UWF Fury Hour: Episode 20

UWF Fury Hour Episode 20, 11th March 1991

I've got a whole new intro this week... but I'm thinking this is a different source than usual. Apparently this is "the greatest entertainment spectacle on earth!". They back this up by showing... matches that end in disqualifications and count-outs. And 'Dangerous' Dan Spivey.

Tonight! Craig and Buno tell those channel surfers to keep it right here, because we will see the much anticipated lumberjack match between 'Mr. Wonderful' Paul Orndorff and 'Dr. Death' Steve Williams!  There will be 10 wrestlers surrounding the ring and Bruno expects them to play favourites.

Also, "another fan's question gets answered tonight!". I'm pretty sure they haven't been answered properly for a few weeks now, so these "fans" shouldn't be holding their breath.

Don Muraco vs Captain Badd
Bruno wants Craig to know that he enjoys working with him. You know, Bruno never said that to Vince OR Herb. Read between the lines there, guys! However, Bruno can barely contain his contempt for Captain Badd. Craig starts mentioning all of Don Muraco's wrestling idols were and Bruno is all like "I beat him. I beat him. And I beat him, too!" Bruno would have beaten Captain Badd as well.

Winner = Don Muraco via inverted piledriver

Herb is with 'The Rock' (not that one). "What's on your mind?" "Lumberjack!"

Lumberjack Match
'Mr. Wonderful' Paul Orndorff vs 'Dr. Death' Steve Williams
The lumberjacks are out first and it's basically the whole UWF roster - including some random dudes I've never seen before. Frank E shows his amazing announcing skills by confusing 'Dr. Death' for Paul Orndorff. At first I'm like 'why is this match in the middle of the show and not the main event?' but then I realise it might actually mean it is aired in full instead of being chopped across two weeks like every other important match. Cactus Jack runs in to stop Orndorff from hitting the piledriver and the referee is knocked out. Now 'Cowboy' Bob Orton and John Tolos give Williams a briefcase so Don Muraco gets involved. 'Dr. Death' runs away before Orndorff can use it.

Winner = 'Mr. Wonderful' Paul Orndorff via disqualification

The crowd chant for the ever popular "BULL SHIT".

Herb tells Orndorff he didn't defeat 'Dr. Death. Um, he won by disqualification, so technically he did. Orndorff acknowledges the crowd are not happy so he wants a cage match! The crowd cheers, but it's not like the match will be happening now so why would they be happy? Herb tells Orndorff to tell Steve Williams, but Orndorff is like 'fuck you - you're the boss, do you're fucking job!'

Ask The Wrestlers

All the matches were great because Tolos is great. He then puts over Classy Freddie Blassie big time.

B. Brian Blair (w/shitty new entrance theme) vs The Beast
Craig thinks The Beast wears a mask because he's embarrassed about his wrestling skills. Bruno thinks he should change his name to The Lamb. I think he needs to fix the elastic in his pants.

Winner = B. Brian Blair via shitshooter

Bruno is having a great time making fun of The Beast.

Captain Lou's Corner
Wet N' Wild are here and claim they don't have a name for their new tag-team combination, so Albano figures out they should be called Wet N' Wild. Y'all realise they wrestled under that name last week? With graphics and everything? Even had a name card at the start of the show - which I fucking screen-capped in my recap?? Albano thinks now they will be the greatest tag-team of all-time. Suck my balls.

Some fans are excited for the UWF!

The Power Twins vs Chris Michaels and Tom Brandi
Holy shit these jobbers got an entrance AND name graphics! They're both wearing military camo pants - perhaps they have graduated to full-time not jobbers?

Winners = The Power Twins via top rope elbow which may be called The Power Ending

The Power Twins call Herb a midget. Dudes, he's about the same size as your manager. They want to fight Wet N' Wild again.

We get highlights of the lumberjack match? So when there is a big match, they either chop it up and play it in parts OR they play it twice in one night??

Thoughts:

• Pointless
• Making jokes about how awful The Beast is sounded like the most fun Bruno has had in some time.