'Til All Are One

Dude, give me back my toy truck!

Well, I saw Transformers last night. Lots of people saw Transformers lat night. At least, the smart people saw Transformers last night.

But instead of getting an actual review today, I am instead going to write a little bit of defence for Michael Bay and what he has done with the Transformers.

It seems there are a wide selection of geeks that grew up with Transformers that have a problem with the new movie and designs for the Transformers. Apparently, Michael Bay has even been receiving death threats since beginning work on the movie. You only have to take a quick look at the IMDB message boards to see it is filled with disgruntled fans of the G1 Transformers and their constant whining and complaining - when they haven't even seen the movie yet! While I don't consider Transformers to be the greatest movie ever - and it does have it's flaws - I have one thing to say to anyone who complains about this movie not being like the Transformers of old:

This is not 1986.

I know, that's pretty huge coming from me - Lord knows, I seem to be permanently stuck in a time warp where it is 1987 and Miami Vice is still new and exciting. But the fact is, if the Transformers looked and acted like they did in this movie like they did 20 years ago, this movie would look stupid. How many trucks do you see around that look like Optimus Prime did? Who makes square cars anymore? So why would a robot choose that design if they were trying to disguise themselves? Personally, I thought the new designs were amazing; they had to be done if this movie was to work, and they came up with fantastic creations.

Also, there have been a lot of people complaining about it not following the original Transformers storyline. Well, I want to know what storyline they are talking about, because none of the comics or various cartoon inceptions of Transformers have ever followed the same story arc - not even in the 80's.

Look, I'm an 80's loving-internet living-Transformers geek-fanboy as well, but sometimes the bitching is pathetic and there is no need for it. This movie could never have followed the original movie because there would be far too many characters to bring in, and it would just turn into one big mess... which is why they will no doubt make a sequel. And while I was against that at first, I read that my two favourite characters will be featured in the sequel - and I can't even begin to imagine how amazing Unicron would be!

So anyways, the movie rocks and the animation is absolutely incredible; even if the movie is cheesy and predictable, I can't describe the action as anything but massive (it is a Michael Bay movie, after all) and in the end isn't that what "summer blockbuster" movies are supposed to be about? It certainly makes all these crappy sequels we've been getting all year look like... well, crappy sequels.

So go see it, enjoy the spectacle, then go see it again and let's show these losers they are wrong by making this one of the highest grossing movies ever!

Chris Benoit R.I.P

I know I'm breaking my self-imposed ban, but I it had to be done.

As some of you may be aware, WWF wrestler Chris Benoit, his wife and their son were all found dead in their home this morning (NZ time). I read the news when it first broke, and I knew I wanted to say something about this... but I didn't know what. I sat there for most of the next hour trying to find any information I could - hoping that it was just another addition to the 'Death of Mr. McMahon' angle - only to keep finding the same things. Little by little, information has been coming out as they piece together what has happened. I'm still in disbelief... in fact, I'm struggling to understand it, making my own scenarios...

I can't claim to have known Benoit, or have even met him, but I can offer my views as a fan. I realised today that I have been watching his work for 10 years now; when a friend of mine was getting me back into wrestling when we were 17, she always used to tell me about Chris Benoit and how he was her favourite. I remember not being impressed at first; he was awesome to watch in the ring, but he wasn't a big guy, and he didn't yell in promos at all! He always talked so softly, and I would be like "Come on, man, start shouting about tough you are!" But as I watched WCW more, I too began to appreciate "The Crippler" - he was far and away the best wrestler in the business at the time, and always seemed to put everything into his matches.

As years went on, Benoit just got better and better; and after heading to the WWF in 2000 we soon saw some seriously great action from him. He had become one of favourite wrestlers - I suffered many a crossface from Eamonn because of him - just because he was so darn good! He was intense, had serious skills in the ring, and the way he did everything you just thought he was going to seriously hurt someone. He would have to be my number 3 wrestler of all time... I don't think I saw many matches from him that I didn't enjoy. Even though he never did learn to shout in his promos.

