UWF Fury Hour Episode 8, 26th November 1990
Today! 'Wildman' Jack Armstrong will be teaming up with Cactus Jack. I don't know who the hell he is or why I should care, but whatever.
Herb Abrams is "still trying to get over what happened last week". There was some sort of incident involving Jack Armstrong on an earlier episode? I swear - he hasn't been here before! We'll also get the finish from last week's main event. But that's all just to get you warmed up for the return of THE VIKING!!!
Nikita Koloff vs Ken Patera
Herb isn't sure Russians can count past six. Nikita goes over the top rope and the bell rings?
Winner = Nikita Koloff via disqualification
Even Herb and Bruno are like WTF?!? Apparently the referee's excuse is "Ken Patera should not have done that". Well, that was absolutely worth the wait, wasn't it!
'Cowboy' Bob Orton vs Robbie Allen
Herb wonders what The Golden Greek has planned for his "stable". You mean him and Orton? Dan Spivey in WCW? Maybe that's the plan - get them all real jobs in pro-wrestling with a real wrestling promotion?
Winner = 'Cowboy' Bob Orton via botched superplex
He's lucky that didn't end worse.
'Dr. Death' talks about fighting Paul Orndorff in New York. Cool... but when??
Larry Zybysko vs The Bulldozer
Zybysko is wearing a championship belt.
Wait - he's the UWF champion?? Oh no, he is still the AWA champion. Wait - the AWA still exists?? David Sammartino comes to the ring to intimidate Zybysko.
Winner = Larry Zybysko via slam
Sammartino leaves because a slam is oh so scary, I guess?
'Killer Bee' B. Brian Blair vs The Grappler
'Cowboy' Bob Orton and John Tolos come out, but Honey keeps them at bay with her 'stinger'. Yet she can't stop them from jumping up on the ring apron all the time.
After the match, Honey attacks Tolos with her 'stinger' so Orton beats up Blair and then Honey, too.
Captain Lou's Corner
Orton didn't realise it was a woman he was beating, but he feels like it was only to help equality. Tolos calls Honey a tarantula and doesn't think Albano has ever been on a date with a woman.
We get a recap from 2 weeks ago when the B. Brian Blair/Bob Orton feud began.
B. Brian Blair is not happy about Orton's attack on Honey. Seems this is the new big feud.
THE VIKING vs Steven DeLeon
Someone in the crowd yells "He's better than Arn Anderson!". Amen! The crowd chants "VIKING SUCKS". I think they meant "VIKING SUCH AWESOME"
Winner = The Viking - who did you think??
Herb thinks The Viking looks a little less vicious this week. Steven DeLeon is still alive, so Herb is probably correct. The Viking makes up for it by pushing a little girl on his way to the back. Go Viking, go!
Andre the Giant once again assures us he is the only giant in the UWF. I haven't seen anyone else in the UWF make any sort of claims about being a giant, so I think that's all yours, buddy.
Larry Zybysko is "waiting for a man to come to Larryland".
Oh now they are replaying the end of the 'Chief' Jay Strongbow vs Cactus Jack match that I didn't get to see. 'Wildman' Jack Armstrong interfered - so I guess that's what they were talking about.
'Chief' Jay Strongbow & David Sammartino vs Cactus Jack & 'Wildman' Jack Armstrong
Bruno wants everyone to calm down so they can avoid getting disqualified - like me, he must be getting sick of every main event ending with a DQ or a count-out. The crowd seems to like Cactus Jack a lot. Strongbow does his terrible "war dance" and "war cries". Larry Zybysko comes out to watch David Sammartino and they end up arguing outside the ring - probably about who watches matches ringside better. This leaves Strongbow in the ring alone, prime for some cheating.
Winners = Jack & Jack via hitting 'Chief' Jay Strongbow with an international object
Wait - an actual finish in the main event?? I mean, there was cheating involved, but we got an actual pinfall!
David Sammartino wants a match with Larry Zybysko. No duh.
Larry Zybysko calls himself the champion and takes credit for retiring Bruno. I thought he beat you and then got old and bored of being champion?
'Cowboy' Bob Orton and 'The Golden Greek' are "dirty rats". Orton makes a comment about Honey all over Brian's face, which just sounds... yeah...
And we're out. Herb screams us home with: "THE FURY HOUR! ISN'T IT AWESOME?"
No, Herb. No it is not.
Thoughts:
- The Viking should have murdered another jobber. Maybe Davey Meltzer?
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