1 April 1990
SkyDome
Toronto, Ontario - Canada
Attendance: 67,678
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura
My thoughts before this viewing:
This was probably the first WrestleMania I watched on TV back in 1990. I have no idea how far behind we were, but I remember staying up late to watch the whole thing... only to fall asleep during the main event. Because it was like 2am. And because it was boring. Even 10 year-old LOGMAN thought it was boring. Which is funny, because I always read about how that match is some sort of 5 star classic. It isn't. And I can't imagine this viewing changing my mind on that. As for the rest of the show, I remember a few things with my man Brutus Beefcake and The Hart Foundation's match (you'll see why). Otherwise, I don't remember this being a great show. I think. It might be just my distaste for the number 6 that is clouding my memory...
Opening Video Package
Hulk and Warrior are constellations battling for control of the universe
3/10
Oh Canada!
Robert Goulet here to disprove those pesky 'Mean' Gene Okerlund comparisons. And boy does he deliver, in that sweet baritone soul.
That's a national anthem, bitches! Makes me proud to be a Canadian!
If I was Canadian.
A man can dream...
9/10
Opening Match
Koko B. Ware vs Rick 'the Model' Martel
The sound mix is weird - entrance themes are insanely loud but I can't hear the commentators. Jesse said something about Guns'n Roses which I am sure was incredibly entertaining.
Quick fast-paced opener - nothing to complain about right now...
Winner = Rick 'the Model' Martel via submission using a Boston crab
5/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene Okerlund is with The Colossal Connection and Bobby Heenan. Gene makes a rude joke about their name then makes a pun when they leave. Oh, Gene...
2/10
Backstage
Sean Mooney is with Demolition. They didn't hit any of the usual key words for once - instead planned a "demolition derby". Get it? Looks like it will be a long night...
3/10
WWF Tag Team Championship
Demolition vs The Colossal Connection (c) (w/Bobby Heenan)
Demolition's theme is still the best. In a moment of honest hilarity, Jesse accuses Gorilla of being biased and Gorilla agrees.
Solid match. Haku accidentally kicked Andre the Giant in the face. That's impressive - isn't Andre about 10 feet tall by now?
Winners = Demolition via pinfall following decapitation of Haku
New Champions!
4/10
After the match, Bobby is upset and takes it out on Andre, but Andre is a giant and doesn't take any shit from a little weasel. He beats the crap out of Bobby and Haku which surprisingly makes Jesse excited - he likes getting to see fights for free!
6/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Earthquake and Jimmy Hart. According to Jimmy, all the scientists in the world are watching to see what happens. I'm sure plenty of scientists love pro-wresting. Totally. Especially when it involves big fat sweaty guys.
1/10
Hercules vs Earthquake (w /Jimmy Hart)
Apparently Earthquake has sent 28 men to the hospital. That's nice that he is able to help people with directions. Earthquake likes to jump around his opponent. Not on them - around them. What a manoeuvre! Then he sits on them. Told you being overly fat is a vastly underrated skill in pro-wrestling.
Winner = Earthquake via pinfall following sitting on Hercules with his fat ass
4/10
Some gossip columnist named Rona Barrett is having a sit-down interview with Miss Elizabeth, chat show styles. Elizabeth says she is considering a return to the WWF. So what? When she is there, all she does is stand around and looks pretty. And gets in the way. A lot.
1/10
Backstage
Sean Mooney talks to Brutus 'the Barber' Beefcake. He is still better than you.
7/10
Brutus 'the Barber Beefcake vs Mr Perfect (w/ the Genius)
Jesse has Paul Newman's eyes, Kirk Douglas' chin and Robert Duvall's haircut - sounds like he is Frankenstein's monster. That explains why he always wears bandannas.
Mary Tyler-Moore is watching in the crowd. She looks like Brutus has given her a new hairstyle as well.
Awesome match!
Winner = Brutus 'the Barber' Beefcake via pinfall
8/10
After the match, Brutus runs down The Genius and finishes his haircut.
Beefcake forever!
Video Package
Recap of the feud between 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper and Bad News Brown. They don't like each other, but I still don't know why.