I'll always remember how much commentators in WCW always referred to him as the greatest wrestler to never win a title - until he finally won his first in 1998 (and even then it was only a minor belt). And although he got a few title shots in the WWF, I think people were worried he was going to get the same treatment there too. At Wrestlemania XX in 2004, Chris Benoit finally achieved his dream and became WWE World Heavyweight Champion. I finally watched that match just a couple of weeks ago, and have to say it was one of the best Wrestlemania matches ever.

It was to be his only World Title win. He was apparently booked to win the ECW World Title this past Sunday, but of course that changed when he didn't show up to the event.

This really is a huge tragedy for the world of pro-wrestling, to lose one of the most talented and respected athletes to ever grace the squared circle - and in such a dark, tragic way. My utmost love and heartfelt prayers go out to the family and friends that they leave behind.

And I must give a quick little nod to the WWE for how they have handled this: not only did they remove all articles relating to the 'Death of Mr. McMahon' from their website, as soon as the story broke they cancelled their live show and replaced the night's 3 hour Mr. McMahon Memorial Service with a tribute show to Chris Benoit - and sent all the wrestlers home to deal with their grief. Nice to see they are learning, and giving this great athlete the respect he deserves.

I'm going to go watch the Owen Hart tribute match between Bret Hart and Chris Benoit, from 1999. I'm glad I have at least 1 great match he was involved in.

Behold - It Is Coming!

I have had a few people discuss this, so I thought it best to air my thoughts in a public manner...

Unless you have spent the last few months blindfolded, your mouth sewn shut, your ears filled with cement and have been living with the Mandiko Tribe in deepest, darkest Africa, then you will no doubt be aware that the latest Transformers movie opens on Thursday (although it is different according to regions across the globe - America don't get it until next week. Take that, suckers!). Now, the deal here in Christchurch (and most of NZ, I'm assuming) is that we get the midnight screening tomorrow night/Thursday morning. However, The Edge are giving away tickets to a special premiere screening tomorrow night at 7pm.

While most people have been curious as to why I am not currently spending most of my time trying to win tickets to that screening, the people who have told me they are going - and the radio station running the competition - really made me certain that this is not the screening for me. Sure, you kids with your free tickets get to see it 5 hours before me - and for free - but in all honesty, I am much happier with the midnight screening.

You see, for most guys my age, Transformers is something like sacred ground. We all watched the cartoon show, we all had the toys (or at least wanted the toys) and we all wanted to go to Cybertron and help Optimus Prime destroy the Decepticons. Most of us also love the movie, hated Rodimus Prime, and couldn't transform the Megatron figure to save our lives. Some of us even wanted to build our own life-size Unicron... but only the really cool kids.

As I was saying...
This movie is pretty much going to be under a lot of scrutiny by people my age. There are already many people that are offended by the way the 'new' Transformers look (personally, I think they look cool - 80's cars and trucks would look very out of place driving around). But for the most part, people who have won free tickets to this premiere are nothing more than young people who didn't grow up with the show or have any idea who Unicron even is. I mean, hello you have to listen to the Edge for tickets - the station for brain dead teenagers who want to hear the same song by untalented people all day every day!

Whereas I feel the midnight screening is where the fans are going to be. The people who remember what it was like to watch Optimus Prime die. The people who remember that classic transforming sound. I people who will all smile when Starscream makes his first appearance. I don't think I could handle seeing this movie with people that don't even know who Starscream is.

No offense to those that have tickets - as I know of a few people that are going to that screening. I hope you enjoy the movie. This is just one of those occasions where age actually makes a difference.

So come 12:01 am Thursdsay morning, I will be sitting in my seat with my Decepticon t-shirt and surrounded by Transformers fans from the Golden Age of Cybertron, ready to relive the excitement we all felt as a child when we first saw the Autobots save Earth from the Decepticons.

