5 April 1992
Hoosier Dome
Indianapolis, Indiana - USA
Attendance: 62,167
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby 'the Brain' Heenan
My thoughts before this viewing
Like VII, I saw this this show years after the fact. I remember it being OK? Like, The Bret Hart match and the WWF title match/feud were good but off the top of my head I couldn't tell you about anything else from the show or if I cared. Surely it can't be as bad as WrestleMania VII? Right?
Opening Video Package
Same music as last year. Vince McMahon is screaming again about the matches. And lots of... arrows?
3/10
National Anthem
Weird to be doing this song again - would have fit better at the last show, I would have thought. Anyway, this year Reba McEntire is for your aural pleasure. Personally, I can't stand her voice and think she should stick to karaoke bars that are far away from my ears, but whatever.
4/10
Bobby Heenan mentions that she is the sister of WWF superstar, Tito Santana. Because her name is "Arriba McEntire". Bahahaha that's actually hilarious!
Opening Match
'El Matador' Tito Santana vs 'The Heartbreak Kid' Shawn Michaels (w/Sensational Sherri)
Tito is now doing a matador/bull fighting gimmick.
Sherri is slowly approaching her WCW size, but still looks kinda hot. Kinda. She is taller than Shawn Michaels, too. That is also hilarious.
Bobby Heenan makes lots of Mexican food jokes. They aren't as hilarious.
Winner = 'The Heartbreak Kid' Shawn Michaels via pinfall with a handful of tights
5/10
In The Arena
This is new - 'Mean' Gene Okerlund is on a small stage in the arena and out come the Legion of Doom and Paul Ellering. They have nothing to say but WILL SHOUT IT ALL SO YOU GET THEIR POINT. Their point is nothing, I'm sure.
4/10
Backstage
Sean Mooney is with Jake 'the Snake' Roberts, who delivers a promo in the exact opposite manner to the Legion of Doom. Jake should write poetry.
7/10
The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) vs Jake 'the Snake' Roberts
Jake is starting to get fat and slow. The Undertaker is just slow - zombies tend not to have a great deal of speed. Except for the zombies in that Dawn of the Dead remake. If the WWF allowed those zombies to enter they would destroy everyone and eat their brains. Would eating brains be grounds for disqualification or would it count as a finishing manoeuvre?
Winner = The Undertaker via pinfall following tombstone piledriver
4/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper and Bret 'the Hitman' Hart. Piper goes on a crazy rant about the stuff he and Bret used to get up to as kids. So wait a minute - Piper is supposed to be from Scotland, but now he's saying he grew up in Canada? Bret will have none of this tomfoolery and they almost get into right then and there, but 'Mean' Gene splits them up.
6/10
Poor Bret Hart. Piper has been the absolute curse of WrestleMania the last few years...
WWF Intercontinental Championship
Bret 'the Hitman' Hart vs 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper (c)
Bret gives his glasses to a little girl in the front row. She's a bit young for you, Bret - maybe give her another ten years?
Piper falls the old 'Bret Hart pretends to be injured but when you get too close he rolls you up for a quick pin' trick. Bret then falls for the old 'your shoelaces are untied' trick and gets a punch in the face for being such a chump. It's OK, Bret - Death fell for that trick as well. It is fun watching these guys exchange minor cheating tactics.
Piper has Bret beaten and bloodied, and with the referee down threatens to hit him with the ring bell. Because all great WrestleMania matches need the ring bell.
Winner = Bret 'the Hitman' Hart via pinfall via reversal of the sleeper hold
New champion!
10/10
Of course, now that Bret beat Piper fair and square, all the animosity is gone and they can celebrate together.
Bret Hart broke the Roddy Piper curse! Funny that - he transcends mere witchcraft and chicanery.
Bobby Heenan has a live interview with Lex Luger via satellite. And by "live", I mean Bobby is live and Luger has been pre-recorded. They often overlap or Heenan has to rush what he is saying to make things work. Hilarious failure.
1/10
Backstage
The Nasty Boys, Repo Man and The Mountie holler about their dastardly plans for the good guys. These guys all look and act like rejects from the old Adam West 'Batman' show.
1/10
Backstage
Big Boss Man just "hard time" as always. Virgil has a weird mask like he is a reverse Green Hornet. Sgt. Slaughter is a good guy again? Was his punishment for treason being forced to hang out withMy Uncle Alan 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan?
You suck, Hacksaw.
