UWF Fury Hour: Episode 22

UWF Fury Hour Episode 22, 1st April 1991

Craig and Bruno welcome some actual newcomers to the UWF this week: Afa 'The Wild Samoan' and Bam Bam Bigelow. Bruno thinks Bigelow's tattoos are unusual.

'Dr. Death' Steve Williams vs Captain Badd
Craig recommends you bring the whole family to the UWF tapings in Florida. Sure - if you want your family to split up and hate each other forever?

Winner = 'Dr. Death' Steve Williams via usual boring squash

This dude was already a bore in 1991; how on Earth did WWF in 1998 think a feud with Steve Austin was going to be money??

Afa 'The Wild Samoan' vs Carmine Albano
Craig assumes Afa doesn't watch this show, so continuously insults his looks. Bold strategy. It sounds like they're calling Albano "Galvano" or something; are they trying to pretend he's not Captain Lou Albano's nephew now? Because they were very open about it before. And he's got "C.A." on his boots.

Winner = Afa 'The Wild Samoan' via Samoan drop

Captain Lou's Corner
Albano is not happy to introduce 'Cowboy' Bob Orton. Albano seems to be blaming all his bad deeds on John Tolos. Orton can barely get his words out properly. This. Shit's. Not. Live. Orton claims to be the best wrestler of the last 7 years - weird flex, basically saying people pre-1984 were better. How is Albano shocked at Orton's bad behaviour, when the most famous point of his career was being a bad guy against Hulk Hogan. Orton says Albano is jealous of Tolos.

The Power Twins get asked questions and they're all none of your business. They will be the next tag-team champions. Where? There are no tag-team championships here in the UWF.

The Power Twins vs 'Corporal' Chris Michaels & Tom Brandi
John Tolos gets on commentary. Bruno tells him he and his brother were a great tag-team, but Bruno didn't appreciate their cheating ways.

Winners = The Power Twins via Power Ending, though it seems to be a different move to last time, so who knows

Ask The Wrestlers

Herb says the UWF is following in the spirit and tradition of pro-wrestling in the 50's and 60's. So pro-wrestling sucked back then, huh?

Bam Bam Bigelow vs 'Cowboy' Bob Orton (w/'The Golden Greek' John Tolos)
Bigelow looks like he may have trimmed down a bit - they keep saying he's 400 pounds, but he doesn't look it. Then again, I'm watching WCW and they say One Man Gang is 450 pounds and he looks about the same size as Bam Bam Bigleow, so I just don't know. Wrestlers be lying, yo! Orton and Tolos cheat and it's supposed to be hidden from the referee so as to explain them getting away with it, but it is actually all blatantly in front of the referee. Bruno says Bigelow has great recuperative powers. I keep telling y'all: being fat is the greatest weapon a pro-wrestler can have.

Draw via time limit expired

Some people are actually cheering? I guess dumb stuff is popular here!

Thoughts:

• Snore