2/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with a supremely racist Piper, complete with half of his face & body painted black.
Yay racism!
-4/10
What the fuck happened to you, Roddy Piper? The first 3 WrestleManias were your playground. Now you are ruining the fucking shows. GO BACK HOME AND DON'T COME BACK!
'Rowdy' Roddy Piper vs Bad News Brown
Remember when Piper retired at WrestleMania III? He doesn't either. I wish someone would and enforce that...
The microphones picks up the ref swearing at Piper. Oh, it's Dangerous Danny Davis! When did he become a referee again? This match is so exciting, I'm tweeting Brutus Beefcake to tell him how great the match with Mr. Perfect was.
For some reason Piper puts on a silver glove. Guess being racist involves some weird Michael Jackson joke I don't get.
Double countout
What a surprise - a shitty match with a shitty finish.
-1/10
Fuck off, Piper. Just fuck the fuck off.
About 10 referees come out to pull them apart and they brawl to the back.
Backstage
STEVE FUCKING ALLEN!
He's playing piano and The Bolsheviks want him to play their national anthem, but instead he just mocks them by playing random silly songs. Stupid commies aren't safe even in a nice country like Canada. Call me lame, but that was awesome.
8/10
The Hart Foundation vs The Bolsheviks
Fuck yeah. Bret Hart is a true champ and give his shades to a lucky fan in the front row. Yes, I do wish that kid was me. Fuck you.
I'm going to break down the whole match for you:
The Bolsheviks sing the Russian national anthem and the Hart Foundation don't like that being sung in their beautiful homeland of Canada, so they attack. Bell rings. They hoist up Boris Zhukov and hit the Hart Attack. That's it, bitches!
Winners = The Hart Foundation with the greatest pin in pro-wrestling history
9/10
That was almost as quick as a Ronda Rousey fight.
Jesse is pissed. Real pissed.
Promo for WrestleMania VII
Vince McMahon is screaming it will be the biggest WrestleMania of all time - pretty ridiculous to say that right in the middle of WrestleMania. I mean, should I just turn this off and watch that instead? Should I, Vince? How would that make you feel?
Dick.
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Tito Santana, who has a funky new Tito Santana t-shirt that features a sombrero. He hits the "arriba". My grandma had a budgie that learned to say that by hearing Tito's promos on Superstars of Wrestling. No joke. My Grandma was a hardcore WWF fan that would put internet jerks to shame.
3/10
Tito Santana vs The Barbarian (w/Bobby Heenan)
Tito has a cool theme that sounds like a nightclub scene in Miami Vice. Pretty sure that show was cancelled already, so I'm a bit out of touch. 1990 is just moving too fast for me.
I kinda missed a lot of this as I was making a gif of Bret Hart pinning Boris Zhukov.
Winner = The Barbarian via pinfall following murderous clothesline
4/10
Video Package
Recap of the 'Macho Man' Randy Savage and Dusty Rhodes feud, which also involves their ladies - Sensational Sherri and Sapphire. Some background info would be helpful instead of just watching them fight with no context.
2//10
Backstage
Sean Mooney is with Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire. Even with garbage to say, Rhodes is still the best on the mic. All time.
4/10
Mixed Tag Team Match
Dusty Rhodes & Sapphire vs 'Macho King' Randy Savage & Queen Sherri
Oh yeah, Macho Man is the King now.
Rhodes brings out Miss Elizabeth. Well, now the earlier segment makes more sense. Jesse doesn't want any close shots of Sapphire's bum - it is actually bigger than Elizabeth's hair. Sapphire is the worst wrestler involved. Luckily the other 3 are the best.
Winners = Dusty Rhodes & Sapphire via pinfall following interference from Miss Elizabeth
7/10
The winners shake their bootys to Dusty's theme. Get down!
Vince McMahon yells at me about WrestleMania VII again.
Backstage
Bobby 'the Brain' Heenan is losing it over Andre attacking him. Fair enough.
8/10
Jesse and Gorilla are with Rona Barrett. She has some x-rated footage of Jesse Ventura, so he quickly sends us to Sean Mooney...