1/10
My Uncle Alan 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan, Big Boss Man, Sgt. Slaughter & Virgil vs The Nasty Boys, The Mountie & Repo Man
Guest Ring Announcer: Ray Combs from Family Feud
He has trouble reading his cue cards, which causes him to mess up the jokes. I'm sure those jokes would have been super hilarious if he had delivered them properly.
What are the chances this match is as good as that last one?
Survey says: slim.
Winners = the good guys via Virgil getting the pin
2/10
Backstage
Sean Mooney is with Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect. The have a large poster they claim is a centrefold of Miss Elizabeth. Flair truly has the worst teeth in the history of pro-wrestling.
2/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene wants to talk to 'Macho Man' Randy Savage, but he refuses to come out of his locker room. Gene speculates why. I speculate that it's because he is currently having a great run on Super Mario Bros 3 and that's the kind of shit you don't just walk away from.
WWF Heavyweight Championship
'Macho Man' Randy Savage vs Ric Flair (c) (w/Mr. Perfect)
Remember last year when Savage lost that career-ending match and was forced to retire?
Heenan plays some weird rhyming game with the name 'Flair'.
Flair is a serious cheater. But then again, Savage isn't exactly known for his sportsmanship either. Plus he's retired, so can probably do whatever he wants.
Winner = 'Macho Man' Randy Savage via pinfall with a handful of trunks
New champion!
7/10
Miss Elizabeth comes out to celebrate with her man and almost has a heart attack from some surprise pyro blasts.
The bad guys get back in the ring and beat down Macho Man some more. What a great way to celebrate winning the title.
Backstage
Sean Mooney is with Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect, because we haven't wasted enough time with Ric Flair tonight. Bobby Heenan comes in ranting and raving like a lunatic. Fuck off, Ric Flair. I don't want to see you again for at least another 10 WrestleManias.
3/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Macho Man and Miss Elizabeth. Gene questions the validity of the win. Savage doesn't care and plans on beating up Ric Flair some more. As Gene signs off you can still here Macho Man yelling in the background.
8/10
INTERMISSION
Video Package
Recap of the WrestleMania press conference where Hulk Hogan was named number one contender to the WWF Heavyweight Championship, which really upset Sid Justice. Brutus Beefcake appears a couple of times - I miss that guy. Then Sid goes on a rampage and beats up everyone in the WWF. Awesome guy.
7/10
Backstage
Sean Mooney is with Rick 'the Model' Martel. He says Tatanka and Native Americans don't have the style he does.
3/10
Tatanka vs Rick 'the Model' Martel
Tatanka is a "real Native American". As opposed to a pretend one?
Heenan is still very upset about Ric Flair losing. Then he gets on a roll, confusing the old term 'Indians' with the Cleveland Indians sports team. Gorilla calls Martel "Ric Flair" about a dozen times. This commentary team are on fire tonight!
Winner = Tatanka via pinfall following cross body block
3/10
Backstage
Sean Mooney is with Money Inc. and Jimmy Hart. IRS: "It's tax time!"
5/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with The Natural Disasters. Typhoon is even fatter than Earthquake. Things get so wild Gene drops his microphone.
2/10
WWF Tag Team Championship
The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc (c) (w/Jimmy Hart)
Some lady in the crowd is actually a fan of The Natural Disasters?!?!?!
Bobby Heenan: "If she was at home doing the dishes she wouldn't have time to make stupid cards like that!"/ Good call, Bobby. I'm bored. So are Money Inc. - they just say 'forget this noise' and walk out on the match. Good call, Money Inc.
Winners = The Natural Disasters via countout
2/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Brutus 'the Barber' Beefcake! Gene calls him "one of the all-time greats" and I can't disagree with that sentiment. They talk about his tragic accident (he was struck by a para-sailer while chilling on the beach and had to have his face completely reconstructed) and love of Hulkamania. He probably has the best tassells of the show.
5/10
'The Rocket' Owen Hart vs Skinner
I dig Owen Hart's outfit; the checker board patterns mixed with the neon colours really highlights the energy and excitement he brings.
Alas, Skinner is a black hole of fashion and skill.
Winner = 'The Rocket' Owen Hart via pinfall following rollup
3/10
The crowd was really dead for that. Like, call The Undertaker type of dead.
They show a quick promo for the WWF Fan Club. I think I joined that one year. Or I really wanted to join it - that actually sounds more like it. When you signed up, you got a cassette of your favourite superstar's theme music, and I never had Brutus 'the Barber' Beefcake's theme on cassette. Only when I taped it off the TV. I do have it on my iPod now, though, some 26 years later. Nine-year old me would be so jealous of 35 year-old me...
