UWF Fury Hour: Episode 37

UWF Fury Hour Episode 37, 15th July 1991

Tonight is highlights of the illustrious career of 'Dr. Death' Steve Williams. Well... at least his UWF career. Wow. Can't wait...

First he started a feud with 'Mr.' Wonderful' Paul Orndorff, which involved many attacks from behind. He beat 'Mr. Wonderful' with a chair and "I don't go behind the back, that's why I tell everybody... watch your back". I laughed again.

Now it's time for highlights of their lumberjack match - including the entrances of the lumberjacks. Are we really that desperate for content? I find it hard to have an interest in reviewing this match again, because it was pure nonsense.

Now it's time for the steel cage match! Herb calls it the place "no man wants to go". Except Orndorff straight up asked for it, didn't he?

Steel Cage Match
'Mr. Wonderful' Paul Orndorff vs 'Dr. Death' Steve Williams
Fuck it, I'll bite. Orndorff tries to escape early - which makes no sense, since he asked for the steel cage because he wanted to get revenge. Even Bruno expresses how much nonsense that is. 

ZOMG THE UWF OATMEAL COOKIES. I very much want a pack now. I would eat them while listening to this Jeep Wrangler song.

I get the feeling escaping the cage was the ONLY way to win this match, which is incredibly poor booking. Orndorff goes to walk out the cage door and Terry Gordy slams it on his head.

Winner = double-disqualification nonsense

Gordy gets in the cage and helps Williams beat on Orndorff. Cactus Jack waits outside to stop anyone getting in to help, so Don Muraco comes out and beats him up. Muraco gets in the cage and the bad guys beat him up to.

This led to: Don Muraco vs Terry Gordy - which never happened - and Mr Wonderful vs... Colonel DeBeers? Again, awesome booking.

Also double-disqualification in a Steel Cage match is the most bullshit ever, right up there with double-countout in a fucking Street Fight.

Bam Bam Bigelow says nothing will stop him from destroying 'Dr. Death'.

'Dr. Death' says... something?

Now we are treated to Bigelow's Beach Brawl promo: he has been "studying hard!" He has "ability, do-bility and ho-bility..." "Mo' money, mo' happy!" and other various hilarities.

Craig says 'Dr. Death' had to "get through the toughest matches of the tournament". It was the ONLY match of the tournament.

'Dr. Death' talks about secrecy in his training camp, "but there'll be no surprises for Bam Bam!". I thought that was the point of secrecy? Brian asks him what his motivation for this match is - winning the title isn't enough for you, Brian?? Williams complains about people stabbing him in the back. MOTHERFUCKER you did that to Orndorff every week from day one. Then he threatens Bigelow with an arm-drag. Ooooh no! I'm surprised Bigelow didn't just forfeit right now.

The Making of a Champion

Frank Sinatra sings us My Way over the top of more highlights of 'Dr. Death' Steve Williams - including promos WITH NO SOUND. Again, 'Dr. Death's UWF highlights mainly involve him beating 'Mr. Wonderful' with chairs. What - no footage of him squashing Davey Meltzer the one time he was actually a good guy?

Oh, wait - that highlights package was our main event.

Thoughts:

• It may surprise you to know that 'Dr. Death' Steve Williams was actually related to Herb Abrams.
• I was going to bury this episode as a complete waste of time, but that end video package was hilarious; Sinatra crooning while a big hairy dude beats people with chairs? The whole shit was bizarrely surreal and had me laughing out loud.
• This week in WCW: Great American Bash 1991 - also a waste of time that featured some entertaining moments. But at least Ric Flair is gone for the next 18 months, so that's a bonus.