2 April 2000
Arrowhead Pond
Anaheim, California - USA
Attendance: 18,034
Commentators: Jim Ross & Jerry 'the King' Lawler
My Thoughts Before This Viewing:
I believe I first saw this show on my 20th birthday - I could actually be off by a day or two, it probably doesn't matter too much. I remember enjoying it. I think I tried to watch it again some time later and didn't enjoy it as much. It surely can't be any worse than the last few...
National Anthem
Ring Announcer Lilian Garcia is here to sing for us today. She's no 'Mean' Gene, but she does a pretty good job.
8/10
Opening Video Package
Guess what they show? A brief history of WrestleMania - how original! Tonight is all about the McMahon family. Oh fuck, what did I get myself into?
4/10
Musical Performance
Ice-T comes out with D'Lo and Godfather and a whole lot of hoes to rap a song I can only assume is called 'Pimpin' Ain't Easy' because he only says that about 50 times. And Michael Clarke Duncan is in the front row gettin' down!
6/10
The Godfather promotes prostitution and drug use. Are you surprised that the crowd loves him?
Opening Match
The Godfather & D'Lo Brown (w/Ice-T & Hoes) vs Big Boss Man & Bull Buchanan
So the Big Boss Man is still alive? The Undertaker must be a shitty undertaker - remind me not to employ his services when I need dead people disposed of.
The commentators state that WrestleMania is the ONLY WWF event where someone can achieve legendary status. What about winning the annual Royal Rumble? Or the annual King of the Ring tournament? You know, those other PPV shows that puts someone in the record books?
Winners = Big Boss Man & Bull Buchanan via pinfall following top rope leg drop
4/10
Big Boss Man and Bull Buchanan won so they think they get the girls and chase the hoes to the back. Yay sexual violence!
Backstage
HHH and his wife, Stephanie McMahon, are chilling in their dressing room.
Yawn.
1/10
Up next is a 'hardcore battle royal' - I bet this will be exciting!
WWF Hardcore Championship
Hardcore Battle Royal
The rules for this make no sense, because they actually fought mostly out of the ring and at no point was anyone awarded anything for throwing someone over the top rope. Battle Royal my ass! Almost all you need to know about this match can be shown in the following gif:
Multiply that by 15 minutes. And add in 23 championship changes. And a super botched ending.
Winner = Hardcore Holly via Crash Holly kicking out of pin and referee not counting 3
-1/10
They show some clips from Fan Axxess. The wrestlers all look incredibly bored by the entire thing, except for Michael Cole. He took part in some thing where any dork could sit with him and do commentary for a WWF match. I'm guessing it was so they could prove he isn't the worst in the world.
Backstage
Steve Blackman and Al Snow are playing around the bathroom. Yay toilet humour!
1/10
Al Snow & Steve Blackman vs Test & Albert (w/Trish Stratus)
Al Snow brings out a Mexican midget in a block of cheese costume, whose trick is slapping his bum along with the chants. Oh the excitement!
Trish Stratus has the most ridiculous breast implants.
And those are your match highlights
Winners = Test & Albert via pinfall following boredom
-1/10
When the commentators are saying the match was sucky, you know you've done a bad job
After the match, Al Snow & Steve Blackman take it out on cheese block man.
Blergh.
Backstage
The Dudley Boyz cut a promo that I totally forgot about until I saw this picture.
Triangle Ladder Match
WWF Tag Team Championship
The Hardy Boyz vs Edge & Christian vs The Dudley Boyz (c)
Mayhem and brutality.
Winners = Edge & Christian via survival
New Champions!
8/10
Backstage
Mick Foley is with Linda McMahon and says this will be the last match of his career. Oh really?
5/10
Catfight
The Kat (w/Mae Young) vs Terri (w/The Fabulous Moolah)
Guest Referee: Val Venis
What in the hell is this about? Oh I see, you win by throwing your opponent out of the ring - so like a battle royal but with 2 little women. Val Venis makes lewd jokes. Pervert.
