UWF Fury Hour: Episode 27

UWF Fury Hour Episode 27, 6th May 1991

It's Craig and Captain Lou Fucking Albano from Universal Studios in Florida again. Tonight! We get a rematch of Bam Bam Bigelow vs 'Cowboy' Bob Orton, plus more information on The Beach Brawl - which will likely just be the same 30 second commercial of Herb screaming at me to order it.

'Mr. Wonderful' Paul Orndorff vs Rico Federico
Albano says something about Orndorff being "a credit to his manhood" and... ok... Then he puts over Federico for being able to withstand a fucking armdrag.

Winner = 'Mr. Wonderful' Paul Orndorff via Piledriver

Orndorff puts over Federico, but says he's looking forward to the tournament because it will be more competitive. I would imagine he's also looking forward to getting out of the sun.

Boris Zhukov vs Corporal Kirschner
Albano continues to mock the Russian national anthem with other random noises. He makes a comment about how Russians choke under pressure - all while the Russian is destroying his opponent.

Winner = Corporal Kirschner via rollup

Maybe Albano was right?

UWF Sportschannel TV Championship Tournament Update
Colonel Debeers defeated 'Iceman' King Parsons - those guys are still in the company? Or are we just going to count matches from previous shows? Don Muraco defeated Afa. According to Brian, both of these matches featured controversy. In the UWF?? I am in shock!

UWF wrestlers and random nerds all enjoy Super Weight Gain 3000.

'The Golden Greek' John Tolos still likes this limo...

Herb shilling Universal Studios absolutely cheapens the whole experience.

Captain Lou's Corner
Today's "guest" is Boris Zhukov. Albano says he has a big head. Zhukov enjoys taking money from Americans. Dude - you lost your last match. No one's paying you shit.

Ask The Wrestlers

He's been wrestling for 5 years?? Shockingly, he has not held any titles, but plans "on holding a lot more in the UWF!". More than zero? What a tremendous goal!

The Power Twins vs David Perry & SomeOther Jobberdude

John Tolos joins the commentary team and the show is immediately improved. Honestly, please replace Albano with this man. Tolos and Albano trade ugly jokes from the '50s. Albano complains about Tolos not paying attention to the wrestling; motherfucker, you spend every match just making terrible jokes and trying to put yourself over. Fuck off.

Winners = The Power Twins by possibly the Power Ending

Bam Bam Bigelow vs 'Cowboy' Bob Orton

This is just very similar to their previous match. At this stage I'm trying to tune out the commentary before I'm forced to stick asparagus in my ears.

Winner = Bam Bam Bigelow via disqualification

Herb tells us time constraints means we won't get to see the B. Brian Blair match he promised earlier? Well, then, I guess today's episode wasn't totally awful...

Thoughts:

• I still have another 2 episodes with Captain Lou Albano on "commentary".
• WCW this week featured Missy Hyatt beating up Paul Heyman, so I think I'll give that the win this week (although, that show was almost as bad as this nonsense)