UWF Fury Hour: Episode 32

UWF Fury Hour Episode 32, 10th June 1991

This was taped before The Beach Brawl but aired after, so I have no idea what they are going to talk about. Hence I stuck with aired date order and am watching after The Beach Brawl. But really, I'm expecting the usual bunch of shitty matches that mean nothing so it probably doesn't matter anyways...

Herb's in the control room to say thanks for watching The Beach Brawl. I don't know who is now doing the voice over work for the show preview, but I really want Herb back doing it. Pro-wrestling shows need crazy people yelling at me!

Joshua Bengorian vs Hog Calhoun

Bengorian is attacked before the bell and Bruno blames it on being inexperienced in the UWF. I blame it on being a fucking hilariously useless numbnuts. 

Winner = Joshua Bengorian via Israeli Airforce Bomber

Bruno is almost in shock that this goof won the match.

The next few weeks will be highlights of The Beach Brawl. So if you think this week is pointless, just you wait!

Chris Michaels & Tom Brandi vs Captain Badd & The Beast

Wow a battle of the most irrelevant wrestlers on the show! The Beast goes for a dropkick but it ends up being more like a leg clothesline. Craig calls it a "knee kick". Even Bruno can't pretend that wasn't a stupid thing to call it.

Winners = Chris Michaels & Tom Brandi via top rope dropkick

Craig says Michaels & Brandi stole that one. Yeah man, you make sure those good guys get over huge!

Buy a Dan Spivey t-shirt so you can show your support for him at the next UWF show!

Captain Lou Albano compares pro-wrestlers to boxers and thinks a pro-wrestler has more ways to beat a boxer. Not in a boxing match!

Ask The Wrestlers

Colonel DeBeers says he's blind in one eye, which is why he wears the patch. Voice over guys says he's also blind in the brain. What?

Wet N' Wild vs The Messenger & Brian Donahue

Bruno thinks these guys are slowly improving - that's not hard, considering how bad they were. And compared to some of the shitburgers that often appear on The Fury Hour. 

Winners = Wet N' Wild via rocket launcher splash

Captain Lou's Corner

There's a new champion, but instead of talking to him we'll talk to the guy that DIDN'T win in the main event. Albano says Bam Bam is going to get the belt eventually. Voice over guy calls them both ugly. I mean, he's not wrong...

"Golden Oldies"

We get a replay of the lumberjack match from earlier in the year. I won't bother writing about it again.

Power Twins vs Soul Train Philips & Cash Jackson

Bruno moves off commentary so the leader of The Guardian Angels can take over. He talks about beating up criminals and they might hire some of the wrestlers to help out. He's a total New Yorker, so he also appreciates Bruno. But not as much as his wife, apparently.

Winners = The Power Twins via double team destruction

"Golden Oldies"
B. Brian Blair vs Mike Williams
Did I review this already? I would have to look back and that feels like more effort. So let's review it this time and see what I think. Or I could just watch and realise it lasts all of 2 minutes so nothing to review.

Winner = B. Brian Blair via shitshooter

'Dr. Death' Steve Williams wants you to call him. Now! The new champion's only appearance on the show was begging for calls to the hotline??

Thoughts:

• The most boring and pointless show yet.
• WCW at least had some intrigue and story progression this week, while UWF just sat around going 'duuuhh'