Jim Kelly June Jamboree: Black Samurai (1976)

THE MOVIE

We are back in Hong Kong, where some ugly dudes are following a girl while she shops. Turns out she's a rude bitch.

The girl is some government dude's daughter and these ugly guys are going to kidnap her? Are we playing 'Let's Try That Again'?!? And what's with the seductive music while she gets kidnapped? Before I can answer, the opening credits are here with an awesome theme and all sorts of epilepsy.

It's my main man - Jim Kelly! And he's giving some lady a whooping... in tennis.

The Man turns up and says he needs to get back to work and go after a bad dude called Agustus Janicott, "a high priest of the occult" who uses his slaves as drug runners and prostitutes. Jim Kelly is Robert Sand, an agent for an organisation called D.R.A.G.O.N. - and he doesn't appreciate The Man interrupting his vacation, so no matter what they say about this dude, he is not interested. Until they explain that he is behind the kidnapping we saw earlier. And the girl kidnapped isn't just a government dude's daughter - she is Sand's secret girlfriend, Toki! Of course, he is now on the case!

Sand flies to wherever this is all going down and is immediately under attack from the bad guys; they attack him in his car and they attack him while at home doing some training.

But of course Sand just whoops their butts and then crashes Janicott's party. Well, he had an invite from somewhere, but he proceeds to hit on Janicott's main girl in the most hilariously arrogant and uninterested way that I'm sure he won't be welcome for long.

You can tell Janicott is a real high-roller, because his parties feature a 20-piece Mexican band, a drugged up white girl dancing badly, and... a buzzard. Janicott invited Sand as some sort of trap, so throws his whole party out of the window by starting a rumble with him. What a shitty host. Sand walks along rooftops and whoops all of Janicott's men - including stomping some dude's balls and calling him "Whitey fa***t!".

Pretty sure that's a hate crime there, Sand. 

Then he beats up more dudes, and a couple of midgets, before making his escape. Janicott expresses his disappointment with his top henchman/black gay pirate, Bones, who just responds with "That's okay".

Janicott feeds an old white dude to his snakes to make an example of him. I mean, I would think that sort of thing would make Sand happy? Maybe the black gay pirate, too? Anyways, Sand goes on the hunt for his beloved Toki; first to one of Janicott's businesses (where he gets in another rumble), and then to one of his associates' house - via a fucking jet pack!

There, he fights with some jungle men and is forced to kill another midget. Dude is just committing hate crimes all over the place. Turns out Toki is actually at Janicott's house, so it's back there to stop her being sacrificed for one of his black magic rituals or something. Sand must defeat the gay pirate Bones and then finally put a stop to Janicott and his evil ways, so that he and Toki can live happily ever after!

REACTION

Now this is a Jim Kelly movie! It is quite a low-budget affair, and certainly doesn't have the charm or comedic fun that you find in something like Black Belt Jones, but this more of hard-nosed action movie with no nonsense and violence. Lots of violence. And okay, there is nonsense. Like fighting midgets and dudes dressed in loincloths. One of the more entertaining features of the film is all the hilarious ADR that gets thrown in all the time; someone might be walking the street and suddenly they will be saying something - but clearly not talking. It's especially fun during the fight scenes where they've added Jim Kelly just insulting people while he fights them. During his last fight with Bones, they both talk smack constantly in ADR - but only when the shot is of the other person, i.e. you'll have a close-up of Bones, while Jim Kelly is taunting him "Hit me - come on hit me! You are going down!"

JIM KELLY
My man was just absolutely ruthless as Robert Sand. It felt like all he cared about was himself and Toki, and he showed absoltely zero mercy to anyone in his way. Even midgets. And it was nice to see him not bowing to The Man again. Also (spoiler alert), the way he finished off Janicott was pretty darn cold. And he flew a fucking jet pack! After Hot Potato, this was exactly what was needed. Oh and I almost forgot! He defeated a fucking buzzard!

I need to watch again and figure out what D.R.A.G.O.N. stands for. Highly recommended you don't mess with Robert Sand!