1/10
Sean Mooney is with Macho King and Queen Sherri. Needless to say, they are not in a good mood after losing that match. Savage actually picks up a phone and says "You better get on the phone and call somebody!"
8/10
'Mean' Gene is with Demolition. They will be fighting champions. I'm pretty sure they would be fighting nobodies - they just like fighting.
6/10
The promos didn't take up enough time so it is...
INTERMISSION
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Hulk Hogan. He hopes Ultimate Warrior is a loser.
6/10
Sean Mooney is with The Ultimate Warrior, who decides Mooney is pathetic and throws him out. He then performs a soliloquy from RoboCop. I think. He is insane.
7/10
The Rockers vs The Orient Express (w/Mr. Fuji)
Jesse spends the match making fun of Gorilla for being old and a terrible wrestler.
Marty Jannetty gets some salt in the eyes and then comically tumbles over the barrier.
Winners = The Orient Express via countout
5/10
Backstage
STEVE ALLEN is sent to interview The Honky Tonk Man & Greg 'the Hammer' Valentine, "now known - for reasons that remain obscure" as Rhythm & Blues. They are getting ready for their performance, but somebody best call the waaaaambulance, because these dudes just got seriously BURNED.
10/10
My Uncle Alan 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan vs Dino Bravo (w/ Jimmy Hart & Earthquake)
Uncle Alan Hacksaw tries and get a USA chant going. In Toronto, you fucking moron.
And he's trying again!!!
They should deport you. We are so not related.
Winner =Uncle Alan 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan via pinfall after assault with an international object
1/10
After the match, the Canadians beat him up. Good. Lousy foreigner. Gorilla tries to claim Earthquake is an international object - he is Canadian and they are in Canada. You do the geography.
Gorilla is somehow all time-displaced:
Gorilla: "This is what went down earlier on"
Jesse: "No it isn't, this is happening right now!"
Video Package
Jake 'the Snake' Roberts stole the Million Dollar Belt from the Million Dollar Man
4/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Jake 'the Snake' Roberts.
Hoe.
Lee.
Sheet.
10/10
Match for the Million Dollar Belt
Jake 'the Snake' Roberts vs 'The Million Dollar Man' Ted Dibiase (w/Virgil)
Dibiase has an awesome theme. About time. The belt isn't a recognised title? Then why is it up for grabs?
The intensity of that promo flows through into the match and I can't make fun of this at all.
Jesse tells Gorilla to start hanging out with Dibiase so he can get free meals. Free food? Sign me up!
Winner = 'The Million Dollar Man' Ted Dibiase via countout
8/10
Jesse explains that as this is a non-sanctioned belt, Dibiase gets it back.
Jake DDTs Dibiase after the match. Because that's what good guys do.
Backstage
Sean Mooney is with Akeem and Slick. They exist in a cliche of shucking and jiving, turkey.
4/10
Backstage'
Mean' Gene is with the Big Boss Man. He says everyone else is scum and fat. Pot. Kettle. Banana?
5/10
Big Boss Man vs Akeem (w/Slick)
I started zoning out. I doubt I missed much. Or care.
Winner = Big Boss Man via pinfall following side slam
2/10
In The Crowd
Sean Mooney talks to a small kid who says The Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine "can't sing or dance or do anything!"
Then he catches up with Mary Tyler-Moore. He tricks her into showing she knows nothing about pro-wrestling. Well played.
4/10
Musical Performance
Rhythm & Blues - The Honky Tonk Man and Greg 'the Hammer' Valentine.
This.
Is...
AMAZING!
Honky and the girls sing out of time while Valentine poorly mimes playing acoustic guitar and shuffles around like a drunk old man with no rhythm. So I'm guessing he is the blues. Because I get the blues watching him.
This is like the King of the Kickboxers of WrestleMania musical performances.
Oh hurrah - here come The Bushwhackers to end the party
I don't know how to score this. It was a pile of shit - but an entertaining pile of shit.
1/10 for the laughs
WrestleMania VII promo again.
