LOVE GUN (1977)

All the women gathered to hear the ponderings of the great philosophers...

Spoiler Alert:
This album is good.

I don't even know where to start. Maybe the start of the album? Would that make the most sense?
'I Stole Your Love' is probably the 2nd best opening track Kiss have ever done - as much attitude as B.A. Baracus, and a duelling guitar solo as well! More please... 'Christine Sixteen' is Gene being the dirty old man he is and singing about picking up a school girl or something - doesn't matter, because that song is really cool. 'Got Love For Sale' is probably the biggest unappreciated gem in the entire Kiss catalog. It has so much groove and coolness, yet people seem to forget it exists. Listen to it once and you'll be hooked like me. Or I'll hook your face with a pointy guitar!

'Shock Me' is the first Kiss song with Ace singing vocals. Oh and he played bass and guitars on it, so it is more of an 'Ace & Peter' track, but whatever. That happens a lot from here on. Strange that Gene was the one that convinced Ace to sing on the song, but Gene never plays bass on any of Ace's songs. Not sure whose decision that was... oh yeah, the song rules. Unless Tommy Thayer is playing it. Then I boo him off the stage (or at least try to).

'Tomorrow and Tonight' is one of the weaker songs on here; the whole thing just reeks of 'trying to make an anthem' but not really succeeding. Don't worry, this isn't the first time and it sure won't be the last. Or worst.

This brings us to the title track... one of the best Kiss songs ever. Period. If you disagree, you are welcome. But as far as music, lyrics, vocals and everything else goes this song is pure Kiss-perfection. Ace's solos just bring so much attitude to this song at the end as well... Awesomeness personified.

Peter Criss makes his appearance with 'Hooligan' and I dig it. Some people hate Peter, but those people can suck my balls. He wrote some cool songs and in the Kiss setting they were able to make them rock a bit more than if he had been a solo artist (see my future reviews of his solo albums for more). 'Almost Human' just sounds like 'God of Thunder Part 2' - I'm not a huge fan of the original, so a re-visiting doesn't do much more for me. 'Plaster Caster' is another super great classic Kiss song that just captures everything about this band I love. In fact, it is the 2nd Kiss song I ever learnt to play and perform live. They should play that song live more often.

The last song on the album is the odd covering of 'Then She Kissed Me'. It is OK. While not at all terrible, it is a weird way to end one of the greatest rock albums of the 70's. Not only that, this was the last Kiss studio album to truly feature the original lineup. Things would change forever after this...

But what a way to end things.

Highlights:
I Stole Your Love, Christine Sixteen, Got Love For Sale, Shock Me, Love Gun, Hooligan, Plaster Caster

Lowlights:
Not getting the same recognition as Destroyer.

Verdict = 5 Smoking Les Pauls

ROCK AND ROLL OVER (1976)

The Kiss buzzsaw - for all your rock'n roll carpentry requirements...

This always feels like the 'forgotten make-up album' to me, purely because the majority of the tracks aren't live staples or appear on any of the million of Kiss compilations out there (a few of which I will review later). It might be because the album was sandwiched inbetween 2 of Kiss' defining albums so fans forget about how cool some of these tracks are. Or maybe the modern lineup of Kiss have no idea how to even play these songs at all - come see me, Paul Stanley, and I'll teach you how to play 'em. Just don't bring that loser Tommy Thayer to my house. And leave Gene Simmons behind, while you're at it. And don't bad-mouth Peter and Ace while you're here. Oh just forget it!

'I Want You' is classic Kissory, but with a cool duelling guitar solo. Then 'Take Me' is just the most non-subtle classic Kiss rock'n roll you could ask for. 'Calling Dr. Love' is actually one song from here that is still played live today - so I don't need to teach them how to play this one. Which is good, because it is 4 chords and I wouldn't want them to get confused.

Then the album hits that dreaded middle patch again... look, these songs aren't 'bad' as such, just not as good as the rest; when you are forced to compare a track like 'Ladies Room' to a track like 'Calling Dr. Love', it just sounds like filler. 'Baby Driver' is easily the worst Peter Criss song so far (don't worry, it won't keep that title) and 'Love 'Em and Leave 'Em' just kinda... I don't know... I bet it would sound cooler live.

