Jim Kelly June Jamboree: Death Dimension (1978)

THE MOVIE

We open with a young woman having some kind of microchip implanted into her forehead. Not the most pleasant way to kick things off, thanks! Her name is Felicia and she works as an assistant for a Dr. Mason, who has been developing some sort of bomb that freezes people at the behest of 'The Pig'. Dr. Mason seems to have had a change of heart and has come up with some plot to kill himself so that the bomb can not be completed and The Pig won't get his wish. But, of course, he doesn't actually want to destroy all his research because he's a fucking dork, so he's put it all on the microchip that he's just implanted in Felicia. So you'd rather put her life in danger than save the world from disaster?

Yes, because the world needed an ice age? Or you were worried all the ice cream was going to melt?
What a fucking jerk this guy is - I'm glad he dies. Felicia escapes the compound or wherever the fuck they are and heads to Los Angeles in search of some dude in the US military she is going to give the research to. Ah cool; The Pig can't have it but the US government are allowed to use it to kill and murder. The Pig sends some dudes to get her, and that Australian James Bond George fucking Lazenby sends his best detective on the case - my main man, Jim Kelly!

Jim Kelly is Detective Ash. Wait - he's a cop?? Does that make him... the man?!?! My how things have turned...

Anyways, he comes up with some hilarious theory about one of The Pig's henchmen being Haitian because of some markings on his victim's neck being from a ring on his pinky finger that can only be from a Haitian. It made no sense to me. Especially since while explaining that, Jim Kelly also was wearing a ring on his pinky finger. So maybe he's trying to tell James Bond that he's actually the killer? Or Haitian? 

The Pig sends some goons to take out Detective Ash, so he heads to Reno to track him down. After visiting a brothel for apparently no reason to meet the most horrifying prostitutes 

and getting kicked out for perving on some old people in the spa, Detective Ash enlists the help of his kung fu fighting pal, Li, to track down The Pig. Meanwhile, The Pig has setup shop in one of his other brothels in Los Angeles to complain about the quality of his prostitutes - according to him, they need bigger boobs. Dude, if that was an issue why did you hire them? Just put it exclusively in the advertisement: "Must have big boobs." and I'm sure you'll find plenty of takers. He's also trying to sell this bomb that he actually doesn't have - the man is just that confident in his henchmen to track down Felicia. Gotta admire that kind of leadership. He's demanding no less than $50 million for the bomb. Look at this prospective buyer: 

He doesn't look like he even has $50.

Felicia gets to Dr. Mason's daughter's home, but figures out this lady isn't her because... she has a tan? The Pig keeps getting ahead of Ash, even sending his Haitian dude to kill Ash's girlfriend, so Ash thinks someone must be in cahoots with The Pig. Eventually, Felicia is captured and Ash and Li track down The Pig and give him a good whooping. And his Haitian henchman. And James Bond - he was in cahoots with The Pig, in case you didn't figure that out.

REACTION

This was made by the same director as Black Samurai, but where that movie was cheap and fun, Death Dimension is just cheap. The Pig looked less like a big-time criminal mastermind and more of a small time hustler. And the prostitutes in his brothels were downright terrifying - no wonder Jim Kelly didn't have sex with any of them! There wasn't much in the way of story. Or acting. Or sense. But there certainly was a lot of action; fight scenes, car chases, more fight scenes, even planes and helicopters and gondolas, so it was never boring. Just not anything special. Also, bah gawd how did George Lazenby go from James Bond to this in the space of 8 years?!?

JIM KELLY

My man's career started with him whooping the pigs, and now finally being a pig and whooping The Pig. Interesting development. His afro was a bit tighter and he didn't do all too much whooping in this one, - in fact, more often than not, he was the one on the receiving end - but some white dudes did get punched in the junk. And in the end, that's about all I can ask from him.

I don't have a lot to say about this one.