Otherwise, a certain movie is going to blasted in my blog Thursday morning.

Oh Yeah, I'm Predictable

I realised this morning that my blogs are becoming increasingly predictable; they are either about wrestling, or just me bitching about Paul McCartney or George Lucas.

So on that vain, I thought we would continue this week's trends and just have a little look at

TODAY IN THE HISTORY OF THE BEATLES

Today, in 1964, The Beatles performed their concert in Wellington. That's pretty cool, in my books. Pity I was 16 years away from being born.

And in 1966, this was the last day of the Revolver sessions. That's also pretty darn cool.

And finally, on this day in 1968, The Beatles purchased their new Apple Offices on 3 Saville Road. It is of course, the building where they performed their famous rooftop concert. I might write a blog on that concert...

So was that interesting? Maybe not.

But isn't it a fun way to waste a blog?

So my mission for all of next week is to avoid the main three topics for my blogs, and see if I can still write anything worthwhile. But then again, I haven't managed to write anything worthwhile in a very long time, so taking away my main source of inspiration may not help.

Actually, as a warning to you all, next week could be a Transformers-heavy week, with the new movie out and all. I have my tickets - do you?

And to Add...

Just because that was so darn long...

I must point out that I haven't actually watched much WWF/E programming since 2001 (or was it 2002? I can't remember exactly). I made a point to start boycotting it then after watching a match that involved Chris Benoit where they just rehashed the Montreal Screwjob yet again.

I had been disappointed with all the trash that was going on, and for them to just bring up Montreal again and kick dirt on the legacy of Bret Hart one more time, I got fed up. I remember turning to Eamonn that night and saying "That's it - I'm not watching this show again" and I didn't until recent years. Eamonn kept me informed if anything cool was going on, although he was disappointed that the person who was responsible for his addiction was now refusing to watch it with him.

I broke my little boycott when living in Melbourne, and I was just so bored at one point that I began hiring out some pay per view videos that had come out. And that's how I discovered the joy of Matt Hardy's "Version 1.0" character. But that only lasted a short while, and I lost interest again.

Then the first WWE product I have bought was in 2005, when they finally released the Bret Hart Collection on DVD - I couldn't resist, as it was basically overseen by Bret himself. I figured that was an OK thing to break my rules for. And boy have I never regretted it! And I did watch WWE programming for the first time on televison in May this year when staying in Timaru; Raw was on Sky, and I thought "Hey why not? I haven't watched Raw in years"

It was OK. Nothing special. Pro-wrestling the last few years has had no real attraction to me.

And then I watched Wrestlemania XX (from 2004) just last week... just because. There were some good matches... not nearly enough bad promo action, but was still pretty good.

But I do admit that I still keep up to date with things online, and that's how I know of everything that happens. Sometimes it's cool, sometimes it's not. But like I said in my previous blog, I'm not going to be paying for anything from WWE again, or contributing to their ratings in any way by watching their shows. Especially if they continue to write junk like this.

The exception to this rule will always be Bret Hart. If he's involved then it's OK.

After all, they've been a lot worse to him over the last ten years.

But then again, he hasn't been watching the shows often

The Angry Mark Returns

I thought I would just post an email I sent this morning. In case many people aren't aware, the WWE recently started an angle where Vince McMahon was getting into his limo when it exploded. This was to get him off televsion for a while - and of course, boost ratings - but they are playing it up that he died in real life (which he didn't) and are just consuming the show with all sorts of tributes to the guy.

Personally, I find the entire angle distasteful. Getting someone off televison is one thing, but killing him off in such a violent way? And treating every show like a memorial service?

And to make matters worse, Sensational Sherri - a former WWF star - tragically passed away last week, and yet they can't seem to find time in their show to do anything to remember her. And so for this, I am changing my long time saying to this:

F*** You, WWE!©

So, a guy had this column on it (he's a cool guy - we've emailed a few times about various wrestling things) and I emailed him. And then I sent it to the feedback section at WWE.com.