Speaking of which, this album was actually recorded in a theatre to try and capture the real Kiss energy better - all their studio albums generally sounded pretty limp, so it was hoping setting them up like a live show would make everything sound awesome. I'm not overly sure how well it worked, but hey, that be some info for you.

OK back to the tracks... I've never heard a man brag about being fast in bed, but Paul Stanley does it and still rocks in 'Mr. Speed'; 'See You in Your Dreams' is pretty cool, and 'Hard Luck Woman' is kinda cool in that Rod Stewart kind of way (no, not how I look like Rod Stewart). Then the album ends with a hard rock punch to your genitals in 'Makin' Love' and we're done the same way we started - classic Kissory.

So yeah, much like Destroyer, an average middle section is sandwiched between some darn awesome songs. Much like how this album is pretty good but sandwiched between 2 of Kiss' best albums, thus probably making it seem less cool. Or more, depending on who you ask. I dunno... the album's artwork sure is cool though. Ace should have pointed his lazer blasting eyes to his left to stop Gene licking his chin. That's my thoughts, anyway.

Highlights:
Take Me, Calling Dr. Love, Makin' Love

Lowlights:
Nothing offensive here

Verdict = 4 Smoking Les Pauls

DESTROYER (1976)

"We're off to see the wizard... "

This album...

When I first became a fan of Kiss, THIS was the album everyone raved about. They still do. The cover art. The album title. The song titles. It all screams 'Ultimate Kiss Album'. It opens with 'Detroit Rock City', for crying out loud. So, I got the album and cranked it up loud... and...

... was thoroughly disappointed. It isn't that it is bad. It just isn't the non-stop amazingness that Kiss fans talk it up as.

The two opening tracks are amazing and set the album up well. And I do mean amazing. But then almost everything after is just... I don't know... they are good songs, they just never really quite hit their mark. Then to make up for it, they get covered in strings and pianos and choirs. 'Flaming Youth' is one of those songs that sounds like it has so much promise, but the chorus just kind of lacks any kind of hook that grabs you and makes you want to throw your fist in the air.

And that goes for everything in the middle of the album. 'God of Thunder' has never really done much for me, 'Great Expectations' is kind of humorous, 'Flaming Youth' and 'Sweet Pain' both rock hard in places, before the album goes back to classic awesomeness with 'Shout It Out Loud' and 'Do You Love Me?'.

Then there is 'Beth' - Kiss' first actual hit. For all the grief Gene and Paul and fans give Peter Criss, without him and this song Kiss would never have even broken through to the mainstream audience the way they did. For that alone, he deserves eternal high-fives from all of us.

This album is also seen by some (meaning me, LOGMAN) as the beginning of the end of Kiss as we knew it; it was the first album other people played on songs (rumour has it Ace wouldn't leave his card game to record a solo or acoustic guitar or something) and really shows the control/influence Gene and Paul were looking to take. It would be the only time it didn't fail, which we will get to later.

Awesome album. A little overrated, sure - but still awesome.

Highlights:
Detroit Rock City, King of the Night Time World, Shout it Out Loud, Do You Love Me?

Lowlights:
Nothing

Verdict = 4 Smoking Les Pauls and a thumbs up

Hilarious

Yes, I realise my amazing Kissathon blogging failed. I completed the Kissathon personally, but failed to post about it every day...

So before I finish watching every episode of the greatest cartoon ever created, I will endeavour to complete my mission. Just to refresh myself, I will actually do Kissathon again at the same time, as well.

Right after I finish listening to Psychic Lover.
This could take a while...

ALIVE! (1975)

The finale for America's Next Top Model was going well until the explosion...

And here comes the legendary live album that defines live albums. Or at least gave the first definition of a live album. Look it up in the Rocktionary.

It's one of those albums that might not be perfect, but every Kiss fans has to own. Or even a rock fan. Or just someone that doesn't want to be lame and have me make fun of them forever.

The majority of these tracks are here in their best and well-known forms. But emphasis on best. Most of the songs benefit from the high energy and faster tempos, with 'Cold Gin' and 'Hotter Than Hell' being the obvious exceptions, while others just feel more bombastic with explosions and extra guitar solos.

For some reason, 'Rock Bottom' just fails so badly on this album. I'm not sure what it is, but it just doesn't work.

But this is where you come for the definitive versions of almost everything else. Almost. '100, 000 Years' would be perfect if they had edited the drum solo down to about 30 seconds - 10 minutes is too much. Though it does make a great choice when wanting to annoy people.

