Down Under!". So Australia is Zombieland?
Gonzalez is actually losing, so he knocks out The Undertaker with some chloroform. Yes, he shoves a rag in The Undertaker's face and the commentators start ranting about how they can smell chloroform.
Winner = The Undertaker via disqualification
-1/10

The crowd chants for "Hogan!".
Careful what you wish for...

Oh wait - The Undertaker is awake and is going after Giant Gonzalez!
Macho Man: "He is living proof that he is not alive!"
Can't fault that logic.

Backstage
'Mean' Gene takes us back to show the destruction Yokozuna has performed since coming to the WWF. In comes Hulk Hogan for his opinion; he says Bret Hart is a good Hulkamaniac, so Hulk and all the Hulkamaniacs are behind him. But Hulk's not convinced even he can beat Bret Hart, so he issues a challenge to whoever wins the title. All that said, he believes Bret will win and keep the title where it belongs - in the USA!
Despite Bret Hart being Canadian and living in Canada.
7/10

In The Crowd
Todd Pettingill talks to some drunk dudes in togas.
-1/10

WWF Heavyweight Championship
Bret Hart (c) vs Yokozuna (w/Mr. Fuji)

Remember when I said that being overly fat is an underrated skill in pro-wrestling? You can't get any fatter than Yokozuna and it seems to make him indestructible.
Bret gives his shades to some kid in the front row because he has a hot mum.
The crowd chants "USA". Bret Hart is Canadian. Morons.
Bret Hart gets Yokozuna in the sharp shooter! So Mr. Fuji throws salt in his eyes. That would seem to be a deadly finisher that no one can get up from.
Winner = Yokozuna via pinfall following salt in the eyes
New Champion!
7/10

Seriously, he didn't even need to do anything after the salt in the eyes - it's like it completely paralysed and knocked out Bret Hart at the same time.

Fuck you, Mr. Fuji. Bret Hart was robbed! So a referee can come down and disqualify the Mega Maniacs for pretending to have a referee but no one can come down and disqualify Yokozuna for cheating?

Hulk Hogan comes down to help the Hitman, but Mr. Fuji then challenges Hulk Hogan to face Yokozuna - right now!

WWF Heavyweight Championship
Hulk Hogan vs Yokozuna (c) (w/Mr. Fuji)
Mr. Fuji tries to throw the salt in Hulk's eyes, but gets Yokozuna instead.

Leg drop of doom!
Winner = Hulk Hogan
New Champion (again)!
1/10

Yokozuna was champion for a grand total of 2 minutes and 6 seconds.
And Bret Hart is completely forgotten about.

Fuck you all.

One more time, you know the drill!
Real American and posing to send us out...

WrestleMania IX: The Awards

1. Best Match
   Bret 'the Hitman' Hart vs Yokozuna
   Seems odd, I'm sure - no one else would agree with me, I bet - but the excitement was just off the charts for this match. And Bret Hart is just the best in the ring. Shame about the ending, though.
2. Worst Match
   The Undertaker vs Giant Gonzalez
   You had a giant caveman or whatever he was supposed to be fighting a slow zombie. And then ended it with the zombie being poisoned. Don't get me wrong, throw in a dinosaur and you've got yourself an awesome movie, but as a wrestling match it was just sucked the kumara.
3. Highlight of the Show
   Mr. Perfect getting tongue-tied during his promo. Fun to see such a pro completely mess things up.
4. Lowlight of the Show
   Todd Pettingill. Especially the part with the drunk dudes in their togas - it was like he was trying to be the cool guy at some stupid spring break party.
5. Star of the Show
   Bret 'Hitman' Hart. At least, until they completely killed him with this show. Seriously; they spent 2 hours talking about how Lex Luger knocked him out and then had him lose to Yokozuna just by having salt thrown in his eyes. Then Hulk Hogan completely pwned Yokozuna in such record time that it made Bret look like nothing. Way to go, WWF.
6. Best Celebrity Appearance
   Natalie Cole, by default because there were none this time. And I'm not complaining.
7. Worst Celebrity Appearance
   The guy from Caesar's Palace who spent 10 minutes with Todd Pettingill promoting how great Caesar's Palace is.
8. Tonight's Meal
   Tonight was a lot of changes; my wrap was mix of egg plant, mushrooms, tomatoes, spring onion and capsicum with beetroot & garlic hummus and salsa, topped with sour cream. Gold star! Then I tried this new Pepsi Next - stevia based Pepsi. Delicious! Oatmeal Creme Pie was fine. All round great dinner.
9. T-Shirt Cleanliness
   I thought it was looking OK. I was wrong.
10. Overall Score
    This where I realise I have a completely different point of view to the internet fans. Because I loved this show! I'm going to pretend that ending didn't happen, because it was a big steaming pile of Simple Plan, but otherwise I just found the show silly and light-hearted. Sure, there was nothing overly amazing, but there was also nothing super-uber terrible. Plus, there was no bogus American patriotism at all! Except for the times people chanted USA during the Bret Hart/Yokozuna match. Bret Hart is Canadian. Yokozuna was (pretending to be) from Japan. Were they chanting for the referee? I had a great time.
    5 out of 10