UWF Fury Hour: Episode 3

UWF Fury Hour Episode 3, 15th October 1990

Apparently last week's show got a fantastic reaction! Are they referring to me managing to not kill myself while watching it?

Bruno seems to be showing genuine excitement for this week's show, while Herb looks... like Herb. Then we get a run down of all the wrestlers you will see today, because that's always fun!

'Dangerous' Dan Spivey vs Local Jobber
Herb says this guy today is just some local talent that is about to get taught a lesson. B. Brian Blair runs out and beats Spivey with a chair and Herb is very pleased. That's cheating! And way worse than anything Spivey did to him.

Winner = Dan Spivey via disqualification

Herb is convinced the jobber dude will never wrestle again. Okay.

Chief Jay Strongbow vs Houdini
Bruno wants you all to know that Strongbow is a really, really nice guy. Houdini is fucking hilarious on offense - even Bruno can't pretend anything he does looks good. 

Winner = Chief Jay Strongbow via sleeperhold

Herb thinks they should leave Houdini sleeping forever; that would fuck up the rest of the show if everyone had to wrestle around him.

David Sammartimo vs Colonel DeBeers
Bruno thinks David looks familar. DeBeers again wants the black ref removed and Bruno is acting like this didn't happen last week. This time the black referee stays but he doesn't fast count or anything - even holds counting three when he should have. So then it's a bit of back and forth until DeBeers beats up the ref and runs away.

Winner = Racism?

Dr. Death says he's feeling vibes?

The Black Knight vs Davey Meltzer
A battle of the jobbers? This should be... bad. Herb wants to discuss the reason The Black Knight wears a mask and Bruno just gives zero fucks. Herb: "Meltzer should be taking notes on this match." That actually made me laugh.

Winner = The Black Knight via Boredom

How the fuck did that match get so much time?

Chief Jay Strongbow thinks the world's greatest talent are coming to the UWF and then does a 'war dance'.

B. Brian Blair vs Riki Ataki
Herb tries to be a racist douche, but Bruno won't stand for it and puts over Japanese wrestlers. Bruno is awesome. Even if he does keep telling us he knows nothing about any of the wrestlers on the show.

Winner = B. Brian Blair via not Boston Crab

Captain Lou's Corner
Lou Albano is excited about Bob Orton, who talks about fat people?

Dan Spivey claims he is the number one contendor for the title. There isn't a champ and I haven't seen a belt, but sure.

Billy Jack Haynes vs Larry Levin
Apparently, according to Herb, getting your ass kicked by Billy Jack will make you a better wrestler. The ref botches the ending, so clearly calling his matches don't make you a better referee.

Winner = Billy Jack Haynes via whateverthefuckhappened

'Dr. Death' Steve Williams vs 'Mr. Wonderful' Paul Orndorff
A battle of the two biggest stars in the company! Herb tells us next week we will get "NAKITA" Koloff, Ivan Koloff and Ken Patera. Exciting. We now get a recap of their confontration in episode 1. I'd totally forgotten about this. Strange to blow off something like this at only week 3. Ooh Dr. Death ripped up Orndorff's t-shirt! He really is bad to the bone! And he hits a low-blow but doesn't get disqualified? 

Double Count-out

Thoughts:

• Does every main event on this show end in bullshit?