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Sid Justice and Harvey Wippleman. Sid is HUGE.
5/10
The show a clip from an interview where Hulk Hogan would not confirm if he was retiring or not.
Main Event
Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice (w/Harvey Wippleman)
Harvey's mic completely dies and I'm happy with how this is starting. Then it works again and I'm disappointed.
Hulk and Sid getting into it while Real American is still playing and Hulk hasn't even ripped his shirt up - these guys mean business!
Sid proves this by beating Hogan with a bag. Oh, the brutality!
You know the drill by now; Hulk gets beat to death, then 'Hulks up', hits the big boot, body slam and drops the leg drop of doom for the pin!
Except this time, Sid kicks out!?!
The nerve of that guy... The referee rings the bell. I guess having the gumption to kick out of the leg drop of doom is enough to get disqualified these days.
Winner = Hulk Hogan via disqualification
3/10
Papa Shango runs down to the ring and attacks Hulk Hogan.
So The Ultimate Warrior's music hits and he runs down to the ring. He and Hulk beat up the bad guys and send them packing! Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior pose for the crowd as Real American plays to send us out! We never did find out if this was Hulk Hogan's last match or not...
WrestleMania VIII: The Awards
Hoosier Dome
Indianapolis, Indiana - USA
Attendance: 62,167
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby 'the Brain' Heenan
My thoughts before this viewing
Like VII, I saw this this show years after the fact. I remember it being OK? Like, The Bret Hart match and the WWF title match/feud were good but off the top of my head I couldn't tell you about anything else from the show or if I cared. Surely it can't be as bad as WrestleMania VII? Right?
Opening Video Package
Same music as last year. Vince McMahon is screaming again about the matches. And lots of... arrows?
3/10
National Anthem
Weird to be doing this song again - would have fit better at the last show, I would have thought. Anyway, this year Reba McEntire is for your aural pleasure. Personally, I can't stand her voice and think she should stick to karaoke bars that are far away from my ears, but whatever.
4/10
Bobby Heenan mentions that she is the sister of WWF superstar, Tito Santana. Because her name is "Arriba McEntire". Bahahaha that's actually hilarious!
Opening Match
'El Matador' Tito Santana vs 'The Heartbreak Kid' Shawn Michaels (w/Sensational Sherri)
Tito is now doing a matador/bull fighting gimmick.
Sherri is slowly approaching her WCW size, but still looks kinda hot. Kinda. She is taller than Shawn Michaels, too. That is also hilarious.
Bobby Heenan makes lots of Mexican food jokes. They aren't as hilarious.
Winner = 'The Heartbreak Kid' Shawn Michaels via pinfall with a handful of tights
5/10
In The Arena
This is new - 'Mean' Gene Okerlund is on a small stage in the arena and out come the Legion of Doom and Paul Ellering. They have nothing to say but WILL SHOUT IT ALL SO YOU GET THEIR POINT. Their point is nothing, I'm sure.
4/10
Backstage
Sean Mooney is with Jake 'the Snake' Roberts, who delivers a promo in the exact opposite manner to the Legion of Doom. Jake should write poetry.
7/10
The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) vs Jake 'the Snake' Roberts
Jake is starting to get fat and slow. The Undertaker is just slow - zombies tend not to have a great deal of speed. Except for the zombies in that Dawn of the Dead remake. If the WWF allowed those zombies to enter they would destroy everyone and eat their brains. Would eating brains be grounds for disqualification or would it count as a finishing manoeuvre?
Winner = The Undertaker via pinfall following tombstone piledriver
4/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper and Bret 'the Hitman' Hart. Piper goes on a crazy rant about the stuff he and Bret used to get up to as kids. So wait a minute - Piper is supposed to be from Scotland, but now he's saying he grew up in Canada? Bret will have none of this tomfoolery and they almost get into right then and there, but 'Mean' Gene splits them up.
6/10
Poor Bret Hart. Piper has been the absolute curse of WrestleMania the last few years...
WWF Intercontinental Championship
Bret 'the Hitman' Hart vs 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper (c)
Bret gives his glasses to a little girl in the front row. She's a bit young for you, Bret - maybe give her another ten years?
Piper falls the old 'Bret Hart pretends to be injured but when you get too close he rolls you up for a quick pin' trick. Bret then falls for the old 'your shoelaces are untied' trick and gets a punch in the face for being such a chump. It's OK, Bret - Death fell for that trick as well. It is fun watching these guys exchange minor cheating tactics.