An absolute 5 star classic. My immediate thoughts were that it was one of the greatest displays of professional wrestling I had ever seen. And while events in real life may belittle it and keep it somewhat forgotten, the Bret Hart and Chris Benoit 'Owen Hart Tribute Match' from October 1999 really should always be respected and remembered for what it was.
Oh this match? Yeah, it was the exact opposite of that match.
Winner = Terri via cheating
-5/10
Promo for WrestleMania next year. They are straight up planning to break the attendance record they set with WrestleMania III. Spoiler alert: they didn't even come close.
Backstage
Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko & Perry Saturn are talking about beating people up. Eddie wants to get it on with Chyna. Eeewwwwwww! Then it cuts to Chyna - even she is grossed out by the idea of someone wanting to get it on with her.
2/10
Too Cool & Chyna vs Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko & Perry Saturn
Hey, Eddie, I'm no expert with the ladies or anything, but I don't think beating them up in the ring is the best way to instigate some type of romantic liaison with them. Or maybe it is? Remind me to try that some time...
Winners = Chyna & Too Cool via pinfall following something
5/10
Scotty Too Hotty has to hold up Chyna's pants as they leave
Some white trash won free tickets to the show.
Backstage
Shane McMahon brags about Big Show winning tonight. I'm sick of the McMahons already.
2/10
Earlier
Kurt Angle beat up Bob Backlund. I like this Kurt Angle kid already!
Backstage
Kurt Angle tries to bribe some security guard. I really like this Kurt Angle kid!
7/10
Two Falls Triple Threat Match
WWF European & WWF Intercontinental Championships
Chris Jericho vs Chris Benoit vs Kurt Angle (c) (c)
That wasn't a typo - Kurt Angle holds both titles.
Apparently Chris Jericho thinks Chris Benoit is a robot. One of those robots programmed to kill?
Too soon?
First Fall - Intercontinental Championship
Winner = Chris Benoit
New Champion!
The commentators argue that Benoit is actually a machine. A killing machine?
Still too soon?
Second Fall - European Championship
Winner = Chris Jericho
New Champion!
Poor Kurt lost both of his titles but he didn't even get pinned once!
7/10
Backstage
Michael Cole talks to Vince McMahon to make a room full of suck. Vince believes he is the real factor in the main event and hints at a swerve. Well of course he does.
Then the H bomb rants to Stephanie.
I stab myself in the head with my remote.
2/10
Rikishi Fatu & Kane (w/Paul Bearer) vs Road Dogg & X-Pac (w/Tori)
Road Dogg & X-Pac come out to the Run DMC remix of the Degeneration-X theme, which is a million times better than the original. It doesn't stop X-Pac almost falling over.
Road Dogg's delusion of thinking he is a black guy has gotten worse and Tori is no longer dressed as Botchwoman. Kane and Paul Bearer are back together?
Man, I can't keep up with the drama! Holy fuck Jim Ross can not say Rikishi's name properly - he calls him RAHkishi all the time.
Do you see an A in that name at all? Shut the fuck up!
Winners = Kane & Rikishi via stuff happening
2/10
Too Cool come out so they can dance with RAHkishi. Oh look - it is Pete Rose yet again! This time he gets a chokeslam and RAHkishi's fat ass in his face. His contributions to pro-wrestling are really something he can take a lot of pride in and share with all his loved ones.
Backstage
Kevin Kelly talks to The Rock. It's The Rock, bitches!
9/10
Oh shit, Martin Short is here! And Dustin Diamond! Watch out, Martin - he could have a knife...
Four-Way Elimination Match with a McMahon in Every Corner
WWF Championship
The Rock (w/Vince McMahon) vs Mick Foley (w/Linda McMahon) vs Big Show (w/Shane McMahon) vs Triple H (c) (w/Stephanie McMahon)
That is way too much McMahon in one match. Or world. No one can ever seem to agree on Big Show's size and weight.