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Just read your latest column on Wrestleview and I couldn’t agree more. This last week of programming has only served to gain more media attention for the McMahon family and belittle the REAL deaths of former wrestlers like Owen Hart, Eddie Guerrero and, most recently, Sherri Martel

Firstly, I have to say that with the lack of guys like Shawn Michaels and Triple H on the roster, I have actually been excited to see what WWE were going to do; I’ve been pretty sick of seeing these guys hog the main event spotlight (totally reminds me of WCW when Hogan reigned), and without them around WWE were finally going to have to start giving other people a real push in the main event scene. And you want to get Vince McMahon of television? You won’t hear any complaints from me – I’ve been hoping for that for years!

But I’m just so offended by the way they have gone about this angle. The whole thing smacks of the Vince Russo approach to wrestling; if it’s terrible, it will get people’s attention. Blowing up a limo and having him presumed dead? Just a little over the top… and completely ludicrous! And honestly, I could almost handle that… but then on the following 3 shows not only do we have to sit through a ten bell salute for someone who is NOT dead, we also get subjected to guys like Mick Foley coming out to pay tribute to Vince and all he has done. And don’t even get me started on the whole ‘Whodunit?’ crap we are going to have to put up with for the next year or so, only for Vince to come back on TV and confront the person responsible, and then fight them at Wrestlemania where he wins every belt in the company and inducts himself into the WWE Hall of Fame, alongside Dennis Rodman and Cyndi Lauper. Or will it be a repeat of that whole "Higher Power" angle, where despite logic it’s revealed it was Vince all along?

Personally, I couldn’t care less. The last ten years have shown me something truly awful about Vince McMahon and the WWE Creative team; if it happens to a wrestler, we can make it part of the story. First we had the Montreal Screwjob, which seems to get up brought up at least once a year as a finish to a match. Seriously, how many times have we now seen a repeat of that as part of the story? Then you get Raw is Owen after he falls to his death in the middle of the freakin’ ring; you can’t stop an event after it happens, but you can exploit it the next night on TV? And we are only just getting a break from the 18 months of exploitation of Eddie Guerrero – I honestly don’t know how these people can justify anything that has gone on with that. Heck, even Steve Austin’s broken neck got glorified – remember Owen 3:16? And now next week, we get a special 3 hour tribute show to Vince McMahon...

Shoot me now.

And yet, when a former WWE Superstar – and recent Hall of Fame inductee – dies tragically, what do they get? A moment of silence. I even just looked at WWE.com and under the 117 stories about Vince McMahon, there is finally some mention of Sensational Sherri right at the bottom of the page. So while the WWE makes the most they can out of pretending someone was killed on their show, they continue to ignore the real-life tragedy of someone that gave their all to the business that WWE claims to be. Way to show proper respect to your former employees who made your company what it is today.

I must add, that I’ve lost respect for Mick Foley over this too. For a guy who was so close to Owen Hart and Eddie Guerrero, and felt the pain of their tragic deaths, to play a part in this angle is not something I understand at all. I know people will say that "It’s his job" and "He still has to feed his family" and while I totally agree, you can’t tell me that a guy like Mick Foley can’t afford to say "NO" to this.

For me, this is the absolute final straw; after 18 months of watching Eddie Guerrero’s name being splattered all over the screen just to further Rey Mysterio’s career, after watching Vince McMahon call for a bell during a submission maneuver for ten years, and after watching countless legends get passed over so Vince can induct pointless celebrities into the WWE Hall of Fame, this story and it’s execution has just really bothered me far too much. Giving Vince McMahon even more airtime after his fake death is one thing, but to then place so little worth on the passing of a former superstar – a Hall of Famer, no less – is inexcusable. So, I am hereby boycotting WWE programming for the rest of my life. No longer will I spend money on Pay-per View events, live shows, DVDs or any other merchandise – I refuse to support and contribute to a company that shows again and again that human life is nothing they respect. To me, they are making a mockery of those that lose loved ones everyday, while continuing to ignore the contributions of Superstars of the past. If I get curious about what’s happening, I can always find results online – and at least then I don’t have to sit through all the crap they put on TV. But WWE are certainly not getting a single dime out of me again.