Piper has Bret beaten and bloodied, and with the referee down threatens to hit him with the ring bell. Because all great WrestleMania matches need the ring bell.
Winner = Bret 'the Hitman' Hart via pinfall via reversal of the sleeper hold
New champion!
10/10
Of course, now that Bret beat Piper fair and square, all the animosity is gone and they can celebrate together.
Bret Hart broke the Roddy Piper curse! Funny that - he transcends mere witchcraft and chicanery.
Bobby Heenan has a live interview with Lex Luger via satellite. And by "live", I mean Bobby is live and Luger has been pre-recorded. They often overlap or Heenan has to rush what he is saying to make things work. Hilarious failure.
1/10
Backstage
The Nasty Boys, Repo Man and The Mountie holler about their dastardly plans for the good guys. These guys all look and act like rejects from the old Adam West 'Batman' show.
1/10
Backstage
Big Boss Man just "hard time" as always. Virgil has a weird mask like he is a reverse Green Hornet. Sgt. Slaughter is a good guy again? Was his punishment for treason being forced to hang out with
You suck, Hacksaw.
1/10
My Uncle Alan 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan, Big Boss Man, Sgt. Slaughter & Virgil vs The Nasty Boys, The Mountie & Repo Man
Guest Ring Announcer: Ray Combs from Family Feud
He has trouble reading his cue cards, which causes him to mess up the jokes. I'm sure those jokes would have been super hilarious if he had delivered them properly.
What are the chances this match is as good as that last one?
Survey says: slim.
Winners = the good guys via Virgil getting the pin
2/10
Backstage
Sean Mooney is with Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect. The have a large poster they claim is a centrefold of Miss Elizabeth. Flair truly has the worst teeth in the history of pro-wrestling.
2/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene wants to talk to 'Macho Man' Randy Savage, but he refuses to come out of his locker room. Gene speculates why. I speculate that it's because he is currently having a great run on Super Mario Bros 3 and that's the kind of shit you don't just walk away from.
WWF Heavyweight Championship
'Macho Man' Randy Savage vs Ric Flair (c) (w/Mr. Perfect)
Remember last year when Savage lost that career-ending match and was forced to retire?
Heenan plays some weird rhyming game with the name 'Flair'.
Flair is a serious cheater. But then again, Savage isn't exactly known for his sportsmanship either. Plus he's retired, so can probably do whatever he wants.
Winner = 'Macho Man' Randy Savage via pinfall with a handful of trunks
New champion!
7/10
Miss Elizabeth comes out to celebrate with her man and almost has a heart attack from some surprise pyro blasts.
The bad guys get back in the ring and beat down Macho Man some more. What a great way to celebrate winning the title.
Backstage
Sean Mooney is with Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect, because we haven't wasted enough time with Ric Flair tonight. Bobby Heenan comes in ranting and raving like a lunatic. Fuck off, Ric Flair. I don't want to see you again for at least another 10 WrestleManias.
3/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Macho Man and Miss Elizabeth. Gene questions the validity of the win. Savage doesn't care and plans on beating up Ric Flair some more. As Gene signs off you can still here Macho Man yelling in the background.
8/10
INTERMISSION
Video Package
Recap of the WrestleMania press conference where Hulk Hogan was named number one contender to the WWF Heavyweight Championship, which really upset Sid Justice. Brutus Beefcake appears a couple of times - I miss that guy. Then Sid goes on a rampage and beats up everyone in the WWF. Awesome guy.
7/10
Backstage
Sean Mooney is with Rick 'the Model' Martel. He says Tatanka and Native Americans don't have the style he does.
3/10
Tatanka vs Rick 'the Model' Martel
Tatanka is a "real Native American". As opposed to a pretend one?
Heenan is still very upset about Ric Flair losing. Then he gets on a roll, confusing the old term 'Indians' with the Cleveland Indians sports team. Gorilla calls Martel "Ric Flair" about a dozen times. This commentary team are on fire tonight!
Winner = Tatanka via pinfall following cross body block
3/10
Backstage
Sean Mooney is with Money Inc. and Jimmy Hart. IRS: "It's tax time!"
5/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with The Natural Disasters. Typhoon is even fatter than Earthquake. Things get so wild Gene drops his microphone.
2/10
WWF Tag Team Championship
The Natural Disasters vs Money Inc (c) (w/Jimmy Hart)
Some lady in the crowd is actually a fan of The Natural Disasters?!?!?!