Big Show is eliminated via pinfall by The Rock
Mick Foley is now becoming so crippled he couldn't pull off a leap on to the table.
Mick Foley is eliminated via pinfall by Triple H
Foley gets a huge ovation and this is really a great way to go out. Apart from the losing and not looking good in the match. The commentators really sold how much this was his last night in the WWF; boy, they are going to feel stupid in a couple of years. Now we get a battle of the McMahons because that is what this show is all about. Stephanie proves her worth with the greatest facial expression of the show.
Then Vince gets all angry and hits The Rock with a chair!
Winner = Triple H via pin following chair assault from Vince McMahon
5/10
And the McMahons all celebrate together in the ring - hurrah for the family reunion! Because that is exactly what we were all concerned about.
The Rock comes back in the ring and beats everyone up because sportsmanship is what makes a hero in the WWF. He hits Stephanie with the people's elbow and leaves the McMahons in a mess while his music plays to send us out.
WrestleMania 2000: The Awards
Arrowhead Pond
Anaheim, California - USA
Attendance: 18,034
Commentators: Jim Ross & Jerry 'the King' Lawler
My Thoughts Before This Viewing:
I believe I first saw this show on my 20th birthday - I could actually be off by a day or two, it probably doesn't matter too much. I remember enjoying it. I think I tried to watch it again some time later and didn't enjoy it as much. It surely can't be any worse than the last few...
National Anthem
Ring Announcer Lilian Garcia is here to sing for us today. She's no 'Mean' Gene, but she does a pretty good job.
8/10
Opening Video Package
Guess what they show? A brief history of WrestleMania - how original! Tonight is all about the McMahon family. Oh fuck, what did I get myself into?
4/10
Musical Performance
Ice-T comes out with D'Lo and Godfather and a whole lot of hoes to rap a song I can only assume is called 'Pimpin' Ain't Easy' because he only says that about 50 times. And Michael Clarke Duncan is in the front row gettin' down!
6/10
The Godfather promotes prostitution and drug use. Are you surprised that the crowd loves him?
Opening Match
The Godfather & D'Lo Brown (w/Ice-T & Hoes) vs Big Boss Man & Bull Buchanan
So the Big Boss Man is still alive? The Undertaker must be a shitty undertaker - remind me not to employ his services when I need dead people disposed of.
The commentators state that WrestleMania is the ONLY WWF event where someone can achieve legendary status. What about winning the annual Royal Rumble? Or the annual King of the Ring tournament? You know, those other PPV shows that puts someone in the record books?
Winners = Big Boss Man & Bull Buchanan via pinfall following top rope leg drop
4/10
Big Boss Man and Bull Buchanan won so they think they get the girls and chase the hoes to the back. Yay sexual violence!
Backstage
HHH and his wife, Stephanie McMahon, are chilling in their dressing room.
Yawn.
1/10
Up next is a 'hardcore battle royal' - I bet this will be exciting!
WWF Hardcore Championship
Hardcore Battle Royal
The rules for this make no sense, because they actually fought mostly out of the ring and at no point was anyone awarded anything for throwing someone over the top rope. Battle Royal my ass! Almost all you need to know about this match can be shown in the following gif:
Winner = Hardcore Holly via Crash Holly kicking out of pin and referee not counting 3
-1/10
They show some clips from Fan Axxess. The wrestlers all look incredibly bored by the entire thing, except for Michael Cole. He took part in some thing where any dork could sit with him and do commentary for a WWF match. I'm guessing it was so they could prove he isn't the worst in the world.
Backstage
Steve Blackman and Al Snow are playing around the bathroom. Yay toilet humour!
1/10
Al Snow & Steve Blackman vs Test & Albert (w/Trish Stratus)
Al Snow brings out a Mexican midget in a block of cheese costume, whose trick is slapping his bum along with the chants. Oh the excitement!
Trish Stratus has the most ridiculous breast implants.