STOP SCREAMING AT ME, VINCE MCMAHON!
Steve Allen joins them at commentary. Bah gawd this could be good...
'Superfly' Jimmy Snuka vs Ravishing Rick Rude (w/Bobby Heenan)
Steve Allen makes jokes about Snuka. Fuck yeah, Steve Allen!
Snuka thinks he can gyrate like Rude because he has no personality of his own. And he is wearing Steve Allen's wife's underwear.
Winner = 'Ravishing' Rick Rude via pinfall following Rude Awakening
3/10
Video Package
Everything that led to this main event. There is no bad guy here - both are the most popular superstars and it's about seeing who is the real number one. Most of these highlights involve Hogan and Warrior saving each other from Earthquake. Because no one wants that fat ass on them.
5/10
Main Event
WWF World Heavyweight Champion vs WWF Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion
Hulk Hogan vs The Ultimate Warrior
Hogan is quite clearly more popular but the commentators insist the crowd are split 50/50.
I really hate the double clothesline spot - it is lame.
Hilariously, Warrior looks like he is just walking in to spots and has clearly rehearsed things.
Then he drops Hogan in an ugly manner. Real ugly.
Winner = The Ultimate Warrior via pinfall following a splash
The Ultimate Warrior wins both belts!
7/10
Not nearly as bad as I remembered. But still not the 5 star classic people call it - Warrior looked like he was ready to curl up and sleep in the corner after the first 10 minutes. Hogan was Hogan - he rocked it.
We are treated to lots of pyro as The Ultimate Warrior celebrates to send us out.
WrestleMania VI: The Awards
SkyDome
Toronto, Ontario - Canada
Attendance: 67,678
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura
My thoughts before this viewing:
This was probably the first WrestleMania I watched on TV back in 1990. I have no idea how far behind we were, but I remember staying up late to watch the whole thing... only to fall asleep during the main event. Because it was like 2am. And because it was boring. Even 10 year-old LOGMAN thought it was boring. Which is funny, because I always read about how that match is some sort of 5 star classic. It isn't. And I can't imagine this viewing changing my mind on that. As for the rest of the show, I remember a few things with my man Brutus Beefcake and The Hart Foundation's match (you'll see why). Otherwise, I don't remember this being a great show. I think. It might be just my distaste for the number 6 that is clouding my memory...
Opening Video Package
Hulk and Warrior are constellations battling for control of the universe
3/10
Oh Canada!
Robert Goulet here to disprove those pesky 'Mean' Gene Okerlund comparisons. And boy does he deliver, in that sweet baritone soul.
That's a national anthem, bitches! Makes me proud to be a Canadian!
If I was Canadian.
A man can dream...
9/10
Opening Match
Koko B. Ware vs Rick 'the Model' Martel
Quick fast-paced opener - nothing to complain about right now...
Winner = Rick 'the Model' Martel via submission using a Boston crab
5/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene Okerlund is with The Colossal Connection and Bobby Heenan. Gene makes a rude joke about their name then makes a pun when they leave. Oh, Gene...
2/10
Backstage
Sean Mooney is with Demolition. They didn't hit any of the usual key words for once - instead planned a "demolition derby". Get it? Looks like it will be a long night...
3/10
WWF Tag Team Championship
Demolition vs The Colossal Connection (c) (w/Bobby Heenan)
Demolition's theme is still the best. In a moment of honest hilarity, Jesse accuses Gorilla of being biased and Gorilla agrees.
Solid match. Haku accidentally kicked Andre the Giant in the face. That's impressive - isn't Andre about 10 feet tall by now?
Winners = Demolition via pinfall following decapitation of Haku
New Champions!
4/10
After the match, Bobby is upset and takes it out on Andre, but Andre is a giant and doesn't take any shit from a little weasel. He beats the crap out of Bobby and Haku which surprisingly makes Jesse excited - he likes getting to see fights for free!
6/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Earthquake and Jimmy Hart. According to Jimmy, all the scientists in the world are watching to see what happens. I'm sure plenty of scientists love pro-wresting. Totally. Especially when it involves big fat sweaty guys.