Bobby Heenan: "If she was at home doing the dishes she wouldn't have time to make stupid cards like that!"/ Good call, Bobby. I'm bored. So are Money Inc. - they just say 'forget this noise' and walk out on the match. Good call, Money Inc.
Winners = The Natural Disasters via countout
2/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Brutus 'the Barber' Beefcake! Gene calls him "one of the all-time greats" and I can't disagree with that sentiment. They talk about his tragic accident (he was struck by a para-sailer while chilling on the beach and had to have his face completely reconstructed) and love of Hulkamania. He probably has the best tassells of the show.
5/10
'The Rocket' Owen Hart vs Skinner
I dig Owen Hart's outfit; the checker board patterns mixed with the neon colours really highlights the energy and excitement he brings.
Alas, Skinner is a black hole of fashion and skill.
Winner = 'The Rocket' Owen Hart via pinfall following rollup
3/10
The crowd was really dead for that. Like, call The Undertaker type of dead.
They show a quick promo for the WWF Fan Club. I think I joined that one year. Or I really wanted to join it - that actually sounds more like it. When you signed up, you got a cassette of your favourite superstar's theme music, and I never had Brutus 'the Barber' Beefcake's theme on cassette. Only when I taped it off the TV. I do have it on my iPod now, though, some 26 years later. Nine-year old me would be so jealous of 35 year-old me...
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Sid Justice and Harvey Wippleman. Sid is HUGE.
5/10
The show a clip from an interview where Hulk Hogan would not confirm if he was retiring or not.
Main Event
Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice (w/Harvey Wippleman)
Harvey's mic completely dies and I'm happy with how this is starting. Then it works again and I'm disappointed.
Hulk and Sid getting into it while Real American is still playing and Hulk hasn't even ripped his shirt up - these guys mean business!
Sid proves this by beating Hogan with a bag. Oh, the brutality!
You know the drill by now; Hulk gets beat to death, then 'Hulks up', hits the big boot, body slam and drops the leg drop of doom for the pin!
Except this time, Sid kicks out!?!
The nerve of that guy... The referee rings the bell. I guess having the gumption to kick out of the leg drop of doom is enough to get disqualified these days.
Winner = Hulk Hogan via disqualification
3/10
Papa Shango runs down to the ring and attacks Hulk Hogan.
So The Ultimate Warrior's music hits and he runs down to the ring. He and Hulk beat up the bad guys and send them packing! Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior pose for the crowd as Real American plays to send us out! We never did find out if this was Hulk Hogan's last match or not...
WrestleMania VIII: The Awards
- Best Match
Bret 'the Hitman' Hart vs 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper
Just a phenomenal match with all sorts of business going on, from amateur wrestling to street fighting. Light years ahead of anything else on this show. - Worst Match
Big Boss Man, Virgil, Sgt. Slaughter &My Uncle Alan'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan vs The Nasty Boys, Repo Man & The Mountie
It was like a collection of the most boring and annoying people in the WWF. I guess at least they weren't spread out across the whole card this year. - Highlight of the Show
See the 'Best Match' section. - Lowlight of the Show
Bobby 'the Brain' Heenan interviewing Lex Luger to promote the World Bodybuilding Federation. Do people actually care about bodybuilding? Not to mention how poorly this came across. They should have pre-taped everything or done the whole thing live. - Star of the Show
I would like to say otherwise, but wow did Hulk Hogan get a huge response tonight. I guess people thought it was probably going to be his last match. Jokes on you, kids! - Best Celebrity Appearance
Does Brutus 'the Barber' Beefcake count? - Worst Celebrity Appearance
Ray Combs. The guy couldn't even read from his cue cards properly. At least Arriba sang a song (though, admittedly, I didn't enjoy her performance). - Tonight's Meal
Today was a repeat of the breakfast wrap; soy bacon, eggs, spinach, tomato and spring onion topped with sweet chili sauce. Similar to yesterday but with more spinach for added goodness. The Oatmeal Creme Pie seemed like a total non-event. I wonder if all the chemicals in it are slowly killing my taste buds... 7-Up was the main drink of choice again, however some Pepsi Max was required after the tag team championship match. - T-Shirt Cleanliness
Sweet chili sauce can be quite messy. - Overall Score
Just kind of a show. The Hart/Piper match was awesome, the Savage/Flair match had potential to be awesome (if it hadn't involved Ric Flair) and the Hogan/Justice feud was actually entertaining, even if the match itself wasn't great. The rest of the show lacked anything of worth - it will all go back to being forgotten after this, no doubt.
4.5 out of 10
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