And those are your match highlights
Winners = Test & Albert via pinfall following boredom
-1/10
When the commentators are saying the match was sucky, you know you've done a bad job
After the match, Al Snow & Steve Blackman take it out on cheese block man.
Blergh.
Backstage
The Dudley Boyz cut a promo that I totally forgot about until I saw this picture.
Triangle Ladder Match
WWF Tag Team Championship
The Hardy Boyz vs Edge & Christian vs The Dudley Boyz (c)
Mayhem and brutality.
Winners = Edge & Christian via survival
New Champions!
8/10
Backstage
Mick Foley is with Linda McMahon and says this will be the last match of his career. Oh really?
5/10
Catfight
The Kat (w/Mae Young) vs Terri (w/The Fabulous Moolah)
Guest Referee: Val Venis
What in the hell is this about? Oh I see, you win by throwing your opponent out of the ring - so like a battle royal but with 2 little women. Val Venis makes lewd jokes. Pervert.
An absolute 5 star classic. My immediate thoughts were that it was one of the greatest displays of professional wrestling I had ever seen. And while events in real life may belittle it and keep it somewhat forgotten, the Bret Hart and Chris Benoit 'Owen Hart Tribute Match' from October 1999 really should always be respected and remembered for what it was.
Oh this match? Yeah, it was the exact opposite of that match.
Winner = Terri via cheating
-5/10
Promo for WrestleMania next year. They are straight up planning to break the attendance record they set with WrestleMania III. Spoiler alert: they didn't even come close.
Backstage
Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko & Perry Saturn are talking about beating people up. Eddie wants to get it on with Chyna. Eeewwwwwww! Then it cuts to Chyna - even she is grossed out by the idea of someone wanting to get it on with her.
2/10
Too Cool & Chyna vs Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko & Perry Saturn
Hey, Eddie, I'm no expert with the ladies or anything, but I don't think beating them up in the ring is the best way to instigate some type of romantic liaison with them. Or maybe it is? Remind me to try that some time...
Winners = Chyna & Too Cool via pinfall following something
5/10
Scotty Too Hotty has to hold up Chyna's pants as they leave
Some white trash won free tickets to the show.
Backstage
Shane McMahon brags about Big Show winning tonight. I'm sick of the McMahons already.
2/10
Earlier
Kurt Angle beat up Bob Backlund. I like this Kurt Angle kid already!
Backstage
Kurt Angle tries to bribe some security guard. I really like this Kurt Angle kid!
7/10
Two Falls Triple Threat Match
WWF European & WWF Intercontinental Championships
Chris Jericho vs Chris Benoit vs Kurt Angle (c) (c)
That wasn't a typo - Kurt Angle holds both titles.
Apparently Chris Jericho thinks Chris Benoit is a robot. One of those robots programmed to kill?
Too soon?
First Fall - Intercontinental Championship
Winner = Chris Benoit
New Champion!
The commentators argue that Benoit is actually a machine. A killing machine?
Still too soon?
Second Fall - European Championship
Winner = Chris Jericho
New Champion!
Poor Kurt lost both of his titles but he didn't even get pinned once!
7/10
Backstage
Michael Cole talks to Vince McMahon to make a room full of suck. Vince believes he is the real factor in the main event and hints at a swerve. Well of course he does.
Then the H bomb rants to Stephanie.
I stab myself in the head with my remote.
2/10
Rikishi Fatu & Kane (w/Paul Bearer) vs Road Dogg & X-Pac (w/Tori)
Road Dogg & X-Pac come out to the Run DMC remix of the Degeneration-X theme, which is a million times better than the original. It doesn't stop X-Pac almost falling over.
Road Dogg's delusion of thinking he is a black guy has gotten worse and Tori is no longer dressed as Botchwoman. Kane and Paul Bearer are back together?
Man, I can't keep up with the drama! Holy fuck Jim Ross can not say Rikishi's name properly - he calls him RAHkishi all the time.
Do you see an A in that name at all? Shut the fuck up!