Its times like this I miss WCW even more. They may have done some stupid stories, but I know they would never have gone this low.

As far as I’m concerned, Vince McMahon, the Creative team and everyone at WWE involved in this angle can go to hell.

Making Fun of Old People is Fun

So today (or yesterday I guess) is Paul McCartney's birthday.

Happy Birthday, McMarketing!
Hope you sell more of your crappy new album.

I got thinking last week while I was writing my blogs on The Beatles, and during my usual digs about Paul McCartney and his never-ending desire to be loved by millions and make more money, I came to a startling conclusion:

Paul McCartney is the George Lucas of the music industry!

Think about it...

George Lucas is famous for making a movie 30 years ago (Star Wars) that was revolutionary and captured everyone's imagination. After that, he oversaw 2 sequels to that movie (The Empire Strikes Back & Return of the Jedi), and although he wasn't the director he still seems to get the most recognition for the films. After that, he managed to come up with the occasional story (Willow, Labyrinth), but soon realised that the best way for him to make lots of money was to capitalise on the success of Star Wars and find ways to market it in various forms; toys, clothing, lollies, games and action figures - anything fans would pay a dollar for. Not satisfied with his millions, and unable to think of anything new due to complete lack of talent, he then surrounds himself with 'yes men' that will tell him how great he is, begins reworking the original Star Wars movies to be more like his original vision and releases more Star Wars movies that not only stink up the screen, but should be destroyed from all existence so that humanity may be spared. And then he forces even more marketing saturation on us, putting the Star Wars name on everything in the world.

Paul McCartney is famous for making music 40 years ago that was revolutionary and captured everyone's imagination (Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band). After that, he was part of more legendary albums by The Beatles (The Beatles, Abbey Road), and while he wasn't responsible for the greatest songs of these albums he still seems to get the most recognition for them. After that, he managed to write the occasional good song (Jet, Band on the Run), but soon realised that the best way for him to make lots of money was to capitalise on the success of The Beatles and find ways to market himself and The Beatles in various forms; toys, clothing, lollies, games and action figures - anything fans would pay a dollar for. Not satisfied with his millions, and unable to think of anything new due to complete lack of talent, he then surrounds himself with 'yes men' that will tell him how great he is, begins reworking original Beatles albums to be more like his original vision (Let it Be... Naked) and releases more solo music that not only stinks up the airwaves, but should be destroyed from all existence so that humanity may be spared. And then he forces even more marketing saturation on us, putting the McCartney name on everything in the world.

So what I'm trying to say is this:
Both men are incredibly rich and famous for things they accomplished decades ago. And while both were very talented, they have both gotten so wrapped in their own egos that they haven't made anything worthwhile since their heyday, and as such continue to pump out material void of any creativity because fans are stupid enough to still give them money - just because of who they are! It's amazing just how much George Lucas & Paul McCartney fans continue to support their heroes, no matter how terrible their work gets.

So I just have a few messages for some people...

George Lucas: leave the original Star Wars movies alone - they were fine the way were and no one likes Hayden Christensen, so keep him out of Return of the Jedi. No one is going to forget who you are, just please let the saga go. You can still enjoy your billions of dollars and surround yourself with people who think Jar-Jar was a great idea.

Paul McCartney: The Beatles were 4 people - they weren't called Paul McCartney & The Beatles. And you haven't written a halfway listenable song in a decade, so it's time to let it go. There are still plenty of people out there willing to say you are great, and you've shown us that with your money you can still get a young wife.

And to the fans of these two "icons": STOP BUYING THEIR RUBBISH AND ENCOURAGING THEM TO MAKE MORE!!!