Oh and 'Let Me Go, Rock'n Roll' proves how amazing it is right here. Go listen.

And if you don't have this album, go buy it now. NOW!

Highlights:
Deuce, Strutter, Got To Choose, Firehouse, C'mon and Love Me, Parasite, She, 100, 000 Years, Black Diamond, Rock'n Roll All Nite, Let Me Go (Rock'n Roll)

Lowlights:
Rock Bottom, the stupid long drum solo in 100, 000 Years

Verdict = 4 smoking Les Pauls and a thumbs up

DRESSED TO KILL (1975)

Pimpin' ain't easy...

When I first started doing this, this was the album I figured would win my top spot. While most Kiss fans consider the 76-77 period the best, for me these first 3 albums (4 including Alive!) are where the most fun is.

In fact, this album probably would have taken the top spot if not for 'Ladies in Waiting'. Not that the song is bad - because it isn't. It just isn't as good as everything else on the album and it always just sticks out like a dry, stale muffin surrounded by bowls of ice-cream and Snickers bars. But by Prime, those ice-creams are all such delicious flavours.

Oh I know - 'Rock Bottom' suffers the same problem as 'Comin' Home', as it rocks so much harder on 'Unplugged'. I want to go back to 1974 Kiss and play them the 'Unplugged' show so they can feel bad about making electric songs weaker than when done acoustically... before they go back to their groupies and millions of dollars. That'll teach 'em. But it is still fun, and the rest of the album is as strong and consistent as anything Kiss have ever produced. 'Getaway' is so much fun and 'Love Her All I Can' is an unappreciated gem. This album is full of killer guitar riffs. Oh, and it also happens to close with a certain rock'n roll national anthem... yeah, these guys sure know how to end albums.

This album may not have the classics that everyone knows, or still get performed live all the time. But to me, this album sums up Kiss better than any other album before or after; fun, simple rock'n roll that makes you want to "rock'n roll all nite and party every day"

Highlights:

Room Service, Two Timer, Getaway, C'mon and Love Me, She, Love Her All I Can, Rock'n Roll All Nite

Lowlights:

Only 29 minutes long. I'm not sure if Ladies in Waiting really counts - it isn't actually terrible, just compared to everything else it sounds like... well, me trying to do a Kiss song

Verdict = 4 Smoking Les Pauls and a thumbs up

HOTTER THAN HELL (1974)

Sunbathing in the Kiss house always gets rough

After a good but not amazing effort on debut, Kiss moved to LA to make their follow-up. Unfortunately, the LA smog consumed the recordings and made everything sound like it was fighting its way out of sludge. Which is a shame, because this album rocks hard!

'Got to Choose' is one hell of a cool opening song, and anyone that ever disses Peter Criss' skills as a drummer should listen to his awesome fills in 'Parasite' - probably the heaviest Kiss song to date. 'Goin' Blind' is their first attempt at a slow song, I guess. Ace's solo is awesome. In fact, Ace's solos on all these songs are killer. The title track, 'Hotter than Hell' is a solid rocker, then you get the high energy of 'Let Me Go Rock'n Roll' - which is so damn awesome it was their show closer until 'Rock'n Roll All Nite' came about.

Then 'All the Way' is your classic stomping groove while Gene makes fun of some woman for talking too much kind of song, followed by another heavy classic 'Watchin' You'. Next, Peter hits us with his song for the album 'Mainline'... and it's... there... 

'Comin' Home' is apparently written about how unhappy they guys were in LA and wanted to get back to New York. Then Peter says 'Hey guys, my last song wasn't good enough' so he sings the Ace written 'Strange Ways' and the world explodes from the awesome and the album has no choice but to end.

Notice I have nothing bad to say? That's because this album is awesome with a fist pumping in the air while I head bang. The only negative is the production, because this album could have sounded so much better had it been recorded well. Also, 'Comin' Home' sounds so much better on 'Unplugged' it's hard to take the original version seriously now. And I don't really know how an acoustic song can rock harder than the same song in electric form.

Highlights:

Got to Choose, Parasite, Hotter than Hell, Let Me Go, Rock'n Roll, Strange Ways

Lowlights:

The sludgey production that makes everything sound muffled. Or just covered in grime.

Verdict = 4 Smoking Les Pauls