1/10
Hercules vs Earthquake (w /Jimmy Hart)
Apparently Earthquake has sent 28 men to the hospital. That's nice that he is able to help people with directions. Earthquake likes to jump around his opponent. Not on them - around them. What a manoeuvre! Then he sits on them. Told you being overly fat is a vastly underrated skill in pro-wrestling.
Winner = Earthquake via pinfall following sitting on Hercules with his fat ass
4/10
Some gossip columnist named Rona Barrett is having a sit-down interview with Miss Elizabeth, chat show styles. Elizabeth says she is considering a return to the WWF. So what? When she is there, all she does is stand around and looks pretty. And gets in the way. A lot.
1/10
Backstage
Sean Mooney talks to Brutus 'the Barber' Beefcake. He is still better than you.
7/10
Brutus 'the Barber Beefcake vs Mr Perfect (w/ the Genius)
Jesse has Paul Newman's eyes, Kirk Douglas' chin and Robert Duvall's haircut - sounds like he is Frankenstein's monster. That explains why he always wears bandannas.
Mary Tyler-Moore is watching in the crowd. She looks like Brutus has given her a new hairstyle as well.
Winner = Brutus 'the Barber' Beefcake via pinfall
8/10
After the match, Brutus runs down The Genius and finishes his haircut.
Beefcake forever!
Video Package
Recap of the feud between 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper and Bad News Brown. They don't like each other, but I still don't know why.
2/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with a supremely racist Piper, complete with half of his face & body painted black.
Yay racism!
-4/10
What the fuck happened to you, Roddy Piper? The first 3 WrestleManias were your playground. Now you are ruining the fucking shows. GO BACK HOME AND DON'T COME BACK!
'Rowdy' Roddy Piper vs Bad News Brown
Remember when Piper retired at WrestleMania III? He doesn't either. I wish someone would and enforce that...
The microphones picks up the ref swearing at Piper. Oh, it's Dangerous Danny Davis! When did he become a referee again? This match is so exciting, I'm tweeting Brutus Beefcake to tell him how great the match with Mr. Perfect was.
For some reason Piper puts on a silver glove. Guess being racist involves some weird Michael Jackson joke I don't get.
What a surprise - a shitty match with a shitty finish.
-1/10
Fuck off, Piper. Just fuck the fuck off.
About 10 referees come out to pull them apart and they brawl to the back.
Backstage
STEVE FUCKING ALLEN!
He's playing piano and The Bolsheviks want him to play their national anthem, but instead he just mocks them by playing random silly songs. Stupid commies aren't safe even in a nice country like Canada. Call me lame, but that was awesome.
8/10
The Hart Foundation vs The Bolsheviks
Fuck yeah. Bret Hart is a true champ and give his shades to a lucky fan in the front row. Yes, I do wish that kid was me. Fuck you.
The Bolsheviks sing the Russian national anthem and the Hart Foundation don't like that being sung in their beautiful homeland of Canada, so they attack. Bell rings. They hoist up Boris Zhukov and hit the Hart Attack. That's it, bitches!
Winners = The Hart Foundation with the greatest pin in pro-wrestling history
9/10
That was almost as quick as a Ronda Rousey fight.
Jesse is pissed. Real pissed.
Promo for WrestleMania VII
Vince McMahon is screaming it will be the biggest WrestleMania of all time - pretty ridiculous to say that right in the middle of WrestleMania. I mean, should I just turn this off and watch that instead? Should I, Vince? How would that make you feel?
Dick.
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Tito Santana, who has a funky new Tito Santana t-shirt that features a sombrero. He hits the "arriba". My grandma had a budgie that learned to say that by hearing Tito's promos on Superstars of Wrestling. No joke. My Grandma was a hardcore WWF fan that would put internet jerks to shame.
3/10
Tito Santana vs The Barbarian (w/Bobby Heenan)
Tito has a cool theme that sounds like a nightclub scene in Miami Vice. Pretty sure that show was cancelled already, so I'm a bit out of touch. 1990 is just moving too fast for me.
