UWF Fury Hour: Episode 15

UWF Fury Hour Episode 15, 21st January 1991

We open with a recap of Colonel DeBeers being a racist man, and 'Iceman' King Parsons being a nonsense man.

'Iceman' hits us with some rhyming and jiving.

Craig and Bruno are with a "sellout crowd" in New York. Bruno refuses to recognise DeBeers' military rank and just calls him "Mister". Herb runs us through our wrestlers for today.

'Cowboy' Bob Orton w/'The Golden Greek' John Tolos vs Sonny Blaze
Did Orton always come out to the theme from Bonanza?

Winner = 'Cowboy' Bob Orton via superplex

Orton seems to have modified how he performs that move now - perhaps not keen for another superbotch. After the match, he beats on Blaze some more and throws him at Bruno ringside.

'Mr. Wonderful' Paul Orndorff vs Chris Michaels
Orndorff also tries to throw Michaels at Bruno. Is there some sort of backstage game where you see who can take out Bruno with a jobber?

Winner = 'Mr. Wonderful' Paul Orndorff via squash

'Mr. Wonderful' blasts arms!

Herb talks to Bruno about his book. Given his life, I would actually expect it to be a very interesting read. He says that the last few years he'd been disillusioned with where pro-wrestling was heading, but the UWF has him hopeful for the future. Yeah... this would not be it. And you'd hate the future even more, don't worry.

'Dr. Death' Steve Williams vs I Don't Know Chris Dorm Maybe?
Bah gawd I have nothing to talk about today.

Winner = 'Dr. Death' Steve Williams via squash

They are still selling 'Dangerous' Dan Spivey t-shirts??

'Dr. Death' Steve Williams says his match with Orndorff will be a blood bath. 

Captain Lou's Corner
I'm not sure I'm in the mood for this nonsense today. Albano brags about having a black cousin or something, so 'Iceman' King Parson comes in jiving about Colonel DeBeers. He hits his usual catchphrases and Albano is now trying to pretend he's a black man or something.

'Mr. Wonderful' Paul Orndorff is a serious athlete that needs nutrition in the form of a muscle building drinks.

Ask The Wrestlers

The man is wrestling on television every week and this is your question for him? Understandably, Orndorff seems quite hurt by the rumours. And the question.

Cactus Jack vs Mike Williams
They brawl outside of the ring and it makes it hilariously clear they are in an old hotel; the floor is carpeted in a very old-fashioned style.

Bruno asks Craig how he'd feel if his sister brought Cactus Jack home as her new boyfriend. Bruno, do you know something Craig doesn't know? Craig calls the carpet "cement". Seriously.

Winner = Cactus Jack via countout

Where is Herb this week? I thought he was supposed to be shouting maniacally at the wrestlers after they finish wrestling?

'Iceman' King Parson vs Colonel DeBeers
DeBeers has ditched the eye patch. Were the New York commission responsible and refused to licence him with it?

Winner = 'Iceman' King Parson via small package

DeBeers attacks him after the match and beats 'Iceman' with a leather belt. He tries to choke him but leaves the belt waaaay too loose. In fact, his "knot" just falls apart and 'Iceman' just slips out. BAHAHAHAHA fucking dastardly bad guy with his dastardly tying.

We get a rundown of next week's show... and that's it.

Thoughts:

• Fucking boring
• WCW showed a Paul E. Dangerously "workout video" to hype his arm-wrestling match with Missy Hyatt and it was STILL better than this show.