Winners = Kane & Rikishi via stuff happening
2/10
Too Cool come out so they can dance with RAHkishi. Oh look - it is Pete Rose yet again! This time he gets a chokeslam and RAHkishi's fat ass in his face. His contributions to pro-wrestling are really something he can take a lot of pride in and share with all his loved ones.
Backstage
Kevin Kelly talks to The Rock. It's The Rock, bitches!
9/10
Oh shit, Martin Short is here! And Dustin Diamond! Watch out, Martin - he could have a knife...
Four-Way Elimination Match with a McMahon in Every Corner
WWF Championship
The Rock (w/Vince McMahon) vs Mick Foley (w/Linda McMahon) vs Big Show (w/Shane McMahon) vs Triple H (c) (w/Stephanie McMahon)
That is way too much McMahon in one match. Or world. No one can ever seem to agree on Big Show's size and weight.
Big Show is eliminated via pinfall by The Rock
Mick Foley is now becoming so crippled he couldn't pull off a leap on to the table.
Mick Foley is eliminated via pinfall by Triple H
Foley gets a huge ovation and this is really a great way to go out. Apart from the losing and not looking good in the match. The commentators really sold how much this was his last night in the WWF; boy, they are going to feel stupid in a couple of years. Now we get a battle of the McMahons because that is what this show is all about. Stephanie proves her worth with the greatest facial expression of the show.
Then Vince gets all angry and hits The Rock with a chair!
Winner = Triple H via pin following chair assault from Vince McMahon
5/10
And the McMahons all celebrate together in the ring - hurrah for the family reunion! Because that is exactly what we were all concerned about.
The Rock comes back in the ring and beats everyone up because sportsmanship is what makes a hero in the WWF. He hits Stephanie with the people's elbow and leaves the McMahons in a mess while his music plays to send us out.
WrestleMania 2000: The Awards
- Best Match
The Dudley Boyz vs The Hardy Boyz vs Edge & Christian
Just a crazy match full of ridiculous high spots. - Worst Match
The Cat vs Terri Runnels
When half-naked woman butt can't even get you a point, you know you've done something wrong. - Highlight of the Show
The Rock's promo. I had forgotten how awesome his promos were - and this wasn't even one of his best. - Lowlight of the Show
Focusing a WrestleMania main event on the McMahon family. - Star of the Show
The Rock. Who else could manage to lose in the main event and still be so awesome? - Best Celebrity Appearance
Michael Clarke Duncan. He wasn't there in any official capacity, but boy he was really fired up for this show. - Worst Celebrity Appearance
Pete Rose. Third WrestleMania in a row the dude has been beaten up by Kane - you think he'd get the hint already. Guy is the Tong Po of WrestleManias. - Tonight's Meal
Tonight I had combination of egg plant, mushrooms, onion and capsicum fried and then topped with salsa and sour cream. And big chunks of fresh avocado. Was delicious. Really delicious. Pepsi Next was back on the beverage agenda, but I think I should have had more. The Oatmeal Creme Pie was great until about halfway through, but that seems to be how those things roll. I don't think I could ever eat more than one in one sitting. - T-Shirt Cleanliness
The t-shirt took a hammering tonight; I stupidly over-filled my wraps and it caused a fair bit of spillage, some of which was caught by my t-shirt. Somehow even managed to stain one of the sleeves. It's an art form, I tell ya... - Overall Score
Again, a totally bi-polar show. The main event would have been better if it was shorter and probably even just a triple-threat match. And boy there was some super tragic stuff in here that made me question why on Earth I am even doing this. But then there was a really crazy tag match, along with Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit in their prime and before someone turned into a psychopathic murdering machine (spoiler alert: it wasn't Kurt Angle. But don't get me wrong, he has lost all his marbles as well). So that was fun. If you are a fan of Vince McMahon and want to watch him and his family do stuff then this was the show for you. Sadly, if my tags for these shows are any indication, I am not a fan of Vince McMahon and wish him nothing but pain and suffering for WrestleManias like this.
4 out of 10
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