I kinda missed a lot of this as I was making a gif of Bret Hart pinning Boris Zhukov.
Winner = The Barbarian via pinfall following murderous clothesline
4/10
Video Package
Recap of the 'Macho Man' Randy Savage and Dusty Rhodes feud, which also involves their ladies - Sensational Sherri and Sapphire. Some background info would be helpful instead of just watching them fight with no context.
2//10
Backstage
Sean Mooney is with Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire. Even with garbage to say, Rhodes is still the best on the mic. All time.
4/10
Mixed Tag Team Match
Dusty Rhodes & Sapphire vs 'Macho King' Randy Savage & Queen Sherri
Oh yeah, Macho Man is the King now.
Winners = Dusty Rhodes & Sapphire via pinfall following interference from Miss Elizabeth
7/10
The winners shake their bootys to Dusty's theme. Get down!
Vince McMahon yells at me about WrestleMania VII again.
Backstage
Bobby 'the Brain' Heenan is losing it over Andre attacking him. Fair enough.
8/10
Jesse and Gorilla are with Rona Barrett. She has some x-rated footage of Jesse Ventura, so he quickly sends us to Sean Mooney...
1/10
Sean Mooney is with Macho King and Queen Sherri. Needless to say, they are not in a good mood after losing that match. Savage actually picks up a phone and says "You better get on the phone and call somebody!"
8/10
'Mean' Gene is with Demolition. They will be fighting champions. I'm pretty sure they would be fighting nobodies - they just like fighting.
6/10
The promos didn't take up enough time so it is...
INTERMISSION
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Hulk Hogan. He hopes Ultimate Warrior is a loser.
6/10
Sean Mooney is with The Ultimate Warrior, who decides Mooney is pathetic and throws him out. He then performs a soliloquy from RoboCop. I think. He is insane.
7/10
The Rockers vs The Orient Express (w/Mr. Fuji)
Jesse spends the match making fun of Gorilla for being old and a terrible wrestler.
Marty Jannetty gets some salt in the eyes and then comically tumbles over the barrier.
5/10
Backstage
STEVE ALLEN is sent to interview The Honky Tonk Man & Greg 'the Hammer' Valentine, "now known - for reasons that remain obscure" as Rhythm & Blues. They are getting ready for their performance, but somebody best call the waaaaambulance, because these dudes just got seriously BURNED.
10/10
And he's trying again!!!
They should deport you. We are so not related.
Winner =
1/10
After the match, the Canadians beat him up. Good. Lousy foreigner. Gorilla tries to claim Earthquake is an international object - he is Canadian and they are in Canada. You do the geography.
Gorilla is somehow all time-displaced:
Gorilla: "This is what went down earlier on"
Jesse: "No it isn't, this is happening right now!"
Video Package
Jake 'the Snake' Roberts stole the Million Dollar Belt from the Million Dollar Man
4/10
Backstage
'Mean' Gene is with Jake 'the Snake' Roberts.
Hoe.
Lee.
Sheet.
10/10
Match for the Million Dollar Belt
Jake 'the Snake' Roberts vs 'The Million Dollar Man' Ted Dibiase (w/Virgil)
Dibiase has an awesome theme. About time. The belt isn't a recognised title? Then why is it up for grabs?
The intensity of that promo flows through into the match and I can't make fun of this at all.
Jesse tells Gorilla to start hanging out with Dibiase so he can get free meals. Free food? Sign me up!
Winner = 'The Million Dollar Man' Ted Dibiase via countout
8/10
Jesse explains that as this is a non-sanctioned belt, Dibiase gets it back.
Jake DDTs Dibiase after the match. Because that's what good guys do.
Backstage
Sean Mooney is with Akeem and Slick. They exist in a cliche of shucking and jiving, turkey.
4/10
Mean' Gene is with the Big Boss Man. He says everyone else is scum and fat. Pot. Kettle. Banana?
5/10
Big Boss Man vs Akeem (w/Slick)
I started zoning out. I doubt I missed much. Or care.
Winner = Big Boss Man via pinfall following side slam
2/10
In The Crowd
Sean Mooney talks to a small kid who says The Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine "can't sing or dance or do anything!"
