UWF Fury Hour: Episode 4

UWF Fury Hour Episode 4, 22nd October 1990

This week we get some new graphics that displays the wrestlers with their hometowns and weights.

Cool.

Ivan Koloff vs Random Jobberdude
Herb mentions that Ivan beat Bruno for the WWWF title, but Bruno puts him over as being awesome because Bruno is a true champion. He also claims wrestlers from all over the world are wanting to join the UWF, because Bruno is aware of who is paying him. Ivan throws the jobberdude into a wooden chair and Herb just loses his mind. It would seem Herb remembered to take his coke today. He's also now trying to get Bruno to come out of retirement.

Winner = Ivan Koloff via dastardly meanness

Pretty sure last time I saw him in WCW he had just become a good guy. Now he's threatening a match with his "nephew" Nikita Koloff. Again, I thought that feud had ended already.

The Bounty Hunter (w/'The Golden Greek' John Tolos) vs Jobber Jobberson

Herb is going nuts about The Golden Greek. I've never heard of him, but Bruno is putting him over so he must be somebody. Some random music suddenly starts playing... and then stops. What?
And then it happens again. What what??

Winner = The Bounty Hunter via squash

Jobberson gets thrown out of the ring then just gets up and shrugs and walks away like he didn't just have a match and get smashed but ok.

Nikita Koloff vs Riki Ataki
Nikita's ribs are taped up - he's fighting injured! What a man!  Herb is shouting like a maniac about his love for Nikita or something. 

Winner = Nikita Koloff via 'Russian sickle' clothesline like every other Nikita Koloff match except he no longer has massive arms so it looks less impressive

Ivan Koloff attacks Nikita after the match.

David Sammartino tries to cut a promo. He tries.

'Mr. Wonderful' Paul Orndorff is shilling the merch. I would certainly consider purchasing from him over B. Brian Blair, that's for sure.

No Disqualification
David Sammartino vs Cactus Jack
Cactus Jack attacks David as he enters the ring to get the advantage. We are treated to a close-up of David so Herb goes on a rant about Cactus Jack's appearance. Bruno and Herb can be seen sitting at a table near the ring and I'm shook because I totally thought just recorded the commentary in a studio afterwards. Cactus Jack pulls out all sorts of bad things, like low blows and throwing rubbish bins. Bruno does not appreciate any of this. David fights back using actual wrestling moves, so Jack just says fuck it and cheats because it's no disqualification.

Winner = Cactus Jack via international object and feet on the ropes during the pin

Bruno, being the great sport he is, is just all "Well... that's how it goes".

That was actually a great match.

Ivan rants about Nikita. Nikita rants about Ivan. Again, I am fairly sure they both left NWA/WCW reunited. Also, Nikita's t-shirt has him with a bald head - he's had hair for a few years now. UWF really on the ball!

Ken Patera vs Robbie Allen(?)

The crowd chant "Jailbird" at Patera and Bruno says that is not very nice. He then goes on and on to explain why the crowd are chanting "Jailbird" at Ken Patera. And in great detail. This is less helpful than you would think, Bruno. But now Patera is heeling it up, so I guess it is kinda helpful? Bruno fucking knows.

Winner = Ken Patera via full nelson

Ken Patera gets on the mic and says the kid he just squashed is better than all the other babyfaces in the UWF.

Captain Lou Albano's Corner
Ken Patera is STRONG! But Captain Lou Albano thinks Patera needs to respect Bruno Sammartino, which reminds Patera why he fired Albano back in 1980. My dudes - that was 10 years ago now. If Ken Patera were as strong as he is crap at promos, dude would have won gold at the Olympic games.

B. Brian Blair is back to shilling t-shirts.

Billy Jack Haynes and his missing teeth are back to tell us stuff about the UWF.

THE VIKING! appears to tell us that despite this being his very first appearance - or even mention - on UWF television, he doesn't need to tell us who is or where he is from.

'Mr. Wonderful' Paul Orndorff vs 'Cowboy' Bob Orton
Herb is losing his fucking mind over this match. And the crowd are actually pretty hot for it, too. It's two old pros who know what they're actually doing. Especially when it comes to not putting anyone over.

Winner = 'Mr. Wonderful' Paul Orndorff via countout

Herb and Bruno are not happy with this result - they both blame the referee for not counting correctly or something. Orton gets on the mic and starts to lay out an argument as to why he was robbed... but then just completely freezes and leaves.

Thoughts:

• No lie - this was episode was fucking fun!