4/10
Musical Performance
Rhythm & Blues - The Honky Tonk Man and Greg 'the Hammer' Valentine.
This.
Is...
AMAZING!
Honky and the girls sing out of time while Valentine poorly mimes playing acoustic guitar and shuffles around like a drunk old man with no rhythm. So I'm guessing he is the blues. Because I get the blues watching him.
This is like the King of the Kickboxers of WrestleMania musical performances.
Oh hurrah - here come The Bushwhackers to end the party
I don't know how to score this. It was a pile of shit - but an entertaining pile of shit.
1/10 for the laughs
WrestleMania VII promo again.
STOP SCREAMING AT ME, VINCE MCMAHON!
Steve Allen joins them at commentary. Bah gawd this could be good...
'Superfly' Jimmy Snuka vs Ravishing Rick Rude (w/Bobby Heenan)
Steve Allen makes jokes about Snuka. Fuck yeah, Steve Allen!
Snuka thinks he can gyrate like Rude because he has no personality of his own. And he is wearing Steve Allen's wife's underwear.
3/10
Video Package
Everything that led to this main event. There is no bad guy here - both are the most popular superstars and it's about seeing who is the real number one. Most of these highlights involve Hogan and Warrior saving each other from Earthquake. Because no one wants that fat ass on them.
5/10
Main Event
WWF World Heavyweight Champion vs WWF Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion
Hulk Hogan vs The Ultimate Warrior
Hogan is quite clearly more popular but the commentators insist the crowd are split 50/50.
I really hate the double clothesline spot - it is lame.
Then he drops Hogan in an ugly manner. Real ugly.
Winner = The Ultimate Warrior via pinfall following a splash
The Ultimate Warrior wins both belts!
7/10
Not nearly as bad as I remembered. But still not the 5 star classic people call it - Warrior looked like he was ready to curl up and sleep in the corner after the first 10 minutes. Hogan was Hogan - he rocked it.
We are treated to lots of pyro as The Ultimate Warrior celebrates to send us out.
WrestleMania VI: The Awards
- Best Match
Jake 'the Snake' Roberts vs 'The Million Dollar Man' Ted Dibiase
It was a tough call, because I also thought Brutus vs Perfect was awesome, and The Hart Foundation/Bolsheviks match just wasn't really a match. Even if it was the coolest part of the show. - Worst Match
'Rowdy' Roddy Piper vs Bad News Brown
On top of the complete shitfest this was, the Michael Jackson glove spot was wiggidy-wack. - Highlight of the Show
That pin from Bret Hart. I'd post the gif again but blogger's layout is pants. - Lowlight of the Show
'Rowdy' Roddy Piper getting super racist. Look, I know it was a different time and all, but his shit was on a whole different level and just not acceptable.
Special mention toMy Uncle Alan'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan for trying to get a USA chant going in Canada.
THREE TIMES!
He is gawdam retard. - Star of the Show
Probably The Ultimate Warrior. Getting to be Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania while defeating Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania is pretty huge. - Best Celebrity Appearance
Steve Allen. Internet jerks can suck a cold one, he is hilarious. - Worst Celebrity Appearance
That random lady I had to look up on Wikipedia. I hope I spelled her name wrong. - Tonight's Meal
Tonight's wrap was avocado, spinach, kale, tomato, and red onion with hoki fillets, topped with tartare sauce. Delicious again. I am digging these wraps. The Oatmeal Creme Pie was like a cup of sugar, baked in sugar and then left to cool in plastic to get that nice plastic taste. Tonight I had to rock the Mountain Dew again so I could stay awake! Now I'm way too wired... - T-Shirt Cleanliness
About the same. Lucky for me, I botched the iron on transfer and that protects the t-shirt from stains in some places. - Overall Score
This was a real surprise; I came in expecting a terrible show and instead got one of the best WrestleManias possible. Lots of fun matches, great backstage promos, and hilariously bad stuff. A few duds here and there, but mostly found myself giddy with excitement. Hells to the yeah!
7 out of 10
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